Matters of the Heart
by flyintherightdirection
Summary: After Sarah Reese changed her mind about her career choices, what if it wasn't Dr Charles who had an opportunity for her? What if it was Dr Connor Rhodes?
1. Chapter 1

Reese hated coffee now. The smell of it. The taste of it. The process of making it.

She used to love it. Not for the substance in itself per se, she always found it slightly bitter, for the memories that she now associated with it.

The hours of studying and researching, where the only things keeping her awake and alert was her drive to be better and the black liquid that helped her keep her eyes open.

The times that she would be drinking it in the doctor's lounge and not know what hour of her shift she was on, and not caring because she loved it. The hustle and bustle and craziness that was the Chicago Med ED.

The minutes she would have to spare while analyzing test results to drink enough coffee to give her energy to keep going. To help another patient. To try to solve the problems she was faced with. To do her best. To help.

Of storing her belongings in her locker before her shift began, while Will or Nat made a batch of coffee for everyone. She met her superiors in that lounge, but after months of trying her best, of failing and trying again, all she was ever met by was a reassuring smile or an understanding nod. Because they were all in that fast-paced, high risk environment together.

Coffee in Chicago Med had made her feel like she finally belonged somewhere.

The presence of coffee all around her in the coffee shop didn't give her any fond associations. It made her panic when the machines wouldn't work and drive her crazy when the customers were picky with their choices. It felt like nearly ten years of study sliding down the drain of one of the sinks behind the counter.

"One Americano" One of her co-workers said, passing one the order to where Reese stood still battling the coffee machine. She didn't even know which co-worker it was. She didn't know half of their names. That was something that she missed about Med, even without name tags, she had known everybody's name. They were all in it together. In this coffee shop? Everyone was here until they finished their required hours. It was always half way through her day that made her want to run back to pathology, and grovel and beg and plead to be taken back, just to have _something_ to do with medicine again. But she knew it wasn't what she wanted, and it would be as wrong for her as making coffee was.

"Dr Reese?" Her head shot up to look across the counter to see who had called her that. A version of her name that nobody called her by anymore, certainly not the staff here. Even Will, and Ethan and all the rest had called her Sarah, or Reese, when they wrote her that card when she had finished her placement. Hell, even Joey had stopped calling her it. It was an inside joke they shared, he had called her Doctor because he always said she deserved it, until she became one and walked away from pathology. It was a version of her name that she had made peace with not hearing again until she was back practicing medicine again.

"D..Dr Rhodes..." She practically fell over his name when he looked at her. A man full of complications that weren't reflected in his drink choice. It was a game she had, to keep her sane, to pretend she was helping Dr Charles with an assessment or Will with a history search, to match the customers and their drinks. More complicated drinks made her come up with more complicated backstories for the long line of people that came and went all day. But she would not have matched such a straightforward drink to the man that was now looking back at her.

"Hi, hi, how are you?" She felt like a deer caught in headlights, something like what her first day in the ED had felt like. "Americano coming up." She could feel herself flushing red, from embarrassment that she had quit, from the prospect of him thinking she didn't even care about Med anymore, and if she were honest, more from the fact that he was looking at her with his intense stare. One he only wore when he had a problem to solve. She wasn't sure how to deal with his attention.

"I didn't realize you were working here." He said as she busied herself making the drink in front of her.

"Yeah." She couldn't help the sigh that escaped. "I decided pathology wasn't for me. A little too late. But I realize that I want to help people, I want to work with them while they still have a chance. And I can't do that in pathology." She told him the same thing she told everyone who asked, hoping that he would understand and not question her judgment like everyone else, or get annoyed like Joey had.

She handed him the paper cup and waited a beat before continuing. "I, eh, I heard about Dr Downey... I'm sorry." Then she immediately wondered if she had gone too far. She would hardly consider Dr Rhodes and herself friendly, not really.

He just nodded in response and she felt like she burning the rest of her bridges with Med.

He took the cup from the counter and stopped himself before he turned away. "Do you still want to be a doctor, Dr Reese?"

"More than anything." She replied without hesitation. "I'm just waiting for the right opening right now."

He smiled, "See, I knew from the beginning you'd make a great doctor, Sarah. Pathology was a phase for most of us too."

She gave him a small smile, blindsided by the fact that he knew her first name. All this from the man that wouldn't even give her a high five!

"I'll just have to wait for the next openings for matches, and hope my scores are enough." She never liked uncertainty, she liked to be able to do something about the uncertainty.

He placed his cup back on the counter, "There's an opening for a residency, in cardiology. Originally under Dr Downey, but since...Well let's say the match didn't want it without Dr Downey. I'd be one of the fellows on the team, that's how I know about it. You'd probably be needed in the ED quite a bit, dependent on what our new surgeon wants but..."

"Can I sign up now?" She couldn't believe her ears and even managed to wave off one of the co-workers who tempted to interrupt this life-changing conversation.

He smiled again, something she couldn't remember ever seeing him do before today. And something, she decided, that she would like to see more of.

"You'll have to apply, I know Goodwin is taking an interest this time, they don't want to lose another resident, and there is plenty of competition for it, but I'm sure you have a shot. I'm sure you'll get good recommendations from the ED. I just thought you should know."

"Yeah, I understand, but thank you. Thanks for letting me know." She couldn't help but sigh wistfully, "I'd love to get back to Med."

"Speaking of Med, I better get back." He made to move away from the counter. "See you soon Dr Reese."

She smiled, contained her giggles of excitement at the prospect of actually getting to practice medicine again, and waved as he walked out of the café.

Maybe coffee wasn't so bad in the café after all, she decided later that day, because all it seemed to remind her of now was Dr Rhodes. And that wasn't a bad association at all.

* * *

A/N: So after being a big fan of Chicago Fire and PD for a while, I've finally got into Chicago Med...and I love it!

Just so you know, medicine, and hospital systems, and EDs are not my strong points, I've tried to make sense of them, so if things aren't correct or my medical terms aren't right, I'm sorry and I don't mean to insult anyone who works in medicine. I'm just going where the characters and stories take me.

Since I'm quite new to this fandom, I realized that I love Dr Rhodes, and I love Dr Reese, and they don't get much time together in my opinion. I thought I'd fix that :)

I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Aside from her match day, Sarah Reese couldn't remember ever feeling as nervous as she did sitting outside the interview room in the hospital corridor. She was amazed that she had even gotten the interview, but with Dr Downey's passing, she knew it was extenuating circumstances for the residency in cardiology. But still. Ms Goodwin had called her mere minutes after she had sent on her application.

She had thought that her interview had gone well, she had prepared more than she ever had before. Cardiology had always been one of her top goals, it was one of the main reasons she had ever wanted to become a doctor, but the shock of ED had skewed her vision, and suddenly pathology had seemed like the safe option.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door reopened and it made her stand up from where she was hunched over in the waiting chairs.

Dr Kingston, who was for all intents and purposes her potential boss, stepped out of the room, along with Ms Goodwin. Her stomach dropped because they didn't look too happy. And suddenly the fact that they told her to wait around after her interview all made sense. They wanted to let her down easily, because as far as she knew she was the only medical student that had done a term in Med that was applying for the position.

She fixed her suit jacket and reminded herself to breathe but she could barely look them in the eye. She made a mental note to send Dr Rhodes a thank you card for mentioning the opening to her and prepared herself to go back to the coffee shop the next day.

"Dr Reese." Ms Goodwin stated in the tone that could calm anyone down. "After much deliberation, and considering your results and progress as a student as well as the _quality_ of your recommendations. And of course, your history with us here…"

Sarah bit her lip, there it was, the pathology rejection coming back to haunt her. She had obviously insulted everyone and caused far too much hassle. Her mind was racing and she was holding back tears.

"We would be delighted to offer you a place on our residency program here on our cardiology team."

If she wasn't a doctor, she would have sworn her heart stopping her chest. She blinked once and then twice. "I'm sorry?"

"I've discussed it with the others in my department of course, and it's a consensus that you would be a very valuable asset to our team Dr Reese." Dr Kingston said.

"I…really? Thank you so much, this means so much. I swear I won't let you down. I swear. Thank you." She shook Dr Kingston's hand and Ms Goodwin's while holding back tears of happiness.

"Once this is what you want Dr Reese?" Ms Goodwin raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, yes I promise I won't back out of this. I really want this opportunity. I can't wait to…oh wow!" She couldn't event think straight, putting her hand to her forehead and laughing with joy and relief. Emotions she definitely hadn't felt on match day.

"Congratulations Dr Reese." Dr Kingston smiled, "Enjoy your day, but I expect you here for the start of shift tomorrow, you have a lot to catch up on." His expression turned serious and she knew immediately that he may seem kind and fair but she knew to be at his level, he had to have high expectations and wouldn't be easy to impress. Doubt tangled and jumped around in her stomach but she pushed it down. She wouldn't worry until tomorrow. Today she had just been given a second shot at her dream.

She thanked them again and started making her way back out of the hospital. Her hands were shaking so much, she could barely dial her mum's number.

"Sarah? How did it go?" Her Mum asked, but she could hear her Dad asking the same thing in the background.

"I got the job Mum! I got the residency!" She practically cried down the phone.

"I knew it! Oh I knew you could do it. Oh I'm so proud of you. Look at you, following your heart works doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does."

"You thank that Dr Rhodes for us won't you? Make sure to thank him again for the heads up Sarah. Look at you! You did so good, they all want you back!"

She had to cut her mother and then her father off when she was heading toward the elevator because she would just cry the whole way down to the exit. And that was not the impression she wanted to make to any future colleagues. She promised to call them later and quickly texted Joey to let him know the good news. She knew he was in the lab all day and couldn't call her until later, having sent her a text that morning. She was hoping for flowers, like he had sent the morning she had got her match, but she shrugged it off, he was busy with work.

She couldn't stop smiling the entire elevator ride down to the ground floor. She kept glancing around, as she made her way to the exit, memorising everything all over again, because next time she would see it, she would be Dr Sarah Reese, Cardiology Resident.

She decided to stop off in the doctors' lounge to see if she could catch Dr Rhodes to thank him and let him know he had another resident on his team. The room was empty when she arrived and she wandered over to the coffee machine and turned it on out of nostalgia.

"I was going to ask for another coffee, but how did the interview go?" Dr Rhodes voice came from the doorway. He was propping it open with his shoulder, blood on his shirt and a slightly nervous expression in his eyes.

She laughed, "I won't be making anyone coffee anytime soon."

"You got the job." He nodded, "Congratulations, you deserve it."

"I can't thank you enough, seriously. At this stage, you can probably expect a thank you card from my parents as well for getting me the opportunity."

"Hey," Dr Rhodes held his hands up. "I just told you about it, getting the job is on you. I'll have to let Maggie know, she's organising a party for you in Molly's later by the way. I've got surgery later…" His pager beeped. "Or now, so if I don't make it tonight, I presume I'll see you tomorrow. Congratulations Sarah." He patted her shoulder and ran.

True to Dr Rhodes' word, Sarah got a text off Maggie a few minutes later congratulating her and telling her to get to Molly's that evening to celebrate with her new colleagues.

She walked around the city a bit, and couldn't sit still when she went home, even the extra textbooks she had invested in couldn't hold her interest, she ended up doing laundry, figuring that she wouldn't have much time to do it from now. Cardiology would be a challenge, but one she was ready for.

Molly's time rolled around quickly, Joey was working late and had texted to tell her that he'd meet her there and they could go for dinner afterwards. She stood in her dress in her bedroom, that more was more medical library than place of rest and smiled at the phone. She didn't know why she doubted he's happiness for her. She had to give him time to get over the pathology blow, but even though she knew now that he didn't want any other job besides it, maybe he could start to see how good she could be in other aspects of medicine.

She got out of her cab outside Molly's and panic set in, because surely these people meant more to her than she to them. She assumed she was still practically a kid in their eyes. She tried to quench her impending disappointment as she stepped in.

"Ah, there's our newest doctor everybody!" She stalled inside the door when Herrmann's voice rang out above the crowd.

The place was pretty full, not only were there firefighters and police but half the ED was there too. She broke into surprised laughter. She didn't expect that reaction, she assumed she would have to wait until the next time she went home before she would get a party for her new job. Unable to stop smiling, she made her way over to where her now colleagues were. She was passed around for hugs from Maggie, April, Will and Ethan and Nat and Dr Charles shook her hand and congratulated her on taking the leap. Herrmann wouldn't let her pay for her drinks, saying that it was probable that some of them would be in need of her services in the future.

They all fell into conversation. It felt natural. It felt like home.

Will's brother and his girlfriend congratulated her, as well as the paramedics of 51 and the firefighters behind the bar.

"So you excited for tomorrow? Quick start huh?" Maggie asked, sitting between her and Nat while April was standing near.

"I know but I am beyond excited. I can't wait to get back to everything, I feel like I forgot so much already, I just need to revise everything and…"

"Breathe Sarah." Nat reminded her softly before she could start to overly panic. "I'd say it's overwhelming now, but you're more than capable."

"Exactly, Conor wouldn't convince Goodwin into considering you if he didn't believe in you. And it's hard to earn his respect." April said.

"What?"

"Oh yeah, the application had closed a week ago, he fought for you to have that interview."

"But…how do you know…?"

"The nurses know everything." Will pretended to whisper in a suspicious tone. "Honestly Reese, I feel sorry for you, you'll have to work with Connor more than we will for a while."

"I'm sorry I wouldn't object. The man is beautiful." April smirked into her glass.

"Oh agreed." Maggie laughed.

Sarah couldn't help but laugh at the face that Will pulled, like he had just been betrayed on a matter of life and death.

"But you can't work with the man! He's stubborn and…"

"Look who's talking." Nat shot Will's rant down. "And Sarah has always gotten on well with him, haven't you?"

"Eh, I guess?" She hadn't really given too much thought among the cases she had worked.

"You're about the only person that he doesn't complain about." Will rolled his eyes at his co-worker's moods.

She was spared from the bizarre conversation when she looked around just in time to see Joey coming in. He looked unsteady in the surrounding. She supposed she couldn't blame him, he wasn't a Molly's frequent and didn't have much exposure to anyone else outside of the pathology department.

"Joey, hey!" She called over after excusing herself from the ED's debate on Connor Rhodes' preferences and rushed over to her boyfriend at the door.

"Congratulations Sarah." He wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you." she smiled, "Come on over, practically half of Med is here tonight." She started to pull him gently over to the group of people she considered friends. Sure, she had a few friends from home, and then from medical school, but these were her friends that would become her family.

"I thought we would go for dinner."

"Oh, yeah, I know, can we not wait a while though?" She didn't want to run away too quickly when everyone was there for her benefit.

"I already waited, I sent you a couple of messages so I assumed you were busy here." He said and she checked her phone for the first time since she had entered the bar. "And I kind of want an early night, the new resident in pathology is very hard to work with. I wish it had been you." He squeezed her hand and she felt guilt worm its way into her stomach.

"I know it was our plan but I'm really excited about this new job." She explained again and tried to keep her smile bright.

"I know." He said, but was interrupted when April called her back over.

"Sorry I..." Sarah said but felt him pull his hand away from hers.

"Look, why don't you enjoy you're night and we can celebrate some other time? Some of us from pathology are going out later in the week, it'll be my night off, so we can meet up then okay?"

She didn't get to tell him that she probably wouldn't have much free time what with starting her new job and learning the ropes because he had kissed her on the cheek, given her a smile and left.

"Is he not staying?" April asked when Sarah had rejoined their group.

"Oh, no. He's busy with work and the new resident is driving him crazy, he wishes it was me I guess."

"Honey, pathology would have driven you crazy." Maggie said, wrapping her arm around her. "He'll get over it."

She tried to enjoy the rest of her early night. It had been hard to quit pathology, and go against what most people thought about her essentially quitting medicine. But it was harder to start a new phase in her career when her own boyfriend wasn't excited about it.

When she got home, she packed her bag for the next day and called her parents back. She skimmed though a few books and paced the floor with nerves. She lay awake for what felt like an age before falling into a fitful sleep and dreamt of sitting an exam she wasn't prepared her, where the questions revolved around Americano coffees and all she could hear was the loud drumming of a beating heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah had managed a few hours of sleep before her alarm woke her up, the one that allowed her enough time to research some areas that she was weak in and hoped it would be enough to get her through her first day. She knew she was ridiculously early for her shift, but she couldn't sit around at home any longer. It was nearly worse than her first day on rotation because now she had something to prove.

She had just put her belongings in her new locker in the doctors' lounge when she heard someone come in.

"You're here early." She jumped when she heard Dr Rhodes voice behind her. He sent a small smile her way as stored his belongings in his locker.

"Yeah, I couldn't wait around at home any longer, I think I just need to get started and jump back in. God, I hope it's not like my first day here. I..."

"Reese, you'll be fine. You know all our systems here, you've outperformed the rest of the students in your rotation, and you won't be operating on your own." And she couldn't help but put a little faith in his words.

"You're right. I'm sorry" She took a deep breath to calm herself.

"It's alright, first days are always bad. I threw up before I started my first shift in my residency. You're not doing too badly this morning." He said while digging out clothes from his locker and not looking her in the eye.

"You're joking right?" She could never imagine Dr Connor Rhodes being nervous about anything.

He turned his head to look at her, and she noticed something between a smile and a smirk playing on his lips, "Okay I am" He sighed, "I just thought it might make you feel better though." He smirked before excusing himself to go and get changed.

She paced the room while he went and got changed into his work clothes and she reminded herself that she had a boyfriend. And she would not swoon at his smile like half the staff did. Or maybe she would just a little bit.

"You can come up with me to the cardiology department, Kingston's usually in early anyways and you can get your bearings before everyone else starts bustling around if you want." He said as he came back out and wrapped his stethoscope around his neck.

She mimicked his actions, "Sure that sounds good." She followed him to the elevator and watched some of the new students follow Dr Rhodes with their eyes. She couldn't really blame them. She had had a crush on him her first day too. He was helpful and gorgeous all in one package, it set her student heart racing.

They made it to the elevator and he pushed the button for the cardiology floor. She smiled to herself as she felt the elevator moving up. If she had told herself on her first day at Med that she would be in an elevator alone with Dr Rhodes, she would have giggled right along with the other students. But the more she found she loved medicine, the more she felt at home in Med, it had made her forget that she had found Dr Rhodes attractive or that she was terrified of Dr Zanetti, or that Maggie had intimidated her because she knew so much more than Sarah did.

"There's a third year resident on the team. Dr Geraghty. I would assume you'd shadow her until you got your bearings. I'm still mainly working for trauma but the circumstances are still uncertain, still, page me if you need me."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind, thanks." She looked up to see him looking right back at her. Later on, she would put it down to nerves. The fact that her heart fluttered in her chest. That it seemed like electricity buzzing around them in the small space. That his eyes didn't leave hers.

The doors in front of them opened and they stepped out together. Dr Rhodes' pager beeped, which made her jump.

"Looks like I'm back in the ED, Dr Kingston's office is the second on the right. I'll see you around Sarah." He nodded before pushing another button.

"Uh sure." She practically told the elevator doors that had closed before turning and making herself walk towards Dr Kingston's office.

She saw him sitting in his office and she knocked and he beckoned for her to come in.

"Dr Kingston, thank you again for..." Sarah started.

"It's alright Dr Reese, but I'm expecting great things from you. You are not my first choice, but the hospital staff were very much in your favour. I would like for you to live up to their expectations." He said, shuffling papers that sat on his desk.

Sarah swallowed hard and nodded her head, thinking that it wasn't the warmest welcome she could get.

"I would like you to shadow Dr Geraghty, she's a third year resident, for the day, see the ins and outs of this department. It is undergoing significant changes but that does not mean we slack here. I expect you to keep busy. I'll ease you into the operations easily, I've come across a lot of pathology matches who run a mile when examining a _live_ body."

Reese was saved from the reminder of her past mistakes by the timely arrival of Dr Geraghty.

Dr Geraghty introduced herself but it was clear Dr Kingston was finished with her introduction so Sarah followed the older woman out of the room.

"Kate." The woman said and shook Sarah's hand. Kate was slightly taller than her, with long black hair and a look of distaste in her eye. The woman's pager beeped before Sarah could introduce herself and she ended up trying to keep up with the other doctor who took off at a fast pace towards the cardiology bay.

The staff was milling around the bay the same way as the ED so she was in familiar territory, she even noticed the nurse who acted like Maggie.

"Sarah." Dr Rhodes was in his operation scrubs as he rushed by the two women and nodded in her direction.

Dr Geraghty turned on the spot, "So you _do_ know Dr Rhodes."

"Yeah, I mean I worked with him on my rotation."

"So the rumours were true." Kate's stare nearly made Sarah flinch under the scrutiny. "You _are_ the resident he got in."

Kate kept walking and took a tablet off of Maggie's equivalent and all Sarah could do was watched as they swapped a few words.

"Oh no, it's not like that, he didn't get me in…" Sarah said as Dr Geraghty turned back to her.

"Uh huh." Kate waved her off and promptly handed her the tablet, "There's not enough staff in today, you're going to take the routine patients, don't mess up, you can't go running to Dr Rhodes every time something goes wrong."

And that was how Sarah found herself standing in the middle of the cardiology department with a patient's file in her hands. She huffed slightly in annoyance and squared her shoulders, she didn't like it when people underestimated her or fobbed her off. She didn't get time to stand up for her own name and credentials before Kate had run off somewhere else. She swiped through the file, gathering the necessary information just the way Maggie had thought her, and kept herself from setting the story straight with any staff that would listen. Because if _that_ was how her boss and mentor had welcomed her, she presumed she would be in for a frosty welcome in the department.

She found the way to the waiting room with Dr Rhodes words playing in her head, _you've outperformed the rest of the students in your rotation,_ and decided if the cardiology staff were expecting just a mediocre student who had gotten her place because of her connections, she would just have to prove them wrong. She set her shoulders back and retrieved her patient from the waiting room and got to work.

Seven patients later, and after practising saying "Dr Reese" instead of "Sarah Reese, medical student" a dozen times in her head, she was beginning to feel like she was getting the hang of it. She had sent them on for the appropriate tests and even managed to catch one of the patient's wives who was complaining of nausea too as needing further tests as well.

She had had to text Joey and tell him to have lunch without her, she didn't dare go looking for Dr Geraghty and asking when her lunch break was.

Her next patient was a woman in her mid-sixties. Sarah washed her hands upon entering the cubicle and glanced again at the screen to make sure she got her name right.

"Hi Lizzy, how are you? I'm Dr Reese, I'm going to be your doctor for today." She said her lines like she in a play and then a beat later she remembered to put a smile on her face.

"Oh, aren't you young? Well it's nice to meet you. You know my youngest daughter mustn't be much older than you, she's a baker not a doctor though. It may not be as noble a profession, but it makes people smile."

"I'm sure it does." Sarah replied, trying to get a word in edge ways with the woman who was beaming with a smile in front of her. For the first time, being young wasn't a problem to a patient. She liked the woman already.

But 'baker' was like a buzzword to Sarah who went about checking the woman's vitals, almost a sure cause of an underlying high cholesterol problem that hadn't been diagnosed yet. "It says here, you went to your doctor with shortness of breath and some chest pains? And you are scheduled for an echo-cardiogram in a few minutes…"

"Yeah, he put me on some blood pressure tablets that aren't working well I'm afraid." The first slip in the woman's bright and cheerful expression was her flinch of pain.

"Okay, well let me just check…" Sarah was talking to herself as much as the patient as she turned away to retrieve some supplies from the heart monitor that sat in the corner. She turned back around to find the woman convulsing in pain.

Heart attack. And Sarah found herself being utterly grateful that she had worked in the ED. She didn't panic this time, she just acted.

"Lizzy, can you hear me?" She sat the woman back and listened to her chest after pressing the emergency button.

" _Code Blue…Treatment 4….Code Blue…Treatment 4…."_

Sarah nearly didn't hear the alarm wailing as she started checking the woman's vitals.

The door flew open and three nurses arrived, when they all looked to her she realized that for half a second she was waiting for someone else's orders. But she was in charge now. And she had to act like it.

"I need an IV line and a chest x-ray now." She told the staff, "I'm assuming a blocked artery, so I'm going to need the angioplasty right away, we're going to the cath lab now…"

They had secured the woman in the trolley, had an IV line going and were just about to move when Dr Geraghty arrived.

"We're going to need an angioplasty and…"

"I'm taking this." She told the nurses and took Sarah's place, "We're going to need a bypass…" Sarah was left running after her patient and Dr Geraghty.

They practically ran the patient's trolley into Dr Rhodes who looked like he was just out of surgery.

"But she could have high cholesterol, if we give her an angioplasty then it would have less adverse effects. Her daughters a baker, I'm sure she's been eating more than she should of the baking. It would be less dangerous if we…"

"Who's in charge here?" Dr Geraghty nearly shouted at her. "I say we're booking her in for a bypass right now, the woman is having a heart attack Reese. There is no confirmed history of cholesterol, we don't know what we're dealing with. You're not allowed into the surgery, you're obviously too attached" She practically spat her words at Sarah before pushing through to the theatre.

Sarah didn't know whether she felt like screaming or crying in frustration.

"For the record, I'd go with your diagnosis." Dr Rhodes said as he watched the doors shut. "And sometimes it helps to actually care about the patient." He said with a small smile and soft eyes.

"Hey, why don't you go grab lunch, Geraghty will be busy for a while having to explain herself when the surgeon will want to do what you wanted to." He suggested.

"I think I will. I'll just finish my end of the paperwork." She said, "Did you have lunch yet?" She felt it only polite to invite him, and she wouldn't mind the company. And she definitely wouldn't mind his company. She felt like she could use a friendly face and she was only a few hours into the day.

"Thanks, but I'm due back in theatre in ten minutes." He said glancing at the clock on the wall, and frowning slightly "Let me know how you get on at the end of the day okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Dr Rhodes."

He threw his head back and laughed slightly, "You can call me Connor you know. If Will Halstead insists on calling me by my first name, I figure you can too, I do like you better than him."

"Oh come on, I think you and Will are secretly best friends." It was a favourite topic of conversation among the ED staff ever since Connor had started work in Med.

"Now that you mention it, I am partial to buying him clothes, that's what friends do right?" He smiled.

"What?" She laughed as they fell into step together on the way back to the cardiology bay.

"It's a long story, remind me to tell you about it sometime."

"I definitely will." She smiled, before heading back to her treatment room and grabbing the files and getting up to date with her side of the paperwork. Though not without glancing back to him again and finding him standing where she left him, with those his eyes that lit up when he laughed.

She rushed down to the doctors lounge as soon as she was finished with the paperwork to grab the lunch she had brought from home, she figured she wouldn't have time to order anything before she would be noticed missing in cardiology. Ethan and Natalie were crowded around a computer screen analysing test results when she hurried in.

"Hey Sarah. How's the first day going?" Ethan asked, looking around to her.

She stopped to take a breath, "Okay, I think. All things considered." She tried to smile. She really did.

"That bad huh?"

She sighed, "Kind of, I just need to get used to it."

"Oh by the way Sarah, that box was left for you a few minutes ago." Natalie said, pointing to the small white box that had been left on one of the tables.

"Oh." She racked her brain but couldn't remember ordering anything, or anyone mentioning delivering anything. It was about the size of a cake box. She smiled in excitement, maybe Joey had sent those flowers after all. She went over and lifted the lid carefully.

The contents definitely surprised her. Sat inside was a garden salad. Her pick of lunch from the food truck the day Connor had bought everyone lunch. A piece of paper sat on top. She picked and up and read the writing that was on it.

 _This is just a reminder that you can still get whatever_ _ **you**_ _want. You got yourself that residency._

 _I've heard the staff gossip, don't pay it any attention._

 _Enjoy the salad._

 _Connor._


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah figured she could page him, but would that be too weird? She could get his phone number off one of the other staff, but she decided that would be too much. She ended up debating the methods of communications with _Connor_ Rhodes for the rest of her shift. She had eaten the salad in record time but stored the note in her locker. Just as a reminder that she had him on her side.

Luckily she didn't have any more run-ins with Kate. She met a few of the other residents and fellows from the department who dropped by to introduce themselves. They all seemed rather wary of her, but Sarah chose to ignore it, hoping everyone would move onto a new topic of conversation soon enough. The rest of her shift went as smoothly as she could hope, she even got praise from Jennie, Maggie's equivalent, and told not to worry that "most people on this floor, their bark is worse than their bite."

Sarah sure hoped so.

She dragged herself back down to get her things from the lounge and couldn't wait to crawl into bed when she got home. She nearly bumped into Connor when she walked into the room, her body was exhausted already.

"Connor, sorry!" She blurted out.

"Hey there." She watched a smile stretch across his face and he placed his hands at her shoulders to steady her. "How did the rest of your day go?"

For a split second she couldn't think, she couldn't gather her thoughts. Her mind blamed her tiredness but her heart blamed the fact that he was looking at her and his hands were holding her up. She cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to rid her heart of _those_ thoughts.

"Eh, it was okay. I avoided Dr Geraghty for the rest of the day, so it went as well as it could have gone." She shrugged. And with her actions, he removed his hands. She immediately missed the contact.

"Thanks for lunch by the way." She couldn't help but smile.

"Anytime. I meant what I wrote. They'll move onto something else eventually." He rolled his eyes and gave her a small smile.

"Hey Reese!" Will greeted her as soon as he emerged from the changing rooms. "How was the first day?"

"Good. I think?"

Both men laughed. "Sounds about right for a first day." Will said. "Hey, some of us are going to Mollys tonight, you coming? Or do you have a hot date with that lab boyfriend of yours?"

"I'll see you around." Connor interrupted and waved his hand in farewell before leaving suddenly.

"Bye…" She said as he left before turning back to Will, "No, thanks though, I just can't wait to get some sleep." She admitted.

"I completely get it. But hey any night you feel like it, somebody will be around." He smiled. He frowned as he tied his shoe laces. "So Maggie and I are working on those rumours by the way..." He seemed reluctant to broach the subject.

"What?" She should have guessed the gossip would have got around Med by now, her shoulders slumped in defeat, and she sank into the nearest chair. "It sure isn't the best way to start..."

"Nah, it's bad form, you should be able to rely on your colleagues, not have them talking like that about you behind your back like that."

"It's when they talk about it nearly in front of my face that's worse." She admitted.

"Well they shouldn't use gossip as a reason not to work with you properly." He patted her shoulder. "I'll catch you around Reese."

She waved to him too. And then got changed as quickly as she could and when getting her bag, she rooted out some sticky tape and stuck Connor's note to the inside of the locker door. She figured she could use all the inspiration she could get.

* * *

The next few shifts flew by quickly. A blur of patients, avoiding Kate and Dr Kingston, and getting to know some of the nurses in cardiology. She even went to lunch with some of them. They had divulged to her that Maggie had let them know her situation wasn't the way that some of the doctors were telling it. After that lunch she rushed down to Maggie and hugged her.

She had to work with the other residents that treated her with a slightly icy demeanour but they took her opinions on-board, if not begrudgingly, but she was content to be listened to.

She lost two patients in that first week. Something that she knew would hit her hard every time it happened. It was something she couldn't talk to Joey about. She felt it would be an "I told you so" moment, that he would tell her again that she was too soft to work in cardiology and that pathology was safer. She knew he wouldn't understand.

That was how she found herself having a coffee with Connor before her shifts. She found they were both early birds and she found being able to talk to him, to bounce ideas off each other, helped to calm her every morning.

Connor had her in stitches laughing while in the middle of explaining the fact that he had bought Will a tie when Kate Geraghty walked into the lounge.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to _interrupt_." She scoffed before heading straight for the changing rooms.

"Is there a problem Dr Geraghty?" Connor's demeanour changed in an instant. From being relaxed and having laughing eyes to a serious, slightly ticked off expression. His cold tone was sharp enough to cut through the air of awkwardness that had settled in the room.

"Oh not at all, how people spend their time is none of my business." She said just before disappearing behind the door.

She watched as his eyes had darkened and he shook his head and set his jaw. "Unbelievable."

"Yeah…" She sighed just before his pager beeped, splitting the silence that now sat between them.

He excused himself and Sarah left the lounge before Geraghty could come back.

She had had a patient before lunch that she had needed a consult from Dr Charles on and had to delay the lunch she had organised for herself and Joey. She finally made it to the canteen afterwards where she found him finishing his lunch.

"I am _so_ sorry I'm late." She said as she slid into the seat opposite him, slightly out of breath from rushing down to see him. "How has your day been?"

"Great." He deadpanned and she nearly flinched at his sarcasm. "I haven't seen you in a week Sarah." He said as he fixed his glasses on his face.

"I know. I'm sorry. But things have been so hectic…"

"I mean you're finally working in the same place as me again and I see less of you than I did when you worked in the coffee shop."

That annoyed her, "But I'm just getting used to everything here…Are you saying I should go back and work in a coffee shop?"

"I never said that." He defended himself.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just this week I've been listening to things I don't want to hear, and I'm just tired" She sighed, "…residency is a big jump from being a student." She tried to lighten the conversation to no avail.

"I made the jump, it wasn't that hard. Sarah you took a residency you hadn't even wanted to match with, you can't expect it to be easy." He said, getting up and picking up his tray.

"I never said it would be easy. Joey, you know I always had an interest in cardiology. When my Dad had his heart attack, that's how I knew I wanted to be a doctor, I never thought I was cut out for it, but I'm learning to do it, even if everybody in cardiology doesn't believe in me…" She followed him as he cleared off his food tray.

"Well I hear you don't have that problem with Dr Rhodes right?" He asked but wouldn't meet her eyes.

" _What_ is that supposed to mean?" She couldn't believe her ears. Had her boyfriend seriously been putting stock in some idle gossip?

"I hear things, did he seriously pull some strings for you? And there's worse rumours going around. Everyone is talking about you two."

"Well don't listen to everyone!" She followed him as he started back towards pathology department.

"Well it would easier if you worked with me…"

"I can't be attached to your hip Joey. I love what I'm doing, why can't you get that?"

"You complain an awful lot about something you love. I still think you made a mistake. Pathology would have suited you."

"Well I think it wouldn't have."

"Well I think it _would_ have." He said as he pushed the button for the elevator.

"Is this how it's going to be? Can't you just let pathology go? I have! Is this seriously how it's going to be with us? Just because I don't want your career, it means you're going to hold it over my head forever?"

"I thought I knew you before." He said. "Now the new you hangs out with the ED staff and a doctor that everyone thinks you're secretly dating and you want to work in cardiology and the ED and then get all worked up about cases and patients and complain about it all the time. I just want the old you back. The one who loved lab work and didn't hang out with ED staff who think they're better than us in Pathology"

"They don't think that!"

"You obviously do, that's why you turned it down wasn't it? Pathology isn't a big of a deal as ED."

"No it's not! I'm sorry I've changed. But people do that. I'm not that bad…?"

"The old you wouldn't have missed our lunch either." He said as he got into the elevator and pushed the button on the inside. "I would say I'll call or text you later, but you never answer me after your shifts anymore." He said as the doors closed between them.

She stood there, staring at the metal doors as her heart ached in her chest. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying and tried to compose herself before she fell apart in the hospital corridor. That was not the lunch break she had been expecting. She felt like rushing after him and apologising and explaining _again_ that after her shifts she either fell straight to sleep or that she always felt like she couldn't call him afterwards, especially the days she lost patients, because he had always slightly chastised her for getting too involved and attached. And after a trying shift the last thing she wanted was another _pathology is better_ speech.

She took the stairs back up to cardiology as she tried to push all thoughts of Joey from her mind. She knew that the last thing she needed when she was trying to fit in and still learning the ropes was to be distracted. She smiled to the nurses that she thought were beginning to like her when Dr Geraghty rounded the corner.

"Reese. There you are." She said in a clipped tone. "Dr Kingston wants you to shadow me in surgery in thirty-five minutes. It's a routine operation. Try not to mess up." She practically threw the file at Sarah before she rushed off again.

Sarah went straight to Jennie to see if she could tweak her roster while she was in surgery but Jennie was already on it and even wished Sarah luck. She set herself up in the lounge to study the file as if her own life depended on the surgery. It seemed straight forward enough, it was a low risk patient who needed a coronary artery bypass. The only thing that confused her was the long list of doctors and nurses that would be assisting and the length of time that was scheduled in for it. She wasn't going to argue about it though. Once she could get through it, her shift would be finished and she could get out of Med and try to make sense of what was going on with her and Joey.

Ethan and Will wished her luck from where they were debating over a patients test results on the computer near her before she set off to prove herself. To prove that she could deal with a live body after all.

It was a blur of washing her hands and setting up beside the patient. She was absorbing all the information she could before letting out a breath she didn't realise that she was holding when the bypass was complete. She picked up the stitching that was lying in front of her. Nobody else had spoken about it but the longer they kept the patient open the more chance of complications.

"Dr Reese? What's next?" Dr Kingston asked her. He had bounced ideas back and forth between the younger residents and she got the impression that he would make a great mentor if he would give her a chance.

"We start closing up…" She started to formulate her answer, holding out the stitching in front of her.

She immediately wanted the ground to swallow her up when she suddenly found him glaring back at her.

"I'm sorry?" Sarah felt like the room was closing in around her. The sounds from the machines in the room started ringing in her ears.

"We…We should stitch…"

"I'm sorry, but where did you learn that during a quintuple coronary artery bypass, after finishing the first one, we should _start closing up_ anything?"

"The patient was down as needing only one bypass, if it's a quintuple we need to…" But he cut her off again.

"Next time Dr Reese, please read the most up to date patient file. Dr Allen?" Her question was taken from her and the attention moved on to someone else. She couldn't believe it. Her cheeks felt red from embarrassment at failing at attempt to prove herself and she was angry at Dr Geraghty for giving her the wrong information. She didn't like jumping to conclusions, but she had a niggling suspicion that she had been set up.

She waited outside the theatre after the surgery to catch Dr Kingston and explain herself. She could have groaned in frustration when Dr Geraghty followed him out.

"Dr Kingston…." She stopped him in his path, "I'm sorry about my mistake, it won't happen again. But I didn't know I was given the wrong information…"

"It better not happen again Dr Reese. You're residency is an exception to the norm, I expected you to live up to the second chance you were given."

"I understand, I do, but I wasn't told…" She tried to protest.

"Don't drag my name into this Reese." Geraghty nearly sneered. "I never said the information was up to date. You should have known by the names on the roster and the time allocated."

"But I trusted you as my mentor. I didn't want to question your information."

"I'm not Rhodes, I won't hand you everything on a silver platter. Some of us had to work for our positions, not sleep our way into them."

Sarah felt like she had been slapped. She wondered how anyone could think things like that about her. Her day just kept getting worse.

"Doctors!" Dr Kingston stepped in. "I do not tolerate petty behaviour like this on my watch. I expect everyone to work together. You either start acting like a team or I will make you leave this cardiology team."

Sarah felt like her heart jumped to her throat. She couldn't lose her position. She couldn't prove Joey right that she wasn't cut out for cardiology.

"Dr Reese, you can get your Ambulance shift rotation over early this year. Next shift report to the available ambulance crew and it will allow you both some time to cool off. When you return I expect both of you..." He glared at Sarah and Kate. "To forget these ridiculous attitudes and work together. Go home."

The two girls were left in the corridor watching Dr Kingston walk away.

Kate left Sarah with one more glare before stalking off to the elevator. Sarah took the stairs again.

She gave up all longings to go home and set herself up in the lounge in front of one of the computers and opened some of the books and notebooks she kept in her locker and got to work. Whenever she felt stressed or worried, she always found that textbooks and information distracted her. She set out a list to go over everything and anything about quintuple bypasses to make up for her lack of preparation and then to check off topics that she felt she would need for ambulance duty. She bid goodnight to April and Nat when they left but she got into her study zone, turned her phone off and hoped Joey would understand.

* * *

"Sarah." She could have sworn somebody was saying her name.

"Sarah…hey wake up." Her head shot up from the desk when the words registered and she ended up glancing blearily into Connor Rhodes concerned face.

"What?" She nearly cried from panic and the headache she could feel coming on. "What time is it? Have I missed my shift? Oh God…" She rubbed at her face and glanced around at the books that were scattered in front of her and the bright screen that glared back at her.

"Hey, hey." His soft words along with the fact that he was rubbing circles on her back managed to bring her back from the brink of nearly hyperventilating. "It's alright. I just finished an emergency surgery, so shift ended about an hour and half ago. What are you still doing here?"

"I…I messed up. Geraghty, I don't know, I think she tried to make me mess up. I should have been more prepared. It's my fault. And now I have an ambulance rotation next shift. Kingston expects us to get along from now on and I wasn't good enough. And Joey says I can't be so emotional about everything. And if I hear someone mention pathology again…Oh my God I missed my bus!" She shot up from her chair with the realisation and nearly knocked Connor over from where he was hunkered over beside her.

"Sarah." He said as he stood up and held her wrists loosely in his hands. "Don't worry about your bus, I'll drive you home. And don't try to argue about it. One thing at a time, just pack up your stuff, I'll go change and then I'll drop you home. And for the record, you'll do great on ambulance okay?" He said and she couldn't remember ever being as close to him before. All she wanted to do was place her head on his shoulder and have him hug her. Recently, he just seemed to make everything better.

She managed to nod in agreement despite nearly getting lost in his eyes.

She found herself in his car a little while later, giving him directions to her house that she shared with three other girls. He had her talk through what went wrong with the surgery and it wasn't until after she had finished that she realised how much she had needed to vent.

"Some days are tougher than others." He said as she rested her head back against the seat.

She even managed to get him to open up about his day, something she knew from their coffees in the mornings that he didn't do too often. It made her smile a little to think that he might trust her as much as she trusted him.

The traffic was pretty heavy but she found herself not minding in the slightest. He even made her laugh, it was like they were in a little bubble that her bad day couldn't get into. She told him about her family that she missed and he even opened up about the trouble he had always had with his Dad. It was their own little bubble, one that when he pulled up to her house, she really didn't want to get out of.

"Thanks again, Connor." She smiled as she undid her seat belt.

"Anytime, Sarah." Between their close proximity, the intensity in his eyes and the fact that he always seemed to actually _care_ about her, she felt butterflies erupt in her stomach and felt that same electricity buzzing around them again.

She reluctantly got out of the car and made her way to her front door. He waited while she unlocked it and waved back to him that she was fine. She watched him drive away into the night. It felt like watching the one good thing in her entire day escape from her grasp.

As she stood there, she tried to pretend that she hadn't wanted him to walk her to her door. And then she tried to pretend that she hadn't wanted him to kiss her goodnight.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning Sarah got up with the plan to sort things out with Joey. He was her boyfriend and she felt like she owed him to try and work through their problems. That, and the fact that suddenly things with Connor were reaching intensity levels she never knew about, and it scared her a little. Joey answered her call, which she assumed was a good sign, but when she told him that she would be on ambulance duty for the day and she got another, _you wouldn't have to do that in pathology_ speech.

"Joey." she sighed, "I can't keep having this conversation. I chose to quit pathology, and I'm sorry it has disappointed you but you have to accept that I'm in cardiology now. Can you not be happy for me?" She felt like she was practically pleading with him.

"Not when you're hanging around with _who_ you hang around with."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her head hurt from going around in circles _again_.

"I used to think you were smart and sensible. But now you get upset over patients and the work you do, and then want to complain about it when it was you who put yourself in the position in the first place."

"I don't want to keep fighting Joey, maybe we should take a break, take a few days to..."

"Maybe we should just break up."

"What?" She couldn't believe her ears.

"It's easier that way, I've been thinking recently that you're not the Sarah I fell for anymore anyway."

They hung up a few minutes later and Sarah sat staring at her wall. It stung, it was like being slapped. But she couldn't help but think that it wasn't a bad thing that she had changed. That she had grown. She wasn't going to regret being herself.

She shoved everything that reminded her of Joey into her closet and made herself get ready for her day. She needed to be prepared. She couldn't help but feel excited to get back into emergency medicine again. She was ready and near Maggie's desk by the time that Connor had entered the building and he smiled and nodded to her on his way past.

"Good luck today."

"Thanks." She responded with the brightest smile she could fake. Heartache hurt.

"Sarah, is something wrong?" He grabbed her arm lightly, it didn't take much persuasion for her to turn back to him. She wondered how he could read her so well, how he could tell that something was wrong.

"Just." She shrugged and found herself at a loss for words. "Something happened, that I didn't expect, I guess." She frowned at the floor.

He folded his arms, pursed his lips and nearly examined her like a patient, "Sometimes unexpected things can be good. Change can be good."

Well, she thought, that was an entirely different view than her now ex-boyfriend's one.

Change.

That was what was happening in her life, ever since she started her rotation in Med, changing her career aspirations, changing her mind, changing her opinion of herself, changing her relationships.

And when she met his eyes, all she could think of was that _everything_ had changed. And while looking at him, she supposed it wasn't such a bad thing after all.

She made her way over to Maggie's desk when he excused himself, "We've missed you down here. Ah you're in luck, ambulance 61 is just arriving now. You know Gabby Dawson and Sylvie Brett right?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, I've seen them at Molly's..." Sarah decided any friendly faces she recognized was what she needed today.

"Oh yeah, they're great, and they know what they're doing, you're in good hands." Maggie said, "There they are now." She said as she looked over Sarah's shoulder, "Talk to me..." She rushed out behind the desk as April and Will appeared out of nowhere while Dawson and Brett wheeled in the trolley. She nearly rushed after them on instinct.

She gathered the bag she had packed, emergency cardiology equipment, just to be sure and found Dawson and Brett filling out paperwork when she came back.

"Hi guys." She approached them, "I'm the doctor who rides with you this shift, I hope that's okay...?" It was still hard to be confident in herself when her ex-boyfriend had just dumped her for being herself.

"Hey! Sarah isn't it?" Brett smiled.

"Yeah, I, eh, I used to be a medical student here so this is my first ambulance shift..."

"Don't worry about it. We got the emergency thing down, you just got to help us with the patients like you normally would Sarah." Dawson finished the paperwork and smiled over to her.

Their first call was a case of an addict overdosing. Sarah was amazed by how the two paramedics reacted, she thought it was one thing to treat a patient in the ED with all the resources but a whole other thing to treat patients in the field with limited supplies. Sarah helped them restrain the patient and didn't even think twice about starting a line. Between Maggie and Connor, she had got over her initial apprehensions of the procedure.

They were back to Med before Sarah knew it and she helped them to wheel in the trolley while Brett went to restock. Ethan and April took the patient after they had moved him to the bed and Dawson had to remind her not to continue with treating the patient.

"With us, remember?" She smiled as Sarah followed her back out to the bay.

"Yeah, sorry, it's a reflex at this stage."

"Tell me about it, I keep trying to run into burning buildings. I'm a firefighter but things got switched around so I'm acting as a paramedic again."

"That sounds something like me, ED student, got matched with pathology, now I'm working in cardiology. Change is a thing for me now, I used to love monotony."

"Change can make life can get complicated sometimes, but it's half the fun and I like to think everything turns out alright in the end." She smiled.

The day passed by pretty quickly, in a blur of the rush of chasing off to find patients and getting to know the two paramedics. It was around lunch time, after two more calls that Sarah nearly started to think she liked it better than her first week in cardiology. But she knew it was just a rough introduction, she hoped things would settle down in her career soon enough. And besides, she thought, she wouldn't get to see Connor everyday if she didn't work in Med.

It was when _that_ thought popped into her head that she realized that she hadn't thought of Joey since the morning. He had hurt her, underestimated her, and even though her heart would be bruised, it wasn't quite broken. She knew she could never quite giver her heart to someone that didn't support her, that didn't believe her or believe in her. She figured if ambulance duty could distract her for the rest of her shift, then ice-cream and curling up on her couch should be good start to help her bruised heart recover.

The next call was sent in over the radio, not far from the hosiptal and Sarah braced herself for the worst, a hit and run with a pedestrian down. Her adrenaline kicked in immediately, before she even caught a glimpse of the accident. It was chaos. A crowd of people, police and firefighters milling around the street. But she felt that familiar pull in her stomach to go and help. She followed the two paramedics out of the rig and around to where the pedestrian was in the middle of the street.

"What do we got?" Dawson asked as they approached the victim who was lying under the care of a few of the firefighters.

"Drunk hit and run. We think the driver hit up onto the curb and this woman got hit the worst, flew at least fifty feet after being hit, we were trying to stop the bleeding from the impact but ..."

"Right." Dawson just nodded as Brett and Reese hunkered down by the patient.

It was only when Sarah went to check for a pulse that she realized who was lying in front of her.

Dr Geraghty.

She suddenly felt a lot more involved, she couldn't have the woman die. She couldn't bear it if it was on her. They might not see eye to eye, and Sarah was intent on setting the record straight with her but she would never wish the woman this type of injury. It was bad. Suspected broken leg, at least a few ribs, abrasion to the head and that was just the visible damage.

"Kate, can you hear me?"

"You know her?" Dawson asked.

All Sarah could do was nod. She felt nearly overwhelmed by grief and regret, because she couldn't have the woman die in her arms when they still weren't on good terms. She forced herself to push her emotions away as best she could, she had a job to do.

The three women got to work, pushing IVs and pulling a stint around Kate's leg, bandaging up her head as best they could, but she was losing more blood than they could stop. When they pushed back the bloodied clothes, they found that her ribs had fractured the skin and her around her heart, she was bleeding out.

"She's going to need emergency surgery, we can't do anymore here." Brett said, pressing on the open wounds around her side. "Her pulse is weakening, we're losing her..."

"We don't have time to move her, she won't make it to Med." Dawson frowned, "Dammit. Reese, how's her chest looking, anyway we can relieve the pressure here, just long enough to get her to surgery?"

"I...it looks like an aortic aneurysm, there is something, I've never done it before though, I'm not allowed to perform it by myself, but..."

"How long will it buy us?" Dawson asked.

"Fifteen minutes, eighteen tops, it needs to be operated as soon as possible, this is only the start of it. I mean I could try but I'd need ..."

"Dawson, I don't think we're authorized to..." Brett tried to intervene.

"She's bleeding out, we need to buy her some time." Dawson remained adamant but it only caused Reese to worry.

"I'm not authorized to perform surgery by myself, I'd need permission and direction...what if I mess up?"

"Sarah. She's going to die here or on the way, if we don't try something." Dawson said. "Let's do it, there's no way we can move her now and its too far for the equipment to come...you haven't got a surgeon on speed dial Reese? I'm all up for breaking rules, but Brett needs you to get whatever clearance you need."

She could have cried with relief when it hit her, of course she did. She searched for his number and pressed call before she could think twice.

"Sarah, you okay?" The worry in his voice penetrated through the loud speaker on her phone and it warmed her own heart a little.

"Hey, eh..." She glanced around and rolled up her sleeves, "Dr Rhodes..." she knew that if using his formal name didn't convey the seriousness of the scenario than nothing would. "I'm going to need permission to start an endoaneurysmorrhaphy right now, I have a female patient in front of me, severe road traffic accident with an aneurysm caused by a broken rib, I'm going to need to start clamping it now..."

She heard him catch his breath and could nearly hear him thinking. "There's no way you can move her?"

"No, I'm the PCI, we need to do this now or we lose her." Dawson cut in. "She's one of yours too, a Dr Geraghty."

"You need to move her straight away, you come straight here you understand, this is major surgery"

"That won't be a problem."

"Okay Dr Reese, we're going to go ahead and I'm going to talk you through it." He said, and she could nearly hear the cogs turning in his head.

"Okay, talk to me, what do you see?" He asked as Sarah zoned out the world around her and tried to borrow Kate Geraghty a few minutes.

She told him what she saw, adding extra notes that she knew were important and she decided if anyone was to ever talk her through an operation again, the only person she would want to do it, was Connor. His voice was calm and collected and sounded like it always did when he worked with her; like he believed in her abilities and knew she could get the work done.

There was a few almost mishaps, where Connor would have to pause and tell her she could do it, Sarah could feel sweat gathering at her brow from concentrating so hard, and she had to collect herself a few times during the altogether quick procedure.

"Okay, hold that there, do you think you can keep it stable enough for me?" He asked. She was in a haze filled with adrenaline and his voice, she nearly told him that she would do anything for him.

"Yeah, it's good. We're on our way." She nodded to Brett to turn off her phone and start the ambulance. Dawson beckoned some of the remaining firefighters to help them lift the gurney into the ambulance and Sarah was pretty sure they left in record time.

"How much longer Dawson?" Brett asked from where she sat with Sarah in the back, keeping Geraghty as stable as was possible.

"Two minutes out, she's got ten minutes to get into the OR." Sarah felt like it was the longest two minutes of her life.

They finally stopped and got the doors open, they were careful handling Kate onto a trolley while Sarah kept her hands in place over the tubing that was keeping Geraghty's heart beating. She spotted Connor immediately, along with April, Maggie and Will, it was the first time she had seen someone bypass the ED. Sarah rushed along with the trolley, while Brett called out the stats and they rolled straight to the elevator. Sarah gave her side of the procedure as Kate was strapped up to more machines en route.

Just before getting into the elevator she caught a glimpse of Joey in the corridor. She cringed, she wondered what she must look like. She had to be covered in blood and sweat. But the heart under her hearts was still beating, and she reminded herself that that was all that mattered. That this type of medicine was her life now. And she wasn't going to regret it.

"Dr Reese, let go." She was so focused on watching Kate's face for any sign of movement that she zoned out while they rushed towards the theatre. Dr Kingston's words cut through the haze.

"Sorry." She flinched, thinking that it was another mark against her name, another reason for her to be considered not good enough for the department.

"It's alright, let Dr Farrell take over now." She looked over to the older doctor that gave her a reassuring nod and gently took over the hold. "We're moving now. Reese, take a breather."

Sarah then found herself left in the corridor while the trolley was pushed through the doors. Connor was rushing through to the doors where the other doctors disappeared behind to scrub in for the operation when he turned back and gave Sarah a nod.

She didn't know how long she had been standing there before Maggie arrived at her side. "Hey Sarah, why don't you go get cleaned up? I'll take you off ambulance duty if you want…?"

"No." She shook her head. "No, but thanks Maggie, I don't think I can wait around, I can do a few more calls. I can't sit around here, that's my mentor in there, we didn't get along, but I…" She managed to stop herself from crying, though her hands were still shaking, and managed a smile at Maggie.

Maggie agreed to let her back on duty after Sarah had changed her clothes and scrubbed her hands raw and promised to let her know when the operation was over.

They got a few more calls in during the hours that the surgery required, they had just dropped off another patient when Maggie let her that the surgery was over. She told her that Dr Kingston had agreed to let her off the rest of her ambulance service and after she had said her goodbyes to Dawson and Brett, and promised to meet them in Molly's sometime, she rushed up to the ICU where Kate was being transferred to.

She nearly bumped into Dr Kingston in the hallway on the way there.

"Ah Dr Reese." He said, "Dr Geraghty has been placed in her room, the team are there with her now. The surgery went as well as could be expected." At that Sarah let out the breath she had been holding. "Dr Rhodes filled me in, you did well Dr Reese. I'm impressed. Not many doctors of your experience could do what you did. It saved her life. Take some time off Dr, you deserve it." He nodded and she just stood in the corridor and watched him leave in utter shock. Was she just praised? She felt like pinching herself. She just wished she didn't have to earn it under such dire circumstances.

She reached the room where two nurses were checking Dr Geraghty vitals while Connor read the files. She paused at the door, only entering when Connor looked up and saw her standing outside and beckoned her in.

"Hey, it went well." He nodded to himself while looking at Dr Geraghty.

"Yeah Dr Kingston told me." She said in quiet tones.

"You…" He seemed to search for his words, "You did amazing, Sarah."

"I only did what you told me to do." She half shrugged, her shoulder hit his arm from where she stood beside him.

"Don't sell yourself short. It was a great job." She let his compliments settle over her like a warm blanket.

His pager beeped, "I'm needed back up in surgery, but I'll call back around later. We'll have to wait until she wakes up to be sure of how she is. You don't have to go back to work…?"

She appreciated the worry that suddenly lined his face, "No, Kingston let me off for a while, I think I'll wait here, until her family is contacted. I know I wouldn't like to be alone after something like that."

She set herself up in one of the two chairs that sat beside Kate's bed and decided she better get comfortable, Maggie had said her family were still about five hours out. Sarah might have been still annoyed at Kate's attitude, she just hoped the woman would wake up well enough that Sarah could set her story straight, that they could put this horrible beginning behind them and work as a team.

Doctors and nurses milled in an out like clockwork. Sarah stayed where she was, even as the lights were lowered and curtains pulled. Her evening brightened a little when Connor came in to sit beside her, already in his normal clothes after his shift, but wanting to stay with her anyway.

"Any update?" He asked in quiet tones, a gentle sound that she wanted to hear more of. He seemed to soften whenever they were alone, just slightly, like he was leaving down his armor that he wore while working.

"No." She responded, turning her head to face him instead. "I may not have liked her all that much after what she did, but I wouldn't want this for anybody."

"Sarah, this is not your fault." He said, "You did the best any of us could have done." He leaned over nearer to make sure she could hear him.

"Thanks." She said, but she couldn't help but stare at their hands that rested beside each other on the arms of the chairs. They were suddenly so close, facing right at each other and she swore his eyes had never looked prettier. "Thanks for being there." And she meant it.

It felt like magnetism, like something was drawing her to him. Maybe it was the fact that he was always there for her lately, or the fact that he had been able to help her through the day, or maybe it was just the fact that he was Connor. All handsome, intelligent, strong and a mystery she enjoyed trying to solve. But she suddenly found herself mere inches from him.

She could smell the cologne he used, the one that made butterflies flutter in her stomach and made her want to wrap herself up in his arms all at the one time. It was exciting, and comforting, just like him. She wasn't sure who was moving, but she knew that if she moved ever so slightly she could brush her lips against his.

It could have been seconds, or it could have been hours, it was like everything was in slow motion, and sped up, all at once. He was intoxicating and beautiful and he cared about her and she could nearly feel his lips on hers when the door to the room swung open.

They jumped apart slightly, and while they were still physically close, Sarah suddenly felt there had never been more space between them.

* * *

 _AN:_

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you are enjoying the story! I would love to know what you think._

 _Just to note that I'm pretending the doctors have to do an ambulance shift, like Dr Choi did one before, and I just loved an excuse to include other One Chicago characters._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was like her entire universe turned upside down the moment the door opened. She suddenly found herself feeling like she was a million miles away from the man who sat next to her. He was on his feet in an instant, explaining the surgery the best he could to Dr Geraghty's family. She sat motionless while he did, unable to think coherently or get all her emotions back in check.

She glanced up but she couldn't catch his eye anymore. It felt like he was already gone, and there was already a void forming in her life. He left soon afterwards, and she followed suit, but by the time that she had gotten to the corridor, he had disappeared.

Regret. Longing. Pain. An onslaught of emotions seemed to flood over her where she stood. Her head was sore, from a day of break-ups and medical emergencies, but her heart was sore as well, from being so suddenly deserted.

She made her way back down to the doctor's lounge to grab her stuff and make her way home. She checked her phone. No calls or texts from Joey. He had already given up trying to contact her, given up caring already. And she had a horrible feeling in her stomach that she had just ruined everything with Connor. He was her friend, her biggest supporter and now everything felt like it was going down in flames, before she had a chance to figure out what it all was.

"Hey Sarah, are you okay?" Natalie asked from the computers.

"Uh huh." Sarah felt like she couldn't even form words, her mind was too boggled.

"I heard your ambulance shift wasn't easy, and what you did out there? It sounded pretty great."

Sarah turned to face her locker and nodded while tears welled up and her chest hurt from trying not to sob. He had helped her though it and apparently she had just insulted him. Suddenly, everything had a way of coming back around to Connor.

"Hey, is everything okay?" She could hear Natalie standing up and crossing the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She tried to sound convincing but her sniffles were saying otherwise.

"No you're not." Natalie said softly, coming to stand beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I am _so_ stupid."

"Sarah you're anything but stupid." She guided her back over to the chairs, "Come on, sit down and tell me what happened."

"My boyfriend broke up with me this morning, my mentor that hates me lay dying in my hands and now I've messed up everything with Connor." She took the tissue Natalie offered her. "I'm so sorry, this must all seem so petty. You work the same job, and you have a child and my problems are probably nothing in comparison…"

"Hey, everyone has problems. You're more than allowed a bad day, okay?"

Sarah wondered if she could have any worse timing because Connor decided that would be the moment to enter the room.

He didn't even smile, he didn't say her name, and he didn't even acknowledge her. And it hurt. It hurt so much. He made a beeline straight for the bathrooms. He didn't even see the tears on her face.

"Okay, what on earth happened between you two?" Natalie broke the resounding silence that filled the room. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm nearly finished this case, you are coming over to my house, and I'm bringing April and Maggie and we are going to eat too much ice cream, and you're going to tell us all about the break up and then you can put this day behind you."

It was times like this that Sarah remembered how much she loved Med, loved the ED and the people she called family.

"That." She said while rubbing her nose and drying her tears, "Sounds a lot better than moping around on my own." She even managed to crack a small smile.

"Reese, there you are!" Will stuck his head in the door, "Glad I caught you, Goodwin is looking for you in her office before she goes home. She's looking for Connor too, you haven't seen him around have you?"

She was beginning to think that she saw Connor too much lately if this was what it felt like to be separated from him. Her heart hurt. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

"I'll let him know when he comes out from where he's hiding." Natalie said and Will watched her expression. Sarah had the overwhelming feeling of needing to leave before Will would catch on to Natalie's meaning. She got up, thanked Will, and made her way up to Goodwin's office.

Her heart was pounding in her chest. What if she was fired for carrying out the surgery herself? Banned from medicine? What would her family say? What would she do? She had so many panicked thoughts flying around her head that twisted into a ball of dread that made her head pound. Sarah thought it would be a toss up of reasons of why she was going to be fired.

Sure, she knew she was being dramatic and somewhat irrational, but her heart hadn't stopped thumping in her chest and her blood hadn't stopped humming Connor's name since they had very nearly kissed. She put it down to the fact that she assumed nobody would be able to think straight after being _that_ close to Dr Rhodes. And that he had been the only good part of her day so far, it was nice to think nice things before her dreams would go up in smoke. Again.

By the time she ahd made it to Goodwin's office, she had narrowed down the options for being dismissed, she would place money on there being too any rumours about herself and Dr Rhodes or her making the decision to operate on Kate under such dire circumstances.

She knocked on the door and Ms Goodwin beckoned her inside.

"Dr Reese, take a seat."

She wondered if she was going to be the first resident that would be fired within a month, the operation was hardly allowed on the ground was it? If Kate died...Sarah swallowed, it would be her fault. Joey's doubts seemed to play out in the back of her mind, maybe she wasn't cut out for this.

She just nodded and sat down, and hoped that it didn't look too obvious that she had been crying.

"I just wanted...Ah, Dr Rhodes, please take a seat." Ms Goodwin said when she noticed Connor at the door. Sarah heard his soft footsteps pace across the room to sit in the seat beside her. She thought that he might as well be miles away than sat beside her because he didn't even acknowledge her existence.

"Ms Goodwin, what can I do for you?" He asked.

"Oh I think it's more like you and Dr Reese did..." Ms Goodwin said and the only thought that swam around Sarah's head was that not fifteen minutes ago, the thing that had been doing was nearly kissing each other. They had nearly changed everything. It felt like they had been racing towards the edge of a cliff. Everything had been building only for her to be knocked back and now she didn't know where she stood with him.

"I may not condone un-orthodox procedures and care that may harm my patients, but what you two did today was something that I admire. I'm glad to know we have doctors like you on our staff. And what you did, it took a lot of trust, we're fortunate to have teams like you here. After all, a hospital is only going to work well if we can all work well together. I don't like admitting when I'm wrong..." She smiled, despite herself, "...but I think that you and Dr Rhodes were right, Dr Reese, pathology wouldn't have suited you. Now don't go getting big heads about it, I just like to acknowledge a job well done."

They both thanked her and Connor let her out the door first. Sarah felt like she was walking on air. She had been congratulated, not fired.

She wasn't afraid to say that she loitered outside in the hallway, waiting for Connor to come out. He had been the one good thing about her day, and she wanted to put things straight. She didn't need to complicate things further. But she could have sworn that he had been leaning towards her as much as she had to him.

"Connor..." She caught him as he left. "About earlier, I'm..."

"Dr Reese, I've had a long day, I don't have time to talk, I have to get home." His armour was well and truly intact. Even on her first day, even when he didn't know who she was, he had never dismissed her quite so much. Had never pushed her away. And it felt like he could snap her heart in his hands if he wanted to.

But she wasn't going to stand and take it, she had a long day too. "Connor, look, what happened, or didn't happen earlier..."

"We're work colleagues, Dr Reese. We work together. That's all." He said, his words cutting through her, and left before she could gather her thoughts.

She finally realised, watching him walk away, that maybe she didn't just want to be his colleague anymore, what if she didn't just want to work together? But it hardly mattered, he was gone. She had been rejected, or had insulted him in some way and all she could think of was that Connor cutting ties with her hurt a lot more than when Joey did it.

* * *

After wallowing to Natalie, Maggie and April about Joey, after having a day off where she put away everything that reminded herself of their relationship, after letting herself cry because she had really cared about him, she started to feel better about it all. They had fallen for each other, but at least she knew now that they were never going to able to grow together. Her heart had taken a bruising, so she threw herself into her work, and it helped.

But nothing she did could make her feel better about things with Connor. She missed their morning coffees, the consults where they would bounce ideas around instead of him giving monotone answers, she even missed him calling her Sarah. He was avoiding her at all costs. Suddenly they were like strangers, something they never had been since his first day when he had asked her who she was. They had just clicked. And now it felt like she was missing a small piece of her heart.

She checked in on Kate every day, to keep herself from going mad in the mornings with no one else to hang around with anymore. It wasn't until 6 days later that the woman woke up, and another 4 until she was alert and responsive. It would be a while before she would be back to her old self, and a lot of rest and recuperation would be needed before she would be back to work, but the entire team were positive that she should make a full recovery.

"Dr Reese." The woman sat up a little bit more, when Sarah checked in on her before her shift one morning a few days after. "They say you saved my life." She took a wheezy breath, "Thank you. I know...I know we haven't got along, I didn't treat you fairly..." She took another heavy breath, and flinched in pain.

"Your welcome." Sarah replied. "I'm just glad you're okay..."

"Listen, about the files I gave you, it wasn't..."

"It's fine. I get it. I think." Sarah frowned, "But I just want you to know, I've never dated, or am dating Dr Rhodes. I…I got my position from my interviews, and my results, and okay, Dr Rhodes let me know about the opening but..." She found herself rambling on.

"You're a good doctor. I just didn't give you any credit, it's easier to knock you back than build you up." She gave a ghost of a smile. "I bought the rumours, I shouldn't have, but I did. And I'm sorry. I had to fight my whole way up to where I am now and it annoyed me that someone could have gotten in so easily. I guess I should trust Goodwin, you're a good doctor Reese."

Sarah felt like it was a big weight lifted off her shoulders. "It's alright, just once we can get along..."

Sarah felt the need the pinch herself when they shared a smile. She only stayed a few minutes more, making small talk, but it felt like a victory.

Sarah was leaving when Kate called her again. "Everyone was just jealous of you really, it wasn't about the fact that you got the position, to me it was, but everyone just didn't want the new doctor snapping up Dr Rhodes. Are you sure you're not dating? I actually think you two are really cute together."

Sarah gave a sad laugh on reflex, "No, we're not. He's not, I'm not..." She couldn't help but sigh, "It's not happening..."

"For the record, I think he does like you. Why do think I bought the rumours?" She scoffed but then winced in pain, "I wouldn't mind someone looking at me the way he looks at you…"

Sarah just smiled and nodded and said goodbye. Because what was the point in entertaining what could be when he wouldn't even _look_ at her anymore?

* * *

 _A/N: Hope you enjoyed this, I'm sorry it's not as exciting as normal. I just needed to clear up the whole Kate thing and set some things up for future chapters...I'm very excited about what I have planned and I'll try to update soon again! Thank you so much for reading, and supporting the story, I hope you continue to enjoy it :)_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was two weeks. Well, fourteen days, seven hours and thirty-four minutes to be precise. But who was counting? Not Sarah anyway, as she frowned at the clock from where she stood filling in her paperwork in the cardiology bay. She was fine. Just fine.

She was making a good impression on Dr Kingston, ever since Kate's accident, he even allowed her in on the more complicated surgeries. She was carving out her own friendships in the cardiology department. She was determined to push herself. To show Joey and any remaining doubters that she _would_ be a good doctor. And while doing so, she was proving to Connor just how she could get along fine without him.

But it was like an open wound. Bandage it up and it would be fine, but passing him in the corridor, or doing a consult with him? Then was like ripping the bandage off and starting from the beginning again. She missed his company, his smile, him. But he was putting the space between them, and if there was one thing she was good at it was putting up walls against the people who hurt her. She wasn't going to back down. She might have crossed a line with him that evening but he was the one putting distance between them. He could have talked though it with her and they could have got through it, even if it was awkward. But he had hurt her and now he was icing her out. She had had enough of that her whole life.

She was the first to admit that she was never a people person when she had been growing up, and she got shut out of all the circles, and friendships. And she was damned if she was going to let him be the only one making life hard. She could throw his ice right back at him.

It had been a quiet shift, as quiet as she had gotten so far, but the alarm rang through from ED. Car pileup, multiple casualties, all help needed. She saw Connor race from one of the patients rooms. Dr Kingston nodded to her too, she had no immediate patients on her list. And she knew ED like the back of her hand.

She was already researching a fellowship in emergency medicine. She had a lot of free hours now that she didn't have coffees with Connor, or spend time hanging out with Joey. If it wasn't for the entire Connor scenario, she would say she was just coming into herself. She was building herself up and she was happy.

She arrived to the floor when the ambulances arrived. The chaos, the panic, the urgency, it didn't scare her anymore. She noticed a student, standing like a deer caught in headlights, and she approached her, told her follow her. The girl reminded her of herself. And she had needed someone to believe in her back then. It was just a pity Sarah's person couldn't stand to be in the same room as her.

"Dr Reese, Treatment 2." Maggie called as she took control of the next trolley coming through the doors.

And the patients kept coming. Broken bones. Showing the student how to intubate a patient. Ruptured lungs. Two code Blues. She finished helping Natalie stitching a little boy's arm while Natalie put a stent on his broken bone, before letting breathing again.

She told the student to go and have a break while she filled out the paperwork. How many times had Ethan and Will done that for her during her rotation? She had lost count but she had appreciated it. She thought it was time to pay on the favour. She stood at the bay with Maggie filling out more paperwork when a new patient was rushed through.

"Elderly woman, heart irregularity, chest pains, vision coming and going…" Sarah's head shot up at her new buzzword that was 'heart' and saw Conor already beside the trolley.

It was while later, she was dotting her i's and crossing her t's when she saw him come out from the cubicle and scan the area. From the corner of her eye she could see his eyes land on her, and then land on her again and by the time he walked over to her, she could practically feel the annoyance rolling off him waves.

"Dr Reese?" He asked, after he had cleared his throat.

She didn't look up from the files in front of her. If he wanted to treat her with distance, she could play that game too.

"Yes, Dr Rhodes?" She sighed as if he was wasting her time.

"My patient, she's requesting a second opinion, would you mind having a look?"

She looked up at him, his eyes still guarded, his expression giving nothing away. It always hit her, just how much she wanted to get behind that armour again. Instead, she lifted her chin, "Sure." She took the tablet in his hands and let him follow her back.

"Mrs Danes? I'm Dr Reese, Dr Rhodes said you would like a second opinion?" He stood beside her and she found she couldn't stand still. She felt like she could have cut the awkwardness between them with a knife.

"Oh, once you don't mind dear? My son is a doctor, he's always saying I should be extra cautious about these things."

"I understand." She was focusing on her patient, but all she could feel was his presence at her side. "Could you describe what you're feeling?"

The woman did just that, and after Sarah checked her chest twice, her pupils, and covered the vitals she needed, she looked over to where Connor was standing.

"Dr Rhodes?" She put weight in her words, worry weaving its way into her voice, "Just here?" He nodded and took her place to listen to the woman's heart. In doing so, there was a lot of shifting around, both parties avoiding contact and she wondered if things could get any more awkward.

He straightened himself up and slightly lifted his eyebrows. She wasn't sure how she felt about being able to know what he was saying without him using words. But the walls broke down for a split second when he finally met her eye.

"I'll be right back Mrs Danes." He smiled and excused himself.

Sarah tried to smile and shuffled back to retrieve the tablet she had left down to do a better check of the woman's history.

The woman sighed, "Young love." And Sarah watched her shake her head fondly. Losing lucidity was never a good sign.

"I'm sorry?" It could mean the patient condition was deteriorating quicker than they thought.

"You two. You and the other doctor. I know a lover's tiff when I see one, I should know, I've plenty of them in my time with my Lucas. Ten years ago and I would have him back just to fight with if it meant I could have him back again."

"Me and Dr Rhodes?"

"Of course! It must be hard working with each other, you must make time for each other outside of work." She told her in a no-nonsense manner. "But I'm sure you can get over whatever argument that's sitting between you. No point in holding a grudge, when you could be happy." She smiled.

Sarah opened her mouth, closed it and opened it again. She nodded, "I'll try." She smiled, if only for the patient's peace of mind.

It nearly broke Sarah's heart when the test results came back and she had to stand by Connor as he gave the woman her diagnosis. She had a growth around her heart, undoubtable causing the blood clots that were causing her to lose her vision. They could operate, something she wanted to talk to her family with first, and they transferred her up to the ICU to monitor her condition. She smiled and winked and nodded between Sarah and Conor when she was wheeled past.

She smiled as best she could as the woman left, but felt like crying when she left. It never got any easier, not being able to make everybody better. It when she turned back to the ED bay that she noticed Maggie, April and Will whispering together. It wasn't unusual, not when it came to being discreet about patients but her interest was piqued when all three turned their heads to look at her and then immediately away so fast she half worried about them getting whiplash.

She tipped her head to the side slightly, trying to figure out if she should even ask. But they looked over again so she couldn't help it.

"Should I ask what's going on?" She asked, joining their little circle.

Will scratched in ear, his nervous tick, and April glanced around like she was looking for somebody in particular.

"It's Joey." Maggie said, "Doris seen him having lunch with one of our new ED students, who told Ethan who told Con..."

"We just weren't sure if you wanted to know." Will cut across. "We didn't know whether to tell you or not."

She could have sworn they were going to mention Connor's name but she shook her head, now she was just hearing his name everywhere. "Its fine, you guys. We broke up weeks ago, I mean I guess he's allowed to see new people." She said, but then wrinkled her nose, "But _another_ student?"

"That is what I said. You are better off without him." April told her.

"Thanks guys, but I'm fine with it, he can date whoever he wants. Hey, Maggie, could you keep an ear out on Mrs Victoria Danes? I just consulted on with C..." she caught herself before she uttered his name, "Dr Rhodes. And she's a very touch and go case."

"Of course."

With that Sarah made her way off to have her break, there was no way she was going to the canteen now, she opened the door to the doctors lounge to find Ethan holding Connor in place.

"Man, I'm telling you, don't do it, they've broken up..."

"Everything all right here?" She said, slipping into the room.

Connor looked like he had just seen a ghost. "Well that's even worse." He practically growled to Ethan who tried to tell Sarah that everything was fine before chasing him out of the room. She was curious, but she had seen plenty of heated confrontations over patients in her time there.

It wasn't until near the end of her shift that Maggie found Sarah. "Hey, that patient you were wondering about?"

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm sorry Sarah, she agreed to the operation but it was too late."

Sarah's stomach dropped and she sighed and shook her head, "Thanks for letting me know Maggie."

"No problem." She said, squeezing Sarah's arm. "Hey, we're all going to Molly's tonight, you coming?"

It sounded exactly like what she needed. "Yeah that sounds great, I'm nearly done, I'll meet you there."

And she had planned on it. Until Dr Rhodes was pulled off a surgery and Dr Kingston took over, he ordered half the team to come and help him. It was hours later, after a successful operation, going home to change and eat, before she ventured to Molly's. It was very late, but she figured she might as well chance going and hoping some of them were still there instead of hanging around at home thinking of her shift.

The place had to be the emptiest she had ever seen, she couldn't spot any of her friends, but went up to the bar and ordered a soda anyway. It was only then that she noticed who was sitting down the bar from her.

She idly wondered if she would ever stop getting butterflies whenever she saw him.

He was hunched over, a beer nestled in his hands, and staring at the counter in front of him.

Everything was going fine. She planned on having a quiet hour to herself, ignoring the man who was ignoring her. That was until the fight broke out among the men at the back. Glasses were shattered, voices were raised and the two or three remaining firefighters and Connor managed to break them up. From what she could see, the men weren't hurt, just annoyed, one had a bloody nose but she watched Connor check it before Herrmann ordered the men to be tossed out.

Herrmann was talking to Connor before he turned and called her, "Hey Sarah, we could use a doc over here."

"No, we don't." Connor told Herrmann before looking at Sarah as she approached.

That was it. She had had enough, and had ticked her off.

"Yes. You do." She told him, before pulling up the arm of his shirt that was covered in blood. "Now sit down, and let me look at it. We're work colleagues, we're meant to work together right?" She spat his words back at him. He didn't get to be the only one annoyed that their situation. "Goodwin wouldn't appreciate it if I let you get infected. Herrmann, can I have your first aid kit please?"

While Herrmann was away, Sarah examined the nasty cut on his arm.

"It's from the glass." He told her.

"I know."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." She glared up at him.

"Dr Reese, I think I know..."

"I'm treating you, if you'd like a second opinion I can take you to Med..." She shot at him before thanking Herrmann for the first aid kit.

"Sarah..." He uttered her name in defeat and she felt like her heart skipped a beat.

"Fine. But you have to let me take care of this then."

He just started brooding at the counter.

She knew a bad day when she saw one. And she tried, but she couldn't help but worry about him. No matter how much distance had been put between them, she still cared.

"You're really not used to being fussed over are you?" She smiled while she sorted through the bag.

He scoffed, "Hardly, have you met my father?"

"Well, I'm used to fussing, I have three little sisters..." She said, cleaning the wound as best she could. "…so let me do what I'm good at..."

He didn't argue anymore, he just sat still, watching her.

"You're distracting me." She mumbled.

"Now, or just in general?" She saw the edge of his lips lift slightly. But she remembered the last time they had gone crossing a line. She decided that he didn't get to pretend they could flirt, she was still hurt. He didn't want this, he didn't want them, so she couldn't let him know how much he did distract her. She didn't satisfy him with an answer as she pulled the bandage tight.

"It's no use, you're going to need stitches." She said removing her gloves. "How much have you had to drink?" She asked, examining his pupils. It was like torture, having to look into his eyes, when they usually avoided her.

"Not enough to have to have it done in Med, I have my kit at home, I'll stitch myself up." It was true, she noted, he wasn't drunk, but he didn't look great either.

"I'll stitch you up." She said before asking Herrmann to get them a cab.

It was a quiet drive in the cab, she followed him up to his apartment where he let her in. It was fancier than she expected, but so undoubtedly _him._ The shelves of books, only rivalled her own. He was a bit of a clean freak but she could see bits of him everywhere, not in the décor, no pictures or momentous because there were none, just his copies of the newspaper, his jacket lying over his chair.

He retrieved his medical kit from the bathroom and sat down at his table while she got to work.

She was at a loss of anything to say, but the silence was too deafening, too much walls between them. And his small smile and the fact that he was calling her Sarah? She didn't know where she stood with him anymore.

She started stitching, "I heard about Mrs Danes."

He flinched a little as she worked, she didn't know if it was from her work or from her words "Yeah, I was ready to operate, but she was convulsing, and she had a DNR. Just like Downey."

She drew in a breath and nodded. Bad day.

"I'm sorry, Sarah."

She didn't know what to say, but he was too close and she couldn't let him in again. Not when it had hurt so much. Not when there was suddenly such uncertainty over where they stood with each other. She finished patching him up, and checked for signs of concussion.

"I think you are good to go. I'll let myself out."

"Sarah, where are you going, it's two o'clock in the morning."

"I'll get a cab." She shrugged.

"That's too risky."

"I know where I'm not wanted Dr Rhodes." She used his formal name like a weapon to defend herself.

"Sarah, you can stay in the spare bedroom, I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you." He didn't get to care anymore, not when he had put so much space between them.

"Yeah, I mean you can't lose a good work colleague." she said, glancing around the room to not let her sudden tears fall. Because she was tired, and not just because it was late but because she wished it could go back to how things were before.

"You kept my note." He said as he got up and approached her.

"What?"

"In your locker, I saw it last week, you kept it..." and she couldn't help but feel like it was a question.

"Yeah well," She sighed, "I needed any inspiration I could get...you remembered my order."

They were going around in circles, too close, then too far apart, and it was like something was squeezing her heart.

He smiled, one of his genuine smiles that reached his eyes, "You made an impression." he sighed, "I'm sorry Sarah, just please stay, I don't want you getting hurt."

She didn't particularly find the prospect of trekking across the city very appealing right now so she relented, "Alright."

She mightn't have liked him at the moment, but that didn't mean she didn't want to spend time with him now. Not when his walls were crumbling down, and he was in pain. If nothing else but that she owed him. He had always made her feel better, apart from _that_ almost kiss, and she could see the pain in his eyes, and it wasn't all from his arm.

Despite being annoyed and confused about where they stood with each other, she couldn't help but think that he looked adorable when he was tired, all messed up hair and soft eyes. She refused his offer of food, or hot chocolate, or anything else. There was no point prolonging this all if he was just going to desert her again. So he went and got her one of his t-shirt and bottoms, and showed her where the spare bedroom was.

"Bathroom's just down the hall, you need anything just let me know…" She wanted to tell him that all she needed was for him to let her in again. "Thanks for…Thank you Sarah." It was one of the first times that she had seen him looking unsure of himself, nervous even.

All she did was nod and he left her to it. She changed quickly and set her alarm for early the next morning so she could be gone before they could have another awkward run in. The distance had been bad enough, this weird, uncomfortable feeling between them now just twisted the knife. She crawled under the covers and tried not to dream of Connor Rhodes.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Her alarm woke her and she reached over and nearly fell out of the bed with disorientation. Sarah was awake and alert in an instant when it hit her that she was in _Connor Rhodes'_ apartment. Somewhere that she needed to get out of before everything just got more confusing. She sneaked her way down to the bathroom before getting dressed. She nearly made it back to her room when she met him in the hallway.

She was sure her eyes nearly popped out of her head. He was plodding down the hallway, in nothing but a fitted t-shirt and boxers, his hair was beautifully mused up and she wondered why it was fair that someone could look _that_ gorgeous in the morning. She was sure she looked like a sight to behold for all the wrong reasons, in his oversized clothes, tired looking and probably looking like she had been dragged through some bushes backwards.

"Good morning Sarah." The word escaped his lips as if it were the most natural way for him to spend a Saturday morning.

"Uh huh." She mumbled and made a half dash to her room. How were they supposed to keep this up? Keep the façade that they were just work colleagues, couldn't he feel the spark between them? Obviously not, she thought bitterly, if he wanted nothing to do with her after they nearly kissed. But the _thing_ between them, the looks they could decipher, the jokes they had, it was growing and shifting and made her wary of him. Like no matter how far apart they may be, he still had a slight hold over her heart.

She changed back into her own clothes, tamed her hair, fixed his bed and left his clothes folded on top. Then she grabbed her phone and headed for the kitchen. He was there, cooking breakfast and she suddenly wished that things between them were clearer, or better, so she could sit down with him and eat. He had become a constant in her life that she never knew she needed.

"I'll see you next shift." She said before heading for the door. "I can change the bandages if you'd like."

"Sarah," He called after her but she closed the door behind her and ran towards the elevator.

He had pushed her away but she couldn't let him in again so easily, not without an explanation. The elevator doors closed as he made it half way down the hallway.

She texted Natalie as the elevator moved, asking if it were okay if she were to call over earlier to help her with the preparations for Owen's first birthday party that was planned for later that day. She got out at the ground floor and was just near the outside door, shrugging on her jacket when she heard her name again.

"Sarah!" She spun to see him emerging from the staircase. "Please, let me explain." He was slightly out of breath when he reached her.

"Explain what? I insult you when we nearly kissed, and you suddenly act like we're strangers? Believe me I got the message, work colleagues. So please just stop all this…" she waved her hand at him, and his morning routine, and smiles he kept just for her, and his confusing actions, "Just stop pretending to care if you don't."

Because that was how she had always been hurt in the past, jumping into something when the other person didn't really care either way. And she couldn't risk doing that, not with Connor.

"Sarah!" He called again but this time she left and he didn't follow.

At least she knew where she stood.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight…" April said as Sarah handed her a balloon to hang up a few hours later at Natalie's house. "You stayed at his place…and you're still not talking?"

Sarah shrugged as she separated the bunting, "He blocked me out. I can't let him back in again that easily. And I just don't know where I stand with him."

"But you admit that you _like_ him now?" Maggie asked from across the room, setting up Owen's birthday cake.

"I…I mean…I…" She was saved by the doorbell, Natalie went to let Will in who was carrying more of the supplies she had ordered for the party. It wasn't big, some of Natalie's and Jeff's family, and her friends, but Natalie wanted it to be perfect.

It was scary to have to admit that, yes, she did like Connor, sometimes too much. They finished with the set up and when Helen came home from her outing with Owen, she brought him in to see everyone. Sarah watched Will watch Nat all day. She wondered if that was the way she looked at Connor.

Ethan and Conor arrived later on, along with other staff, Natalie's small house was bursting at the seams. She was buffering food in out from the kitchen along with April and was on her way out to the porch when she heard her name, she stopped in her tracks.

"Man, you're lucky you stopped him." Will said.

"Yeah," Ethan sighed. "He wanted to put Joey in the ED. And I don't think Reese even knew what was happening…"

"Nah, her and Connor? It's like they're blind to each other."

Sarah heard Ethan laugh, "Says you. Will, man, you and Nat…."

Sarah didn't wait to hear anymore. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Her head swam with the new information. She dropped the tray she was holding and tried to disappear upstairs, she just needed five minutes to sort things out because.

Because why the hell would Connor reject her and put _so_ much distance between them and then want to hurt Joey?

Because why would he not look her in the eye but then last night wanted nothing more than to let her back in again?

Because why would he pretend not to care but then race after her?

The man was infuriating.

The bathroom was full complete with que so she let herself into Owen's newly decorated room. They had spent all morning changing it from the nursery to a more 'big boy' room.

She stood, arms wrapped around herself, glaring out the window, because as much as she loved solving problems, she couldn't solve through everything that Connor had been doing.

A knock came to the door she had left ajar and who stood in the doorway? Dressed in a button down shirt and his hair all tidied up, was Connor.

She rounded on him, "What?" She practically shot her words across the room.

"Sarah, I…"

"No, you don't get to say anything. You ignore me for _weeks_. I mean if I'm that repulsive you could have just let me know…"

"You're not…" He shook his head.

"And then you're annoyed with having to work with me. Then I found out you want to beat up my ex-boyfriend? But then you don't want me getting hurt so you get me to stay. Yet you insist we're not friends anymore. I don't know where I stand with you." She stopped her pacing back and forth in front of him and threw her hands up in defeat. "Actually no, I do know that you obviously don't _like_ me so I'm sorry…"

"I do _like_ you…" She wondered why he sounded slightly pained when he said it. "I'm sorry for hurting you and the mixed signals…I…" He crossed the small space to stop right in front of her. Too close for work colleagues, or for friends, for that matter.

"Believe me Sarah, I care about you. I do. More than you know." He said, "I'm sorry about that night, that moment…I thought you were still with Joey…."

"If you had just talked to me…"

"I don't so relationships _well_ Sarah, I've never pretended to. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You wouldn't even look at me after, Connor…" She argued.

"I figured it was safer putting some space between us, because I would have kissed you, and then I wouldn't have let you go, and I didn't think that you were mine to hold." He practically whispered, but his eyes didn't leave hers, and she knew he wasn't lying.

"And then you were crying and it broke my heart. I had hurt you. I needed to put some serious distance between us Sarah, I couldn't do that to you again. I couldn't cross the line and have you hurt because of me." He said, "You had become someone I cared about, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I always end up hurting people I care about Sarah and I didn't want to hurt you anymore."

He took a deep breath and continued, "And then I hear Will talking about Joey and his new girlfriend and I thought he was cheating on you and I wanted to…" He nearly growled, "Because you didn't need any more pain. And then Ethan tells me yesterday that you've broken up? Do you know how much I realised I had messed everything up? You distract me Sarah, and I can't keep away from you, or stop thinking about you."

"I'm hurting because I _don't_ have you." She pleaded with him to understand, while her heart still hammered in her chest. Because he _liked_ her. And because he had been trying, albeit failing, to protect her.

"I don't want to ruin us." He shook his head. "I love being around you, and I miss you, but Sarah I don't think we can…"

"Well I do." She said and watched as his gaze became perplexed, "because us right now? We don't talk, we ignore each other, and I can't stop thinking about you…"

But then she caught herself, because she couldn't just admit her feelings like that. A blush was rising in her cheeks and he smiled, pulling away slightly to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

"And you fixed me up last night and then you left and it was like I had ruined everything. I know I have already, but God..." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "I didn't want you to leave. I never want you to leave. And if there's a chance we can make this work? I pushed you away to protect you and to stop myself getting more invested in you and look where it's landed me."

"I'd like to think we could have a chance." She admitted in a soft voice because she couldn't quite believe her ears. She had to reprocess all the distance he had put between them, because he thought she was still with Joey... "…but you can't just push me away again Connor…"

"Well it never really worked Sarah, I missed you too much to hold out for much longer." He smiled softly.

"Well, talk to me next time alright?"

"That sounds like a good idea." He nodded, "I'm sorry for freezing you out, I never meant to hurt you."

"I know that _now_." She sighed contentedly, "So I'm not just a work colleague anymore?"

"Sarah, you were never just a work colleauge." He whispered, and there it was, she thought, that magnetism again. That pull between them. He placed at a hand at the back of her neck and looked her in the eyes, and she had time to draw a shaky breath before his lips met hers.

It took a split second of shock and awe before she could gather her thoughts enough to respond. She grabbed onto some of his shirt with her hand, just so he wouldn't run away again. She never thought there was such a thing as fireworks, but there was no other way to describe it. The spark between them had been building so long that all it took was the kiss to push it over the edge as it exploded around them. Her knees were weak but it didn't matter because he wove his other hand around her waist, he wasn't going to let go anytime soon. All thought left her mind, but heart practically sang from inside her.

"Ahem." Will coughed, rather loudly, from the open door of Owen's newly decorated bedroom.

She pulled away this time, but her mind was buzzing, as she turned to look towards Will.

His smile was a mile wide, "We're going to cut Owen's cake now. But don't let me interrupt." He held his hands up in defence and disappeared from view.

"Sarah…" Connor said softly, and it dragged her attention back from the empty doorway. She was pretty sure her cheeks were red and her lips slightly swollen, her heart was still hammering away because she had never been kissed like _that_ before.

"Mm hmm?" She didn't trust herself to talk as she released her grip on his shirt.

"Are you sure you want this?" She could see doubt still lingering in his eyes.

Sarah Reese knew she didn't like uncertainty. Not the uncertainty in her career choices, or the uncertainty with Joey, or with Conner. But _this_ was something she was certain about.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She smiled, but then heard people starting to sing happy birthday downstairs. "We should probably go downstairs…"

"Yeah, we probably should…" He smiled back at her.

Neither made a move to leave as their lips met again, and all Sarah could think was that she never wanted any distance between them ever again.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! More to come soon! :)

I've tried to sort through and explain Connor's feelings since the beginning in this chapter, I hope I've explained it okay.

To the guest reviewer who corrected my mistake with the spelling of DNR in the last chapter, I'm really sorry I missed it, I was just excited to get the chapter out. I've fixed it now and I hope I didn't offend or hurt anyone, I really didn't mean to make such a careless mistake with such a serious topic.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

They finally managed to pull themselves apart. Just before Natalie came to show some of the guests Owen's new room, fortunately.

Sarah was still quite in shock. Connor Rhodes liked her. And kissed her. And wasn't about to let her go anytime soon.

"Sarah, there you are! Do you remember where we put the spare balloons?" April nearly knocked into Sarah at the bottom on the stairs and she had to let Connor's hand go while April dragged her off to the kitchen.

"I think we put them…" Sarah talked out loud before searching through one of the boxes and finding the missing objects.

"Oh thank God, Owen's cousins? Cute but they take a lot of energy." April huffed.

"Aww." Sarah tried to sound sympathetic but she found that she couldn't stop smiling. She felt like she was practically floating, while her heart still called Connor's name. April turned back and tipped her head to the side.

"Okay…" She dragged out, "What is up with you?"

Sarah half shook her head, "What…what do you mean?"

"Something happened…" April pointed at her, and a smile grew on her face too.

Sarah shook her head but didn't blame April for suspecting something, she couldn't stop smiling, "No, nothing, I mean, no..." But she had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing with happiness, because it was surreal in the best possible way. After weeks of being in the dark it was like somebody finally turned on the light switch.

Will came into the kitchen, carrying empty plates, "Hey you two" He said while practically beaming at Sarah and she felt like she was a toddler again, after being caught doing something she didn't want to be caught doing. The blush crept into her cheeks, she was never a big fan of PDA.

" _What_ is going on?" April demanded to know.

But Will hand't gone around declaring it to everyone like she expected, just to get a reaction out of Connor. But then it clicked. Hadn't he been in their very position? Liking Nat for so long, she supposed that he wouldn't want everyone shouting about it either. For that, she was grateful, she wasn't sure where her and Connor stood in regards to everyone else.

"I don't know." She said and then excused herself. Because she might be floating, but she started analyzing it all. Just like her sisters had always told her to stop doing. She wondered how they would date with work being involved, what was it going to be like to _date_ him, what would everyone say, would it all fizzle out like it had with Joey? Her smile remained intact but a small frown worked itself onto her face.

She was just starting to look around for Connor when he appeared at her side.

"Hey." He smiled and her frown seemed to disappear, because her heart had never fluttered in her chest like that when Joey had been near her.

"Hey." Her smile just grew, if that were possible.

"So," He said, glancing around, "How long do kids parties usually last?" He raised his eyebrows and she noticed that his smile wasn't going anywhere either.

While she didn't want to run out too early on Natalie, the presence of Connor at her side was very alluring.

"Hey, cake's good." Dr Charles wandered past them, holding his plate up but then stalled and looked back at them. He glanced quickly between the two of them and nodded his head, "Good for you." And kept walking.

"Did _everyone_ know?" She turned to Connor and asked him.

"He's a psychiatrist, he knows things." Connor shrugged.

"As well as Kate. And Mrs Danes. And who knows who else."

"Mrs Danes, the DNR patient?" He asked.

"Yeah that's her" Sarah cursed herself for bringing it up, because she saw the regret flicker across his features, if only for a second. "A lovers tiff she called it. She recommend time together away from work."

"Smart woman." He wove a hand around her waist. "You know there's too much work people here, I mean, I think we should follow patients requests, and we can go grab a coffee…"

"You know, I think I agree." She laughed, "Good plan of action."

"I think so." He then leaned down to whisper near her ear, "Meet you by the door in ten." He then placed a kiss to her temple and went on about saying goodbyes.

She tried to gather her thoughts, and then reminded herself not to fall apart every time he was close. And then she went to find the people she knew, saying goodbye, and nearly jumping for joy when some of Owen's family were leaving too, so her absence wouldn't cause too much notice.

"Thanks so much for your help Sarah." Natalie hugged her, the last person on her list to say goodbye to. Will had just continued to smile at her and told with a wink not to have _too_ much fun.

She turned away and began her walk to the front door, a blush on her cheeks and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Connor standing there, waiting for her. And a smile crept onto his face when his eyes landed on her. And she wondered if it were all real.

He opened the door for her and closed it behind them and fell into step beside her. "So…how does coffee sound?"

"Good, as long as I don't have to make it." She admitted.

"I think that can be arranged." He laughed, guiding her over to his car. She got in and suddenly the silence felt overwhelming, like she would be choked on her own doubts. Where did they stand now? Girlfriend and boyfriend? Causal daters? Were they going to tell people?

"What are your sister's names?" He asked, cutting into the silence.

"What?" She turned from staring ahead of her over to the man that was driving, just an arm's length away.

"You mentioned, last night, that you had younger sisters and you looked like you were thinking too much…I'm just venturing into first date topics..." He said.

"I wasn't over thinking." She argued while he stalled a red light

"You were, you look cute when you do, I can see the cogs turning in your head." They pulled off again and he turned his attention back to the road in front of them, with a smirk was firmly in place.

"Yeah, well, you brood." She realised she sounded like a five year old but she needed a comeback.

"I didn't mean it as an insult Sarah, I admire it about you." He smiled. "What's got you analyzing?"

That was new, mostly because everyone always told her she thought too much, over-analysed and that being a lab geek had suited her.

"You!" And her outburst made him laugh. "And me. Us. I mean I don't know if we should mix this in cardiology, they're only starting to like me. And they were jealous of me _before_ this. But I don't know if you like public displays of affection. I don't know how you want to play this. What if it all fizzles out and we're left not talking _again_? You won't find me cute when you've spent more time with me…"

"You don't have to worry about." He said firmly, pulling into a free space.

"Well, everyone says I get annoying when I'm stressed and I'm stubborn and I'm giving you a chance to run while you can." Her words were coming out faster than she could process, because her heart was aching, she didn't want to push him away before they even started.

"Well if you don't think I'm as stubborn as hell too then we really do need to re-evaluate this." He said and despite herself, it made her smile. "Do you still want this?"

"Of course." She said, "I just don't like uncertainty."

"You like ED work." He said, before getting out of the car and then around to her side to open her door.

"Yes. But that's logical, I know how to deal with that." She said, standing beside him, "I don't know how to deal with us." She motioned between them. "An hour ago, we weren't talking." She reminded him.

She didn't mean to add her doubts to his. But he scared her, in a good way, and she wanted to be with him. She just wanted to know _how_ they would do that.

Connor was just about to reply when his phone rang. He frowned before answering it.

"Yes. Yes. Alright. Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can." He sighed in frustration before turning to looking at Sarah. "The on-call surgeon has ironically called in sick. They need me in now. I'm sorry. We'll fix this afterwards, I promise."

"It's fine, don't worry about me, I understand, go prep." She practically waved him away.

"Okay." He had a ghost of a smile on his face before kissing her quickly and rushing back down the street to his car. She ambled over to the train station to go home for an hour or two.

It had been three hours and she was starting to miss him. Four hours and even her study couldn't keep her mind occupied and distracted. Five hours later, and it was getting a bit like Joey, and she had given up all pretence of doing anything but wait for him. She had always rolled her eyes and chastised her sisters for going silly over a boy. She had always been a hopeless romantic but her rational side had always won. There was no point waiting over the boys who never paid her much notice.

She wondered if she had pushed him away with all her worries. That wasn't really what people talked about _before_ a first date was it? She was terrified that he wouldn't turn up. That he would push out again.

A knock came to the outside door and one of her housemates opened it. Sarah didn't take much notice of knocks on the door anymore, she never had guests.

"Sarah, it's for you." She was called and left her room, her phone still in her hand, waiting for Connor to call.

"Coming, thanks Lauren." She said, coming around the corner from the stairwell.

"Not a problem." Her housemate smiled mischievously and walked back down the hall, leaving Connor standing by the door.

"Hi." She said, stopping in her tracks. "What are you…?"

"I'm sorry about the delay. Surgery ran over, and Goodwin wanted a word on it, and my phone died, and I wanted to see you, so I figured this was the best thing..."

She smiled and couldn't help it, she closed the space to place kiss to his lips, he had put in effort to see her. Nobody had done that much. It surprised her and calmed her nerves. Because he hadn't ran a mile at her conversation topics. And he hadn't pushed her away again.

"I can get delayed again if that's what happens…" He laughed softly. "I brought coffee and doughnuts." He held up the bag between them.

"Sounds good." She smiled, leading him into the kitchen.

They sat at the breakfast bar and their knees kept knocking off each other, not that she was complaining.

"How was the surgery?" She asked, taking a bite out of her doughnut.

"Complicated." He cringed. "What's your favourite colour?" He turned the conversation and smiled.

"Blue." She laughed softly, "What do you work as?" She rolled her eyes in jest. "This is hardly a first date."

"You're right, I'll bring you out to dinner whenever it suits you." He said, sitting up straighter, his tone becoming more serious.

She scoffed, "I don't trust your choices in food." Then she smiled, needing him to know she was only joking, "No, I meant we know each other…"

"We do." He nodded.

"So…I mean, we can skip the awkward first date thing right? I was never very good at it anyway." She blushed.

"I like making you blush." He said before sipping his coffee.

"What am I supposed to say to that Connor?" She laughed and swatted at his arm.

He shrugged, "I was just making an observation. So you want to keep this low-key in cardiology?"

"I don't want to hide this." He had to know that. "But they are only warming up to me. And you have a lot of admirers there..." She practically mumbled.

"I get it. I never want to ruin your chances Sarah." He said, then he smirked, "So I can't go around telling everyone you woke up in my clothes this morning then?"

She shook her head, "I looked horrendous."

"You looked beautiful." He said, leaning over to kiss her softly.

He didn't move too far away afterwards, something she liked.

"So we just don't go flaunting this around in work." He said. "And I don't think I'll ever get fed up of you." He referenced her earlier worry and it made her heart skip a beat.

"That's a deep conversation for a first date Connor Rhodes." She whispered, their foreheads meeting again.

He chuckled, and she could nearly feel the vibrations in his chest as he did. "Someone mentioned us having to talk…."

"That person sounds smart."

"Very smart." He whispered back.

"But I like the sound of that plan." She confessed, she was glad that she wasn't chasing him away with her worries. That he listened to her.

So she told him the names of her sisters, and what her favourite colour, book and movie was. Because he listened and because he was genuinely interested. She loved the fact that they could swap stories back and forth. And he didn't cut across her. He watched her with eyes that lit up when she got excited and rushed out a long winded story about her two sisters, a neighbourhood cat and the fire brigade.

He told her about his decision to go to medical school, his favourite books, his preference of vinyl over CDs and how his grandfather was his biggest fan, under the tough exterior he had.

He acted distraught when she mentioned not seeing much of the city since she moved there. Either spending her time studying or working, hadn't left her much time to sight-see. She didn't mention that Joey had always thought she was childish for wanting to see the touristy sights, and not just the seminars and specialist museums he had wanted to see.

"Okay, next shift we have off, I'm taking you out for the day. I'll bring you to all the tourist spots, we'll take too many pictures and eat too much food. How does that sound?"

It sounded like music to Sarah's ears.

"That sounds great." She smiled but then yawned. She didn't mean to, but tiredness was setting in. The evening had passed so quick in his company. House-mates had come and gone, the sun had set, and blinds drawn, and she didn't realise how late it was until she yawned. They had been talking for hours and then she remembered that she had volunteered for a double shift the following day.

"I'll take that as my hint to leave?" He smiled.

"No, I'm not bored, I just…" She tried to argue.

"I'm messing Sarah. I didn't realise it was so late, I better get going anyway. I have to check in on my surgery patient before my shift tomorrow anyway." He said, shrugging his jacket back on.

"Yeah, I have a double shift tomorrow. Volunteering for an extra shift had sounded like such a good idea last week." She sighed, following him to the door. She had signed up just so she wouldn't have to think about her previous predicament of trying to avoid Connor.

"It can be tiring alright. You'll take care of yourself though right? Drink lots and rest and don't let the other doctors annoy you." His tone was worried and it made her heart warm, he was worried about her.

"I will, I promise."

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He smiled.

"Definitely."

"Good." He said before he pulled her close to kiss her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her flush against him and she wound her hands around his neck and into his hair. They only broke apart when air became a necessity and she idly wondered if the effect he had on her would ever fade. But by the hammering of her heart in her chest and the blush in put in her cheeks, she highly doubted it.

* * *

 _AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)_

 _I just want to thank everyone who is reading this story, the support is awesome! I wasn't expecting so many people to read my story and I'm delighted you seem to be enjoying it._

 _I hope I didn't make Sarah too OOC in this chapter, I figure she would be delighted they got together but I thought she would like some clarity. Personally I think jumping from friends to strangers to a relationship would confuse matters a tad._

 _More chapters coming soon...we're back to Med next!_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 _AN: I know I've gone AU on Season 2 so far, but I just thought the part involving Sarah in season 2, episode 11, Graveyard Shift, would be interesting with Sarah now in cardiology and with Connor etc. I've only run with the part that involved Sarah, not the entire episode. Hope you like this chapter!_

* * *

Sarah walked into Med the following morning with a huge smile on her face. She was hoping that she and Connor could have their usual morning coffee together again. Back to better times, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the thought. Though she reminded herself to lose her smile because April would definitely know that something was up. But every time she tried to, all she could think of was their first kiss, and that only helped to make her smile bigger.

She ducked into the doctors' lounge, slightly disappointed that Connor wasn't there, but went and got changed and got her caffeine drive started early. She was going to need it.

A few nurses came in and out, and Sarah was nearly finished her coffee before the doctors started changing shifts. Natalie, Ethan and Dr Charles and a few of the cardiology came by to prep. Connor came in afterwards, when she was in the middle of discussing the pros and cons of a procedure with Dr Charles, but he caught her eye and smiled. It was like a weight off her shoulders, knowing that she wouldn't have to avoid him anymore.

Shift change was happening, so she was walking to the elevator with Dr Charles when they met Ms Goodwin briefing Maggie.

"We're got another traffic accident people. Look alive." Maggie started talking above the general chatter. "Anything that's not an emergency case, can wait. We've got a school bus pile up. Ambulances arriving. Let's move."

"Daniel, we're going to need you here." Ms Goodwin mentioned as she passed by the pair. "I'm alerting the departments, more residents are on their way…"

"Dr Rhodes, the bus driver, he's yours." Maggie called and Sarah watched as Connor rolled a trolley by her. It seemed like everyone was already helping the ambulances with the children that were piling in. Sarah felt conflicted, she needed approval before she could help, but Dr Kingston was on a week holiday and she hadn't the chance to meet the surgeon on call.

"Dr Reese, with me?" Connor asked as he passed by, there was a lack of staff for the onslaught of patients flooding the ED. She didn't think twice about helping him. That was enough approval as she needed, he was a cardiology fellow, it would have to do.

"Yeah," She nodded, following him into the cubicle and started compressions as Connor intubated and they set up the monitors.

Sarah started a central line, and Connor took a few quick x-rays.

"You're a natural at that now." Connor commented and she smiled, but she didn't have time to think about him, about them. They had work to do. She moved back and forth, around Connor. They had a flow while working together, the same since day one. They could communicate on looks alone and it helped to speed up their work.

Sarah felt her heart sinking, the man wasn't going to make it.

It was difficult, the man lost consciousness, and they lost his pulse twice. She had to watch his vitals drop, while Connor tried to stabilise his heart before surgery. He started haemorrhaging. Badly. His heart was badly damaged and couldn't support the damage done to his lungs and stomach.

Resuscitation didn't work.

"Dammit." Connor sighed and took a step back. "I'm calling it…?"

"Yeah," She nodded in agreement, though despising the fact. She hated not being able to save everyone.

"Time of death, 08:42." He took off his gloves and shook his head.

"There was nothing more we could do." She told him, because she didn't want him carrying it around with him.

"I know." He looked over to her and smiled sadly for the briefest of moments. "It never gets any easier." She didn't miss the pain in his eyes, she ached to reach out and make him feel better, but it wasn't the place.

He closed the curtain behind them and told her he'd see her later when someone called his name to come and help.

"Sarah!" April nearly ran into her, "Ethan needs a hand in treatment 4."

And that was how her morning went by. Helping out where she could, and taking charge with patients when she had a moment. It was draining, and heart-breaking, seeing so many children in pain. But the staff got through it like they always did, together.

"Hey." She greeted Will, Natalie and Doris who were in the doctors' lounge when she caught a break.

"Hey Sarah." Natalie tried to smile.

"Rough morning." She sighed. "Those poor kids."

"Tell me about it." Natalie said, glaring at the screen in front of her.

"I think the last of them have been treated, just back to as normal as it gets around here." Doris said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Cardiology will be missing you at this rate, Sarah." Will commented. "You were here last shift too, weren't you?"

She laughed, "Yeah, I don't think they'll go as far as missing me yet, but they are warming up. I'm going back up there now."

"Thanks for your help down here." Natalie said, as she went over to root in her locker.

"Oh I'm sure she doesn't stick around here for _us_ Natalie." Will started smiling his insufferable smile again.

"What are you talking about?" Natalie shook her head.

"I'm just saying that her and Connor work well together is all." Will held his hands up in defense.

"Oh I saw you two were working on a patient before," Doris commented, "How did it go?"

Sarah shrugged, "Didn't make it, I'm afraid."

"Oh I'm sorry." Doris said, before she excused herself and went back to work.

Sarah looked back over to Natalie who was staring at Will, trying to decipher the second meaning to his words. She had to leave the room before Natalie did figure it out. She figured she would tell everyone eventually, just not in the middle of work.

She made her way back up to cardiology and checked in with Jenny. She helped another resident on their rounds. Interesting cases, but nothing they could do immediately. She loved to learn about the variations in cardiology between the different patients, something there was a lot of. She was scheduled in for surgery after lunch, something she missed from her time in ED and got the questions that she was asked correct. The on-call surgeon even commended her for noticing the abnormality in the case that they were working on, something that the senior residents didn't immediately pick up on. Every little victory was worth it, she thought, she would earn their respect eventually.

Another emergency bypass surgery and her shift was coming to an end. The operating theatre felt too small after a while, too long in it and it started to feel like it was closing in around her. It was just a change of atmosphere, a change of pace, something else to adjust to, to learn about. She made her way up to the roof to get some fresh air before changing and starting her next consecutive shift.

She gazed out over the city when she heard him approach. "There you are." He smiled, before settling beside her at the railings, his hand brushing hers. Not enough for people to notice, but enough to make her heart skip a beat in her chest.

"Coffee?" Connor asked, holding up a cup for her. "A little bit later than when I had planned but..." He shrugged, "How was your shift?"

"Long." She decided that was the best word to describe it but thanked him when she took the cup. She was going to need it. Another twelve hours to go. "How was yours?"

"Long." He nodded and bumped her shoulders with his. "I had a patient in the OR, we were so close to saving him…just another minute…" She watched as he shook his head and glared out into the scenery in front of them.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and all she wanted to do was hug him close.

"Thanks." He looked back to her with such intensity that she wondered if anything else around them even existed anymore. "So the night shift huh?"

"Yeah." She moved the cup in her hands back and forth between them.

"Just…" He seemed to think about his words as he turned so his back was facing Chicago and looked to the side to her, "…as far as I can tell, you're one of the only cardiology residents on call tonight. And it's usually down to any cardiology resident around to call time on any patients that…" His words hung in the evening air around them.

"But…" she was suddenly at a loss. "But my bedside manner... I don't know how to…I can explain the facts…but I can't…"

"Sarah. You're one of the most caring people I know. And you can do anything you put your mind to." He placed his hands on her shoulders, calming her slightly.

She just wished she had the confidence in herself that he had in her.

"Thanks for the heads up." She tried to smile. "I better get back to the lounge, I have to change…" She frowned, it was preoccupying her mind now, having to pronounce patients dead…

"I'll walk with you." He said, falling into step beside her.

Where the distance between them before had annoyed her, their closeness now excited and calmed her at the same time. Their arms would bump occasionally and they were so close together as they walked, but always far too apart in her opinion.

He filled the walk with talk about the list of sights he was thinking they should visit and she mentioned the ones her sisters wanted memorabilia from. It was what she needed. A distraction from work, just for a few minutes before another twelve hours. He distracted her, in a good way. She noticed the tension in his shoulders easing as they walked and chatted easily, she was glad she could distract him from the hard day's work as well.

They were walking along the empty hallway, nearing the exit, when he stopped to turn to her.

"Call me, if you need anything..." He said, suddenly so much closer.

"Yeah, I will." She smiled briefly before he glanced around and kissed her gently.

It was warming, knowing that he wasn't going to chastise her for being hurt, for caring, like Joey had. He just cared about how she was dealing with everything.

"I'll see you later. Have a good shift." He told her, letting go of her hand as he walked in the direction of the exit just as a doctor rounded the other corner. Sarah smiled after him before turning and taking the elevator down to the doctors' lounge, hoping the doctor didn't notice their intimate behaviour.

She stopped to talk to April and Doris in the cardiology bay for a while, before making her way to the lounge.

"Hey Reese." Ethan greeted her from where he was packing his bag. "You not going home?"

"No. I volunteered for a night shift, it seemed like a better idea at the time." She laughed softly, sitting down.

"They always do." He laughed along before heading towards the changing rooms and the door opened again and Joey walked in. She hadn't talked to him since they broke up. Maybe a hello in the hallway but never one to one. She was unsure of what move she should make.

"Hey Joey." She attempted a smile in his direction.

"Sarah." He said with a bob of his head.

"Em…how…how are you?"

He scoffed from the kitchenette where his back was turned to her, "I'm not doing as good as you are, apparently."

"I'm sorry?" She frowned, what was that supposed to mean?

"So you gave up on us and you dating that doctor the entire time huh?" He turned to face her. "Beth from pathology saw you guys a few minutes ago. Don't try to deny it."

She swallowed. News travelled exceptionally fast around Med. "Joey. I never cheated on you. I wouldn't do that." She said, standing up.

"You move on pretty quick though, huh?"

That made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She didn't like being goaded. She didn't like how he got to be annoyed, when he dumped her. He had been fed up with her complaining about her job, now she had found someone who wanted her to talk about it. She wasn't going to regret it. And he didn't get to insult her anymore. Wasn't she now the very version of herself that Joey didn't want?

"That's not fair." She said. "You didn't want this anymore. I'm not the old me, remember? And you're the one dating the new student. How am I supposed to know that you don't just have a new student every year?"

"Yeah, well, your new doctor won't waste much time on you. You're not Dr Zanetti are you?"

That hurt. That was like a slap to the face.

"Is everything okay here?" Ethan had reappeared and broke the loaded glares that had settled between her and Joey. She wondered how everything got so toxic between them. She supposed not many couples made it when they worked in such a high-risk environment together.

But that only made her worry more.

Joey mumbled something about ED doctors before leaving the room and leaving Sarah fuming.

"You okay Sarah?" Ethan asked, picking up his bag.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." She shook her head but then nodded.

"See you later. Have a good shift."

Ah.

Right. Another twelve hours. Of mulling over Joey's words. Of apparently having to call time on deaths of patients. Of working in an environment where her colleagues didn't quite like her yet, but if news travelled so fast, she supposed, they definitely wouldn't like her now. Her first double shift couldn't have come at a worse time.

* * *

She assisted in two heart attack patients that needed emergency surgery under the on-call surgeon before Connor's prediction came through. Sarah was five hours in and hoping she could continue with the relatively calm work when she was paged.

One of the nurses was waiting for her in the ICU when she had rushed down from the cath lab.

Sarah didn't blame the nurse. The woman needed a doctor. It was protocol. The nurse, in fairness, even gave her a stethoscope and acted out how it should be done for Sarah.

But it didn't make it any easier. It broke Sarah's heart to relay the news to the patient's son. She knew her bedside manner needed work, and the paranoia at her own abilities just made it all worse. She just hadn't grasped how to mix the compassion she had with her medical training and the diagnosis's she had to give.

In the space of the next few hours she had had three more patients to pronounce dead.

She couldn't complain about not getting enough practice. It was horrible, it made her stomach drop and she had to blink back tears after every call.

And she was so tired.

"Dr Reese? Dr Gellar would like to see you." A nurse stopped Sarah in the hallway.

"Oh, ok, thanks." She said before changing her direction and heading in the way of the on-call surgeons office.

"Ah, Dr Reese. How are you finding the night shift?" Dr Gellar asked as he invited Sarah in and shuffled around some papers.

"It's…different."

"It is a change of pace." The man smiled in understanding. "There's nothing wrong, I'm just catching up on some of my paperwork for what I'm covering for Dr Kingston. Dotting the I's and crossing the t's. And, I'm sure it's a simple clerical error, but you were in cardiology on time this morning? You were at my surgeries, so I can vouch for your attendance today." He smiled. "But I don't see you signing in for your consultations with Dr Baker this morning?"

"Actually, no, I was in the ED, there was an emergency case, I explained the situation after to Dr Baker though, he understands."

She watched Dr Gellar's carefree demeanour change in an instant.

"I'm sorry? Were you cleared to be in the ED? You were clearly assigned to be shadowing Dr Baker."

"Em…Dr Rhodes needed my assistance…"

"The man you're seeing?" He practically shot Sarah between the eyes.

Sarah swallowed, well technically they hadn't been on a _date_ yet, but by the way Dr Gellar was looking at her, she hardly though the specifics of their relationship was what Dr Gellar was worried about.

The other doctor sighed, "We have shadowing and mentoring in place for our new residents Dr Reese, we expect them to make the best of it. And I, like Dr Kingston, I'm sure, do not approve of private relationships interfere with your professional life."

"I understand." Sarah argued, "It was an emergency case. I didn't help because of Dr Rhodes and I…"

"You have promise, Dr Reese. You could go far, especially from what I have observed from your work today. But I expect better of our new residents than breaking our rules for the sake of private relationships. Consider this your first and only warning. You're excused."

Sarah wasn't used to getting into trouble. She followed rules to a tee since she could remember. She had understood the need of flexibility in the ED though. She decided that maybe the change in her wasn't such a bad thing.

She just nodded and mumbled something between an apology and thanks to Dr Gellar before leaving. She missed the staff she knew, she didn't know anyone on the night shift, and she wanted a friendly face right then.

To top it all off, she was called to pronounce another patient dead.

She was somewhere between being numb and being overloaded with emotions a few hours later.

Too much caffeine, too many dead patients, being reprimanded, and being practically insulted by Joey left Sarah completely drained by the time the sun rose and change of shift was signaled.

She left the hospital but didn't even remember how she had got to the door that was in front of her, but knocked anyway.

"Sarah?" Connor's voice sounded as soon as he came to the door. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Sarah shook her head before resting it in her hands.

"Sarah?"

The only answer she could give came out in muffled sobs. She felt pathetic. Utterly pathetic. And so tired.

She didn't register what was happening until he seemed to surround her. His scent, his arms, pulled her close and wrapped her up in him. She finally gave way, and wound her own arms around him, crying into his shirt.

"I can't do this. I've messed up everything. I've had too many deaths in one day. And the poor patients families! I'm not going to be good enough. I'm letting myself down, you down, the department down. I'm not who you should be with…I'm not your type, I'm awkward and…And I'm so tired." She stifled a sob, placing her hand in front of her mouth, wincing at the headache she had. But needing to give _some_ explanation as to why she would just turn up at his door this time in the morning.

All the time, he just nodded, and kissed her hair and led her inside to sit down.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be here, I…" She kicked herself, because she had cried at him before they had had a first date. That would surely make him change his mind, he couldn't like this new her, Joey definitely didn't…

"Yes, you should." He said, "I'm glad you're here okay?" He pulled her back to him when she tried to leave. "Shifts like that, they get to all of us at some stage. You just rest. I'm right here. And I don't plan on going anywhere Sarah." He said as she dropped her head to rest on his chest. "And you're a brilliant doctor, and an amazing person..." He kissed her head again and she found herself relaxing. She could hear his heart beating under his shirt, enough that it lulled her into a deep sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Sarah awoke with a start. Her dreams were haunted with misdiagnosis' and patients dying and their families chasing her. But she found that she couldn't move. Something was holding her place, or rather someone.

"Hey." Connor said softly and it took her a moment to open her eyes and gauge her surroundings. She was lying half on top of Connor who still had his arms wrapped around her.

She blinked a few times, to rid her reality of her nightmares and smiled at him, "Hi,"

But then the memories of her actions came flooding back to her, "I am so sorry..." She made to leave but he held her against his chest.

"Don't be." He repeated, "I'm glad you're here."

She left his words sink in and hug her like his arms were.

"You hungry?" He asked, kissing her hair.

"Yeah, I could eat." She was too tired and not yet awake enough to think about her words.

"Good." He said, then unwound himself from her and replaced himself with a cushion from the chair next to the sofa that she was now laying on. She watched him shuffle over to the kitchen as she lay her head back against the cushion. It wasn't the same as him.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up, "How long did I sleep for?"

He glanced at the clock on the wall as he took some things out of the refrigerator, "About two hours."

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"Don't be. I'm glad you're here." He shot her one of his proper smiles, something she hardly saw enough of in work. But she got it, they all needed to maintain some distance between themselves and the work. It was one of his smiles that she always found rather infectious.

She hugged the cushion and watched him get to work, "Anything I can help you with?"

"No, it's fine, I like cooking…"

She laughed softly as he frowned slightly at whatever he was chopping. "That doesn't stop me from helping…"

He sighed, then looked over and smiled in defeat. "I…I have to work with people all the time, I like doing this by myself…don't tell the rest of the team…"

"I won't." She said, liking the fact that he would admit it to her.

So she sat back and watched him work with the same precision as he did in the operating theatre. It was fascinating, and alluring, to watch.

When her feelings of uselessness began to seep in again, she got up to go and help set the table, something to keep her occupied. She got the cutlery out of the drawer he pointed to and they danced around each other like they did when treating a patient, like they already knew where the other was going and what they were doing.

"Oh no, Connor, I didn't even think, are you working today? I must be upsetting your plans…and I show up unannounced…" And she was just about to start rambling again when he interrupted her. She was starting to feel quite fond of his interruptions.

"Believe me, you're a welcome distraction." He said, turning to hold her waist and kiss her softly. "I'm on-call for trauma today and tonight. I wasn't doing anything today except pacing the floor waiting for my pager. _You_ just made my day a lot better."

Sarah couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face.

They sat down a little later to eat breakfast. Sarah mused that she had never enjoyed a breakfast so much before. The food he made was amazing and he kept looking at her like she was the sun that had rose that morning, in awe.

He eventually got her to relay her shift to him. He said he could still see her mulling over it, and he wasn't wrong. So she told about the patients. He listened intently, and even wiped away the tear that rolled down her face. Sometimes she just needed someone to listen.

She debated about telling him about Joey. But after demanding that _he_ talk to her, she figured it would be best not to hide anything. He had already taken her in like she was his long term girlfriend and not the girl he had yet to go on a date with, so she thought that she owed him the truth.

So she told him about her run in with Joey, the stupid remarks that made her doubt herself and the fact that they had been caught. She saw the change in him immediately, the tension in his muscles and the coldness seep into his gaze. She had to make him promise not to do anything stupid. Joey was her problem, and if he bothered her again, she would fix it.

Connor looked conflicted when she told him about the warning she had gotten.

"I shouldn't have asked you to help without clearance…" he admitted, "but I'm not going to regret it, I needed your help."

"I didn't give it a second thought…" Sarah admitted, "Which is new for me. But I really need to toe the line now, I can't lose this residency."

"You won't." He told her, covering her hand with his. "We'll just have to be more careful."

They cleared off the table afterwards, and found their spots back on the sofa. Putting on whatever movie he clicked on, she soon found that he was a person that talked his way through a movie. Complaining about the inaccuracies and his commentary had her laughing so hard she nearly cried. She threw the popcorn at him every now and again, but it only defeated the purpose of annoying him when he ate it instead. He pulled her close, so she rested her legs over his lap and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and played with her hair.

And then his pager beeped.

"And there it is…" He groaned. He sighed, leaning his head down so their foreheads met, "I don't want to leave…" He admitted.

And it hit her then. That he must get lonely too. He may be a big shot surgeon, but he was practically estranged from his family and childhood friends. He had moved around so much before that she didn't know if he had much friends that weren't from Med and could work around his timetable either.

"Hey, next time you see me outside of Med, you owe me that date right?"

For a second she was terrified that her sobbing at his door a few hours earlier would have turned him off that. But she shouldn't have been, because her words brought a smile back to his face and he agreed.

* * *

After leaving Connor's apartment when he left for his emergency call and getting home and getting a marathon sleeping session in, Sarah found the next week of shifts ran a lot smoother. Dr Kingston was back and Sarah felt like she was finally learning the ropes in cardiology. She felt it easier to work with Connor too, because she had set boundaries in her mind, but she didn't have to avoid him anymore. Since word of their rumoured relationship got around to her superiors, she felt under a lot more scrutiny, held to a higher standard. But she felt up for the challenge. She knew what she was doing, and learning more every day, she had her ED team behind her for advice should she need it, and she had Connor, someone to believe in her even when she couldn't believe in herself.

They had their coffees together in the mornings when they could and chatted on the phone after shifts. But between work and study and this new scrutiny she was under, she didn't even have time for Mollys. That was why she was looking forward to the following day. Her first shift off that coincided with Connors. The day of their first official date. Sarah got up that morning, and got dressed. Then she changed her outfit, and changed it again as the butterflies played havoc in her stomach. She realised she was being slightly ridiculous, but she didn't care. She was going on a date. With Connor.

The doorbell rang and she grabbed her bag and bolted down the stairs in record time and to the door before her housemates could get to it. She opened the door to reveal Connor standing on the other side, looking all dressed up and handsome and she could swear that he looked as nervous as she felt.

" _I don't so relationships well Sarah"_ He had said, so his nervous demeanour made sense to her now. This _thing_ between them was as important to him as it was to her.

After nervous greeting and a kiss that did nothing to calm her racing heart, they started their walk to the nearest train station, forgoing his car for the real tourist experience. They fell into a nice rhythm, letting go of the medical jargon they used around each other at work and replacing it with life stories, stupid jokes and stolen glances. He even bought a polaroid camera with him to record her experience at all the tourist hot spots.

She had to complicated his photography skills when he took pictures of her on the Sky Deck of the Wallis Tower. He pointed out spots along the streets that he had grown up on that had a story to with them. It was along their walk on the bustling walkways of the Navy Pier that he reached her for hand, for fear of losing her in the crowds. She wasn't complaining about it. Her day felt even more like it was from a movie when their hands fit together perfectly. They got their picture taken together outside Wringley Stadium. They wandered through Lincoln Park, where Connor knew the best stops. And if her hand ever left his, he reached for it straightaway. She half wondered if she would ever be able to stop smiling ever again.

They were making their way along the streets again, where the street lights were beginning to turn on when Sarah noticed the brightest building on the opposite side of the street.

"We can go in, if you want." He said, but she could see the pain and confliction flicker across his face when he followed her gaze to look at Rhodes Department Stores. "Most tourists do love having a look around."

"No, I don't care…" She said, shrugging and scrunching up her nose at the place that obviously had played a large, and unhealthy, part in Connor's life.

Sure, she had heard nothing but good things about the store and legacy from her housemates when they finally realised the man who had kept Sarah enthralled in their kitchen that evening was none other than a _Rhodes_. But she wouldn't step foot inside the place. She wouldn't, she couldn't, do that to him, not when she saw the pain in his eyes.

So he just nodded and they kept walking, Sarah stopping to take pictures of the long avenues that were lit up against the weaning light of the sunshine. Connor brought her to a small restaurant down a small side street that he promised was his favourite place in all of Chicago.

"You know, that's what I didn't understand about you at first." He stated after they got their menus.

"What?" She asked.

"You weren't suddenly charmed by my name. You didn't treat me any differently like some people did when they found out."

"Well, I was more charmed by _you_ , not your name." She admitted and the words were out of her mouth before she could take them back, causing a blush to creep onto her cheeks.

"But you didn't think _Rhodes_ …when you found out I was me…you didn't treat me any differently."

"I didn't care if you were rich or not. You were a great doctor, and you were patient and nice with me. You saw _me_ , even when I was a floundering medical student…" She shrugged. "So I didn't really care if you had grew up as a rich kid or not. I figure there's more to people than their money anyway."

He stared over at her and shook his head with a smile. "Thank you." He said with such sincerity that they didn't the notice the waitress coming back to take their orders.

"And, at the risk of bolstering your ego, I ordered that green salad on purpose. I didn't need you to win e over with fancy expensive food. I was already on your side."

"A hazard that comes with growing up with money." He shrugged, "I _was_ trying to get people on my side. I know what it's like to have people work against me rather than with me. And when people figure out my name comes with what it does, it tends to really win them over." He confessed.

They got their orders and waded through the various magnets and trinkets and pictures that they had accumulated during their day. Night fell quickly outside. But inside, in dimmed lights and Connor for company, Sarah couldn't imagine a better way to spend a night.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

 _I've never been to Chicago so I was trusting tourist websites when I picked out the places they would visit, so I apologize if visiting all those places in one day it isn't terribly realistic, I just didn't want their date to end :)_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It took Sarah awhile to get used to the idea that she was properly _dating_ Connor Rhodes. After that first date, they settled into a rhythm of morning meet-ups and he scheduled his time around the time she had free from work and study. Will still hadn't told anyone, as far as Sarah could gauge. And she worked hard enough that nobody in cardiology could doubt her, and revert back to blaming her relationship with Dr Rhodes.

Between their schedules, she and Connor went to see movie marathons in the cinema that Sarah used to de-stress in when she was on her student rotation. Connor would call around to her house whenever she had spent too long studying to deliver food and coffee. Connor brought her to the Hawaiian bar that was Dr Downey's favourite and Sarah brought them on a picnic date in Lincoln Park.

She had gotten through another few heart surgeries and had even been invited to the cardiology residents' night out that was planned for the following month. Connor was still juggling trauma with cardiology and was finally finding a way of working with the new surgeons, that didn't measure up Dr Downey, but he was beginning to become fond of. She had a rare day off and Connor was only on call so she found herself sitting at his breakfast bar watching him cook them dinner.

The nervousness around him had all but vanished but that didn't mean the butterflies disappeared. Every time that he would smile or laugh at something she said, or remember a tiny detail about her life, or kiss her when she wasn't expecting it, they would flutter around inside her.

"Is it like surgery? Follow the directions?" She pondered while observing his methods.

"You want a go?" He asked, looking up from where he was cutting something up.

"I thought you didn't like anybody in your kitchen?" She smiled from where her head was resting in her hands on top of the counter.

"You're not just anybody." He stated while he threw something into a bowl and looked back around to her.

There went the butterflies and flutter of her heart.

She hopped off the stool apprehensively and rounded the island to him, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Okay, take this…" he said, transferring the electric whisk to her hand, while holding the bowl with his own. "and just hold it lightly like this…"

He was close enough to completely derail her thoughts but she forced herself to focus on the task at hand. "Okay?" He asked.

"Mmm hmm." She nodded, biting her lip in focus.

He let go of her hand with the whisk and everything was going okay until he let go of the bowl, and she was too distracted by his movements to think to hold the bowl in place. It slipped and the whisk went with it and whatever the mixture was in the bowl went flying. Landing over the counter top and spattering all over her top and even landing on her cheek.

He was all around her in an instant, shutting off the offending whisk, and catching the bowl before it hit the ground. Embarrassment burned her cheeks as she tried in vain to wipe the mixture off her top.

"That's why you shouldn't let people in your kitchen." She half laughed and half moaned in defeat.

A smile played on his lips, "In fairness, I would have burnt the entire dinner if you kept standing there biting your lip and looking so distracting."

She felt her cheeks burn for an entirely different reason.

"Here, I'll finish this, you go and get a shirt to change into, I'll throw that one into the wash for you." He said, while wiping the food off her cheek with his thumb. "There are some in the top drawer of the dresser in my room."

"Okay. I think it's safer for both of us if I stay out of your kitchen anyway." She somehow found her voice and laughed.

She wandered over to the door that she knew lead into his room and looked back to where he was bustling around the kitchen again and let herself in.

His scent hit her straight away. And she found the room to be nearly as bare as the rest of his apartment. It was bigger than the spare bedroom she had stayed in, with views that awed her.

She didn't want him to think that she was snooping so she quickly made her way over to the dresser and picked the first t-shirt she laid her hands on and had changed before she noticed the view pieces of personal furnishings that he had decorated with.

His various medical certificates were framed on the wall. And on his bedside locker sat two framed pictures. The first one was of a woman that she knew straight away had to be his mother. She had his eyes and the same mess of black hair and was hugging two children that were beaming at the camera. The boy had to be Connor and Sarah assumed the other little girl was Claire. The other picture that stood beside it had a younger Connor in with a mix of different people in the sunshine, somewhere exotic looking.

She swerved around when he called to ask if she was okay and called back before folding her own top and was about to leave when she noticed the only other photo in the room. One of the polaroid's photographs that had been taken of them together on their first date was stuck to the mirror on his wardrobes. It was one that she had thought that she had misplaced. She swore her smile couldn't get any bigger and her heart swelled with glee. She was one of the few tokens that he kept on view when at home.

She had just made it to the laundry bin and back to the kitchen, in one of his t-shirts that looked more like a dress on her, when the door rang. He frowned in confusion and excused himself to answer it. She reclaimed her seat at the island before she heard voices coming down the hallway.

Sarah didn't like the situation at all. She was sat in Connor's clothes and her hair was frizzing from the heat of the kitchen when Connor walked back in with a woman in tow. Sarah vaguely remembered her from her first few weeks on student rotation, but she knew who she was instantly because she had seen her moments before, in the picture on his bedside locker.

"Sarah, this is my sister, Claire." He said. "Claire, this is my girlfriend, Sarah Reese."

It took Sarah a few seconds to process the fact that he had called her his girlfriend before she hopped down from the stool and shook Claire's hand. "Hi, it's nice to meet you." She said in earnest.

"It's nice to meet you Sarah." His sister had his same no-nonsense manner that he had when dealing with situations he wasn't fond of, Sarah noted.

"You didn't tell me you were calling." Connor mentioned as he went about draining and fixing up the food he was cooking.

"I didn't know I needed to announce myself." She said it lightly but Sarah didn't miss the shadowed glares that sat between the siblings.

Sarah was trying to focus on breathing so much that she forgot that she was sitting there, completely mute, while his sister took a seat beside her. And she badly wanted to make a good impression. Because she was officially his girlfriend now.

"You don't." He shot back.

"Well, I didn't realise I would be interrupting anything. You never do much on your days on call."

Sarah would have missed it if she hadn't been looking at Connor, the slight glance he threw in Sarah's direction and the subsequent frown that formed when he saw her looking like she wanted to bolt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to run my schedule by you in that much detail…" He deadpanned as he rested on Sarah's side on the opposite side of the counter.

"Oh well you have record of not keeping me informed, remember." Claire shot back

Sarah wanted to make a good impression but she felt the need to jump in before she was the catalyst for another falling out between the siblings, that had startling similar tempers.

"Oh you're not interrupting anything, we were just having dinner…" Sarah jumped in to tell Claire and sent a quick hard look at Connor, trying to tell him to back down.

He did just that and turned around to make sure nothing burned.

Sarah could have swore she saw a smile flicker over Claire's features but if it did, it was gone before it even formed properly.

"So, what is it you do Sarah? Model? Act?" Claire directed the last two words at Connor's back, and Sarah had enough siblings to notice Claire's attempt at goading her older brother. It worked because she could practically see his eyes darken when he turned back around to defend her.

"Actually, I'm a cardiology resident, at Med." Sarah spoke up before an argument could break out.

"A doctor?" She watched Claire's eyebrows rise.

"Sometimes I wonder that myself, but yes." She tried to smile, to offer a joke, anything to get the woman's approval.

"You're a great doctor, Sarah." Connor said on instinct, looking her in the eye with a frown that meant he wasn't happy with her selling herself short and momentarily forgetting his sister was in the room.

"I'm impressed. Not many people get the Connor Rhodes seal of approval." Claire commented.

"So…Connor mentioned you work in your family's business?" Sarah grappled for any topic that would deter the attention from herself.

"Well." She shrugged, " _Someone_ had to take over the family business."

Sarah swallowed and wanted to kick herself for bringing it up.

"I'm sure you're doing a great job." She offered, and watched Connor send her a smile over his sisters shoulder from the fridge at her attempt at conversation.

"Well I should get going I suppose, I don't want to ruin your evening." Claire said as she stood up and fixed her bag on her shoulder.

"Oh no, don't leave because of me." Sarah jumped up too. Because of the brief mentions that Connor made of Claire, Sarah was painfully away of the guilt he carried around with him for leaving his sister and his want, _need_ , to rebuild the bridges that had been destroyed. "Honestly, we can do this another time right?" She asked Connor, who glanced between her and Claire. "You should have dinner with Connor, I already nearly ruined his attempt at cooking, you're probably a safer option as a guest…we can catch up in Molly's later right?"

Connor's expression softened, "You sure?"

"Of course." Sarah said, then bit back her instinct to kiss him goodbye in front of Claire, she bounced awkwardly on her feet before turning to Claire. "Emm…it was nice to meet you. Enjoy your evening." She smiled and was slightly surprised when Claire smiled back. It lit her face up the way Connor's smiles did.

"Sarah," He half called while she went to leave and she spun on the spot.

"Yeah?" She asked before he gave her a kiss goodbye. "Thank you." He murmured quietly.

"Call me later?" She told him before excusing herself and bereft herself for not making a better impression on Claire Rhodes.

* * *

And he did just that. He called her and told her about the time he had with Claire. Something he had been missing lately and thanked her again.

He wasn't the only person to call her though. Hannah, her younger sister by two years, called too. They were always told that they were chalk and cheese. Hannah was everything that Sarah wasn't, she was outgoing and always the life of the party. She had blonde hair and working in business. She was in Chicago on a last minute business trip with whatever company she was working with. They were going out with the team and Hannah rang to ask what the name of the bar that Sarah was always mentioning. She figured she could give her team a good night out and also catch up with her older sister before flying home the next morning.

Sarah was beyond excited. If there was one thing that she regretted about her choice of career, it was the lack of contact that she had with her family. Sure, she called her parents every other day and messaged her sisters every day but it wasn't the same as seeing them all the time.

Sarah told Hannah to bring the team to Molly's and then relayed the information to Connor as she got ready. She could _hear_ him smiling through the phone when he mentioned how excited she sounded. She couldn't help it, she was the big sister, and she couldn't wait to see at least one of her baby sisters.

She finally made it to Molly's where Dawson immediately greeted her from where she was cleaning up one of the tables. "Long time no see! How are you doing?"

"Good thanks, getting used to life in cardiology, I think." She smiled.

"That's great to hear. Go up to the bar, Herrmann is serving." She excused herself as she got caught up in some light-hearted argument with some of the firefighters.

Sarah manoeuvred around the space that was bustling with people, before her eyes found Connor. She caught a glimpse of him sitting at the bar, talking to a woman. Or rather, the woman was talking at him, it seemed. There was nothing wrong with that, she mused, it was the fact that the woman was wearing a very revealing outfit and fawning over him.

 _Model? Act?_

Sarah couldn't help it, Claire's words rebounded around her head. Because that woman beside Connor was more his type wasn't she? Sarah wasn't stupid, she knew he had admirers in the hospital, he was a renowned surgeon, with a Chicago renowned name. Self-doubt hit her with such force that she wondered if she was still breathing. She never believed in her own abilities, and she was sometimes awkward and her hair was certainly not as sleek as that woman's curtain of shiny and sleek blonde hair.

She didn't think that Connor would cheat on her, something she was certain of, but Sarah couldn't help but wonder if he would be better off with the woman beside him. Someone who was confident and not completely mess-up her encounter with his sister. Someone who would always say the right things. Someone who wasn't awkward and self-depreciating as she was.

Before she could overthink things too much, Connor's eyes met hers over the head of the woman fawning over him. And she saw him sigh in relief. The woman turned around as Sarah approached. She was sure she nearly fell out of her standing when the woman turned around and revealed herself to be none other than Hannah.

Someone who was successful and always confident in herself.

"Sarah!" Her sister exclaimed before throwing herself at her and giving her a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you."

"Oh sorry," Sarah watched as Hannah turned back to Connor to apologise, "This is my sister, Sarah."

"We've met before." He smiled, then turned his attention to Sarah, "Hey Sweetheart."

"What's your name again?" Hannah asked Connor.

"I didn't tell you." Connor told her.

"Hey," Sarah tried to smile but her thoughts were still picking away at her heart. "Hannah, this is Connor." And when nothing seemed to register with her sister, she repeated herself, " _Connor."_

"You're _Connor_. Oh my gosh! It's so nice to meet you." She turned back around to shake his hand while Connor looked slightly bemused.

" _That's_ why you weren't interested." Hannah went on, "Cute guy by himself, basically ignored me, I was wondering what that was about…" She laughed, "I'll get you a drink." She told Sarah before excusing herself.

"So...you've met Hannah." Sarah said, watching her sister go. "She's always been more outgoing than me." She mused out loud.

"I'm glad you're here." He said, wrapping his arm around her waist. "You're sister is…ah…" He frowned, thinking about his words. "…Charming?"

"She's something alright. She got her looks from Mom, everyone says I look like my Dad." She couldn't help the frown, "She's always been vivacious and got the guys…" She started murmering off reasons why her sister was better than her but Connor cut in.

"She's a bit much." He admitted, "I don't mean any offense, but I think I got the right Reese." He smiled and she could feel her self-doubt release it's clutch on her heart. Because he stared at her like she was the only thing that mattered in the room. He looked so perfectly contented and happy just looking in her eyes and having her by his side, that she couldn't doubt that he liked her just as much as she liked him.

"So don't freak out and go all doctor on me" Hannah said as she came back, "But they changed Dad's heart tablets again."

"What?" Sarah exclaimed as she took the drink from her sister and Connor squeezed her waist in support.

"I figured it was better you heard in person." Hannah shrugged, "The doctors said it was fine, but Dad told me to give you their number anyways, he knew you'd want to double check…"

"Of course I do! I told him to ring me if he…"

"Sarah, he knows your life is hectic, just give him a call tomorrow. He's fine." She reiterated.

Sarah just sighed, "Okay." Because she knew her sister, if Sarah panicked, it sent her three younger sisters panicking too.

"I better get back over to my boss for a little while." Hannah rolled her eyes, "It was good meeting you." She shook Connor's hand, before pulling him closer. "But you hurt my beautiful sister and I _will_ hurt you."

"We're a loyal family." Sarah said as way of explanation while they watched her sister glide over to the other side of the bar.

"That must be nice." He commented.

"Hey, I hope you didn't mind earlier…" He said, after a silence.

"About what?" Sarah asked.

"I called you my girlfriend…" He smiled.

"I was hoping I am your girlfriend." She admitted, risking a glance over at him.

He practically beamed at her, "Just making sure we're on the same page." He said, "Relationships? Complicated." He sighed.

So she intertwined her fingers with his to reassure him, "I like to think we're doing well..."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this, I'd love to know what you think :)_

 _I forgot to mention before that I'm completely making up Sarah's family and home life, just so you know._


	13. Chapter 13

Connor didn't seemed too fazed by the contrast of personalities between Sarah and Hannah, and made sure to buy the sisters drinks before they had to call it a night. In turn, Sarah had to sit through a group phone call between her and her three sisters over the many good qualities that Connor possessed and how she had held out on all the good details. Hannah raved on about him and Sarah, as the other two listened intently and oohed and awed in all the right places. Sarah had just laughed along. They had always pegged Sarah as the most romantic of the four sisters, with her notions of fairy tales and happy endings growing up, but it all took a backseat when she went into medicine and realized that maybe life wasn't always like the movies. But she hadn't told them all that much about Connor, for fear of jinxing it. Because things with Connor was too much like a fairy tale to go talking about too much, for fear of losing it completely.

She was scheduled in for assisting in major open heart surgery for a high profile client a few days later. She had studied cases and cross-referenced notes with other residents and read and researched until the words blurred from tiredness. But it was what she loved about her job. She loved learning. She was a self-proclaimed geek and had always been teased about being a nerd but now it just helped her be able for her job. Will had showed her where he found the best new journal articles and Maggie was working with her on her bedside manner when they had time.

She sat there, her coffee barely touched and not hearing what Connor was talking about. Until he reached across to cover her hand with his. She jumped at the contact, having been lost in running through the complex procedure in her head.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" She managed to pull herself from her thoughts to look back at him.

"Nothing important." He shook his head. "You'll be okay today. And anyway, feel honoured, I haven't had the impression that Kingston brings in the lower residents into those types of surgeries. At all."

"Yeah, it's just…" She said, tapping her foot with nerves, when April burst into the room.

"I'm not the only one who is early." She smiled, when she saw the pair, Connor retracting his hand across the table so she wouldn't see. They had agreed that they should tell their ED family but they hadn't been to Molly's together since they had started dating, and Sarah didn't want to throw everyone off their work during shifts.

Their shifts were starting soon anyway, so Sarah sent Connor a smile and April reminded her to call around the ED for lunch, apparently the ED staff were missing her hovering around the department.

Despite her nerves, and possibly because of her over-preparation, the surgery went well. She did everything that was expected of her. She kept a steady pace and a level head. And even got a nod of approval afterwards from Drs Kingston and Gellar. Sarah was on a high from the adrenaline of the surgery when she made her way to wander around the ED and grab one of her family for a spot of lunch.

But it was panic when she got there. Natalie and Doris were working with an injured child and Ethan looked to be stopping the parents in their tracks. Will and Maggie met an ambulance and she heard Will calling to page Dr Rhodes. Trauma patients were never a good sign. She was met by Connor himself on her way back to the cafeteria, and they shared the briefest of smiles before he told her tell him about the surgery later on. Despite her lunch plans going awry, Sarah couldn't complain about her day, she had assisted in a successful surgery, shadowed a cardiology fellow and caught an extremely rare heart defect in a patient.

She left her department with a smile on her face but as soon as she walked into the doctors' lounge, she was hit with a sudden change in atmosphere. Connor was sat alone, glaring at a computer screen.

"Hey…" She greeted and he momentarily glanced her way, before reverting back to the screen in front of him.

"Hey."

"You okay, Connor?" She asked, because she saw the way he was hunched over the screen, his hands were clasped in front of him, and he kept alternating between sighing and growling at the results in front of him.

"Connor?" She asked again when her words didn't seem to register.

"Sarah." He said, turning around to look at her, her words breaking through whatever bubble he had been in. "Yeah I'm fine." He shook his head, "Rough case."

"Are you sure? If you need anything…" She asked, approaching him, and wishing she could say the right things to make him feel better just like he always seemed to do for her.

He rubbed his face, then looked up at her through tired eyes, "I'll be fine Sarah, just glad shift is over, I can't wait to sleep it off. I'm glad I got see you." He mustered enough of a smile to put her mind at ease.

He clicked at the computer a few times, shutting it down and got up and rolled his neck, "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked before kissing her on the cheek.

"Of course." She smiled. "Are you sure…?"

"I'm fine." He remained adamant so she trusted his word. He left soon after. Promising to call her later. She went about packing up and retrieving her things from her locker where Connor's note was now accompanied by the photo that they had got taken together on their first date. It never faltered to put a smile on her face. Especially now that she knew he had one too.

* * *

Sarah was just after leaving the doctors lounge, on her way up to cardiology after her break the following day when Maggie called her over. Sarah smiled and made her way over to where Maggie, April, Doris and Natalie all stood together as the ED experienced one of it's very elusive lull moments.

"Sarah, are you seeing what we're seeing?" Maggie asked, turning Sarah ever so slightly to look where the group of women were throwing glances over at. There stood Connor, flipping through a patient chart, consulting with the epidemiologist, Dr Charles' daughter, Robyn. Sarah didn't know what they were looking at except maybe the idle annoyed glance that Connor threw at the other doctor.

She supposed that the other women didn't see the way he hung his head, or the slight drop in his shoulders. Sarah considered it an extremely rough case that Connor had had the day before, because while he did call her after like he had promised, he sounded slightly distanced, but she had put it down to tiredness. But as she stood looking at him, she made a note to ask him later if he was okay, because he didn't look like he was okay now.

"What...what are you seeing?" She asked, playing with the stethoscope in her hands, trying not to give herself away.

"They are _so_ sleeping together." April explained.

"What?" Sarah didn't mean for her question to come out with such a strangled sound.

"Oh yeah, I heard it from some of the nurses in the psychiatric department..." Doris chipped in.

Words seemed to get stuck in Sarah's throat, she couldn't shoot down the rumours without revealing the truth and she didn't want the truth to erupt around her in work. "Did you?" She swallowed.

"Apparently Dr Charles is _not_ happy." Natalie said.

"Oh..." She replied.

"Yes, oh." Maggie exclaimed, "I thought you liked him? We need to work on this because everyone thinks they're a cute couple." She said, pursing her lips at the so-called happy couple.

"They're not a cute couple." Sarah argued, trying to keep her level-headedness but floundering when she saw Robyn touch Connor's arm and smiled a little too fondly. But her heart argued back that people fawned over him all the time, and he had reminded her that he liked her better.

It didn't help the slightly irrational thoughts that wove their way into her mind.

"We need to get rid of her." April nodded in agreement and a determined look settled on her face.

"We could get her fired…" Doris seemed to contemplate the idea and Sarah panicked.

"What, no. No. You guys…"

"You and him would be much cuter." Maggie placated her, placing a comforting arm on the younger woman's arm.

"We'd just need to plan it." Natalie waved away Sarah's protests and narrowed her eyes. "Will's always up for some controversary, he wouldn't mind helping…"

" _You know,_ it would be quite easy for her to pick up one of those diseases she works with…" April told the rest of the group.

"That's true." Maggie said, blantendly staring at Connor and Robyn, enough for Connor to feel the gaze and lift his head to look over.

His eyes found Sarah and his lips quirked into a quick smile.

"He is so smitten…" Maggie added and that's when Sarah looked back at the group that had formed and noticed the bright smiles on the women's faces. It felt like a lightbulb went off in her head.

"You know!" She laughed, "You all know!" She looked around at the four faces, "How did you find out?"

"Why didn't you tell us?" Maggie countered, giving up at the façade altogether.

"I was planning on telling people when we're not in work, I just haven't had time off..." Sarah ended up mumbling her defence.

"Well Herrmann told Gabby who mentioned it to me last time they were here on a call." Maggie said.

"That and we finally broke Will, it was blatantly obvious the man was keeping a secret, it didn't take us long to rattle it out of him when we knew what it was." Natalie rolled her eyes in fondness.

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't sure…" Sarah wavered, "Cardiology isn't too happy with us dating, and I didn't want to make a big deal of it here…"

"Don't be silly, we are so happy for you!" April told her.

"And that explains the big smile on your face that hasn't disappeared since Owen's birthday." Natalie smiled.

Sarah was saved by the literal bell of a dozen pagers with an oncoming accident. The women remained adamant that had to have a catch up and she had to tell them the entire 'Sarah and Connor story' at a later date before they went back to action.

* * *

Sarah was leaving to catch her bus at the end of her shift a few hours later when she heard her name being called amid the wailing of sirens and noise of Med. She spun around to see none other than Claire Rhodes waving her hand and catching up with her.

"Claire, hi." Sarah smiled and stopped, "Connor's not with me, he's actually been called back up into surgery in the last hour..." Something that bothered Sarah, because she couldn't contact him about his day.

"Oh it's not him I came to see, you're just the person I was looking for." Claire said when she reached her and let her continue walking, falling right into step beside her.

"Oh." Sarah wondered just how many time she had to be blindsided today.

"Yeah." Claire smiled, one not un-similar to Connor's, "Normally, I don't have any interactions with Connor's girlfriends, but you, you I like."

 _That_ was not the impression that Sarah had gotten when she had met Claire first. She felt like she had fallen over her words and was hardly material that was usually up to scratch to be dating a _Rhodes._

"Thanks..." Sarah offered, unsure of what else to say.

"Of course. Besides, you have a brain, and I have never seen any girl _get_ him like you do. He respects you and you make him happy. So I'm happy." Claire smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Anyway, knowing my brother," Sarah watched as Claire rolled her eyes in jest, "He probably hasn't even given you any idea on what to wear tomorrow night."

Sarah racked her wearied brain for any mention of plans for the following night but nothing came to mind.

"I know the invite says black tie optional, but he knows people get all fussed about it every year. And I figured he gave no consideration to the fact that you are a woman and we need options and where would you get the time to go looking for something to wear...yellow is such a hard colour to find this time of year anyway..."

As Claire rambled on, Sarah was becoming more and more confused, like she was getting more questions than answers.

"So I thought if you had time now, or I can pencil something in, that you can stop by the store, or I can even come to you if that suits?"

"I'm sorry." Sarah said and stopped in place, leaving Claire to turn back to her in confusion. "What occasion are we talking about? I don't remember Connor mentioning anything..."

Claire didn't wear her mask as well as Connor, because Sarah could see the slight confusion and weariness flash across her face before she replaced it with cheerfulness. "Oh, it's probably slipped his mind to tell you. It's the charity gala we hold ever year, in our mother's memory, it's on tomorrow night. It's the one thing that made him come home to Chicago every year. Don't worry about it, I'm sure he'll tell you." Claire waved a hand in disregard of her brothers scheduling abilities, "And obviously not give you enough time to prepare, see what I mean?"

Sarah smiled, having no reason to think otherwise, he had been in undated with trauma surgeries recently. She could only agree with Claire's opinion of not giving her enough time to prepare, because this, apparently, was the gala of the year, and the Rhodes family were in the spotlight. By the time Claire had found out Sarah had worked a fifteen hour shift, she made some calls and ensured the younger girl that the clothes would meet them at Sarah's house.

Claire paid for a cab to bring them home, where she insisted on helping Sarah find the perfect outfit. She informed Sarah that there would practically be vultures at the event, what with her being on the arm of Connor Rhodes. The man, Claire explained while rolling her eyes again, did nothing to dampen his reputation. He was well-known enough as being a Rhodes, but now he had to add hotshot surgeon to the package. He was the ultimate catch. And Claire told Sarah that they had to show the crowds that he wasn't up for catching anymore, he had Sarah.

Sarah was slightly embarrassed about letting Claire into her room, that looked more like Med's library than a bedroom, but the woman didn't falter. She organised the outfits and went about matching the colours. Which yellows were out and which were in. She sat on the bed as Sarah changed and explained that yellow always played a predominant part in the gala. Sarah didn't miss the grief that haunted the woman's eyes at the explanation that yellow had always been her mother's favourite colour. So she was tactically putting Sarah in yellow, to prove that Sarah was in the Rhodes inner circle and that Connor was no longer on the market.

Sarah was convinced it was all a fairy-tale now. Claire Rhodes was in her room, making her try on outfits that would have taken Sarah months to pay off. It was like Claire was her fairy godmother and Sarah couldn't help her head and heart latching onto the idea that maybe Connor was her Prince Charming after all. After trying on about ten different versions of yellow dresses and dress suits, they finally settled on one. A soft yellow dress, fitted but floated out slightly at her waist, glamorous and elegant and Sarah had never felt more like a princess.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading!

I'm going with the idea of younger Sarah having romantic notions as I think she's quite idealistic in her work in the show, wanting everything to turn out good and happy. I thought it made sense for her to be idealistic when she was young too, but I'm sorry if this seems out of character.

Hope you enjoyed this :)

The next chapter is coming soon...the night of the Rhodes gala event...


	14. Chapter 14

Sarah made Claire hot chocolate and they sat and chatted while Claire flicked through her personal planner and made some calls for Sarah's hair and make-up done before the gala the following evening. Sarah mentioned how jealous her little sisters would be when they heard and Claire even shared a story or two about her mother.

Claire had to go soon after, plenty left to tick off her to-do list, and Sarah repeated her thanks and even offered to pay for her expenses. Something that would take her months to do, but Claire waved her off. She was glad to help.

"So, Claire told you about the gala huh?" Sarah picked up the phone at Connor's call later that night and was met by a tone she hadn't heard before. Something between regret and indecisiveness.

"Yeah, she found me after work," Sarah replied, keeping her voice light, "You should have seen it! She had this whole collection of clothes in my room. I think they would have paid off my student loans with interest." She laughed.

But he didn't laugh in reply, it was something between a scoff and a sigh. "That's Claire."

"She likes me. She actually likes me. I didn't think she did." She admitted.

"I know she does, I told you that…"

"Well you have to say that." She smiled to herself, "It usually takes people a while to get to like me…And she has my hair and make up planned? I just agreed, she's like a force of nature when she wants something done..."

"I liked you." He cut in.

"What?"

"You said it takes people a while to warm up to you, I liked you the first time I met you."

"I know." She iterated as clearly as she could, because she could hear the annoyance dripping into his voice. "So, hey, em, what time should I meet you at?"

"For what?" He sounded distracted, and she could hear the traffic in the background and glanced at the clock, he was only driving home now.

"For the gala?"

"You want to go?" And the disbelief in his voice threw her. She would have thought that he would know she wanted to be there for him.

"I just thought…"

"Fine. You want to go. I'll pick you up at eight." This time she heard the angered sigh on the other side of the phone line.

"Connor, are you…?"

"Look Sarah, it's fine alright. The traffic's bad tonight and I just want to get home. You're distracting me." But it was the first time he had told her that with enough coldness that nearly reached through the phone and clutched at her heart. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight." She said, but he had already cut off the phone line.

She thanked her lucky stars that she had the next day off, not that she could get much study done when she was worried about Connor. He had never been so _off_ toward her, not since they had gotten together.

The hair and makeup people came by right on time, and Sarah could finally give up the façade of studying. She got into her dress and sent pictures to her sisters and mother. She was never a girl who spent so much time on dressing up. And if she were honest with herself, she felt sick with nerves the entire day. Because the woman in the mirror looking back at her was a stranger. The woman wore clothes Sarah could never afford, her hair was styled within an inch of its life. Sarah had stopped trying to change her hair back in high school when she was bullied for it. It was part of her. Something she wasn't going to apologize for.

She wasn't bred for the world she was about to enter. The world of the rich and elite were not the circles Sarah had ever been in before. She felt like a child going to an adult's party. She didn't know the etiquette, or who was who, or what to say. She was totally unprepared. She was just Sarah.

But she was doing it for Connor. And she had to remind herself that he didn't like that world any more than she did. And it was for his mother. Something that he rarely talked of, but she knew the life he had run from must be like a thorn in his side.

He picked her up at eight. And it nearly stopped her in her tracks. Because he was always breathtakingly handsome. But now he was in a tuxedo. And she didn't know how she was going to keep her lungs working.

"You look…wonderful." He said, taking a breath, as she turned on the spot. She mightn't like the idea of the rich world that Connor wasn't fond of, but she couldn't help but like feeling good in the dress. "You're carriage is here." He swept his hand back around to where a limo was waiting for her.

She gaped and blinked twice, "Are…are you serious?"

"I'm a Rhodes." He deadpanned and gave no more explanation as he took her hand and led her to it.

"Are you okay Connor?" She asked, before she got into it from where he was holding the door open for her.

"It's not my favourite night of the year." He said with a shrug, but he was looking over the limo into lights of Chicago. He got into the seat on the opposite side and she had never felt more space between them.

"So…All your family is going to be here?" She couldn't help the nerves that were bounding around inside of her at the thought. She was terrified and she just wanted to be good enough for him.

"Yeah." He sighed, "I only really care about Claire and Pops though. The rest are mostly just after the money I've got, and don't even get me started on people who insist that they're my friends..."

"Okay." She said, while smoothing out the non-existent creases in the skirt of her dress, and committed his words to memory.

Her phone beeped and she looked at it, "My sisters." She laughed, "They can't believe this entire thing either." She read the messages that she had gotten back about the dress, the event and Connor. As well as the reassuring message from her mother that her Dad was okay, the new medication was working well.

"Are you wearing yellow then?" Sarah asked, trying to beat up some sort of conversation. "Claire mentioned…"

He held up the sleeves of his tux, where his cufflinks were actually yellow jewels in the shape daisies, "Claire had them made for me because they were Mom's favourite flowers. Dad hates them, so it adds an incentive to wear them."

She just nodded along, at loss for words to say. It felt like he was falling from her grip, and the thought terrified her. Because he cared about, and she didn't know why he was at such a distance.

They arrived not long after, she finally got him to discuss some of the surgeries he had dealt with recently. He lost two patients back to back. She knew the toll that practicing medicine had on everyone, she just hoped that that was the only thing keeping his mind so pre-occupied.

The limo stopped, and Connor got out first, he came around and opened her door, holding his hand out for her.

"Let's make this quick." He whispered in her ear as he placed her hand on the crook of his arm and made their way up the steps outside the vast building that loomed over them, cast in a soft yellow light, with a crowd already filing in and out and with cameras flashing in every direction.

She was glad that Connor was looking at her, but looking for a way to get through the crowd, because then he couldn't see the terrified look on her face. She tried to rearrange her face to something resembling a smile but she was way out of her depth. Women practically floated around in their dresses and the camera flashes were blinding. She felt like mutton dressed as lamb. And she couldn't help but feel that Connor should be seen with someone better than her.

They finally made it inside and were caught immediately.

"Connor, Sarah!" Claire called and rushed, elegantly in her long yellow gown, over to them. She gave them both kisses on the cheeks.

Claire nodded in approval as she told Sarah to spin. "Doesn't she look amazing?" She asked her older brother.

"Yeah." Connor nodded, but he was distracted, looking around the crowd.

"Dad hasn't arrived yet." Claire told Connor in a stern voice, drawing his attention back to the two women. "Pops is over by the buffet table."

"Of course." Connor shared a smile with Claire at the words, and Sarah felt like she was on the outside looking in. Like she was behind the glass of the operating theatre.

"We should go say hello." He turned to look at Sarah, the first real smile he had given her all evening, and placed a hand at the small of her back to lead her over. "See you Sis."

Sarah lost Claire in the crowd before she could say goodbye was met with another Rhodes soon enough.

"Pops, hey," Connor placed his hand on the older man's shoulder and side-stepped around him.

"Connor, how are you?" The man, well dressed, with a shock of white hair pulled Connor into a hug.

"I'm good, how are you?" Connor's smile, Sarah thought, could have lit up the entire room.

"I keep busy. This bloody ordeal every year, you know as well as I do that your mother would have hated it, but it keeps Claire happy..." The older man rolled his eyes discreetly, "And who is this?"

"Pops, this is my girlfriend, Dr Sarah Reese," Connor swallowed, "Sarah, this is my grandfather."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Sarah smiled, while she shook his hand.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you Sarah." He said, "A doctor as well, hmph, you make sure this man treats you well, I thought him well. But." He paused, looking Sarah in the eye, "You look like a girl that can keep my grandson in line."

"Thank you…?" She half asked, half took as a compliment and couldn't keep the smile off her lips.

"Oh you should take it as a compliment my dear, he's got the Rhodes stubborn streak, he's a handful, I should know. I remember when he was five and…"

"Alright Pops, can we save the embarrassing stories for a later date…" Connor laughed good-naturedly, and his hand rested on Sarah's waist and she could feel the vibrations of his laugh and it put her mind at ease.

"Hey, I have time to listen to them now…" She argued, smiling up at him, but he was still searching the crowd with his eyes.

"Some other time dear, pleasure to meet you, if you'll excuse me, I have a few board members I need to sweet talk…" Sarah smiled and nodded as Connor's grandfather shook her hand again and slapped Connor fondly on the shoulder and moved off into the crowd.

"The man is never not working." Connor commented.

Connor was on edge, his eyes drifting all the time, even as they helped themselves to some food and got cornered by some old school friends of Connor. After they had left Connor mentioned that they were the people he was warning her about, they had never been friends, but he was now the one with the largest trust fund of the entire class.

Their attention was drawn a while later when Claire ascended to the stage that was set up.

"I would like to thank you all for coming." She started, "This is always a special night for my family, and seeing so many of you all here means so much. Every year we are astounded by the generosity of our friends and colleagues towards the fund that my father Cornelius, had set up in my mother's name…" Claire went on and had the crowd in the palm of her hand but all Sarah could focus on was the fact that Connor's knuckles had turned white from his grip on his glass. She squeezed his free hand for reassurance but when Claire mentioned, "Connor and Sarah." He gripped her hand back and started leading her through the crowd.

"We're leaving." He heaved through gritted teeth and headed for the door, with Sarah's hand still intertwined in his.

They eventually made it to the doors and burst out into the cold night.

"Connor, wait, why are we leaving so early?" She asked as she followed him out down the steps.

"I thought you didn't want to go to this anyway?" He argued, asking the concierge to alert the limo.

"That's not fair. I was just apprehensive about it all. I actually like meeting your family…"

"Well we stayed for my Mom's name to be mentioned, that's all I wanted anyway..." He mumbled and cursed how long it was taking for the limo to collect them.

"Connor, your grandfather is there, and Claire wanted you there, you don't need to leave because of me..."

"I'm not leaving because of you." He said as they watched the limo round the corner. "I came because of you…"

It sounded like an insult and Sarah didn't think that was fair, "Connor…this was your night, I came along for you…"

"You invited yourself along!"

"I thought you would want me to be there for you!" She shouted back.

He scoffed, "To play dress up like everyone else?"

"No." She was insulted he would think such things. "It was for you and your mother."

"Have I ever mentioned her to you? Ever?" He asked, his eyes firing at her.

She faltered, because he hadn't said anything directly, "No. But I know it must be…"

"You don't know everything Sarah." He yelled. It felt like she had been living in a magical snow globe that night, in a pretty dress, with her prince charming but as soon as he uttered those words, it felt like he had just shattered the glass and it was all coming crumbling down around her.

"And I don't want to stick around long enough for my _father_..." He said with such disgust that it sounded like the word left a bad taste in his mouth, "To parade around…" He sighed, "Or get anywhere near you..."

She nearly took a step back at his words. They felt like they had cut through her like glass. A hundred possibilities flew around her head at his words. Was he ashamed of her? Would his father not approve of her? Was she not good enough? Were they not serious enough?

"Dammit." He shouted in a curse when his Med phone rang. "What!" He practically yelled down the phone as Sarah stood there in her pretty dress, holding her arms from the cold while the anger inside her dissipated to sadness.

"Fine, yes, I'm on my way." He practically barked down the phone before turning to Sarah again, "Med needs me, you can have the damn limo home, I'll get a cab."

"Don't be ridiculous Connor." She shot right back at him. "You won't get a cab in time, the limo can drop you off at the hospital."

"Fine."

"Fine."

They sat in silence the short ride there, and Sarah had to hold her hands together in her lap to stop them from shaking. She didn't know what she did wrong, and she didn't know what was happening to them. It was like that magnetism, that connection, between them was frizzling around like a live wire waiting to burn everything down. And she was at a loss of how to stop it, or to even know how it had started.

"Dr Rhodes, I didn't realise that was your transportation of choice." Dr Kingston commented as he got out of his own car in the car park.

"It's not." Connor cut back, leaving Sarah to scramble out after him, wondering if he wanted her to stay and wait for him, but he was half way to the hospital doors before Sarah could climb out of the limo.

"Dr Reese, good evening." Dr Kingston greeted her from where he was grabbing his bag. He doubled back while she stood craning her neck to see Connor disappear inside without a look back.

"Actually Doctor, if you wouldn't mind scrubbing in, this is an emergency heart surgery, we're down on residents tonight as it is apparently, it could be a good learning experience."

"Yeah, of course." She said without hesitation and told the limo driver to go home, Connor was obviously not a big fan and she gathered the skirts of her dress and made her way into the hospital.

She ducked into the lounge as quickly as she could for fear of being seen and changed into her scrubs in record time.

"Sarah?" Will did a double take on his way in and out of the lounge, retrieving a file. "You're not on shift tonight are you?"

"No. I was unexpectedly called in by Dr Kingston. I wasn't going to say no." She half-smiled.

"Well, good for you." He smiled before leaving and left her to try and hang the beautiful dress in her locker.

She made her way up to cardiology where she found Connor, Dr Gellar and two more of the operating team already in Dr Kingston's office, pouring over the scans.

Sarah felt her heart fluttering with nerves, because what if Connor froze her out again, what if he didn't want to work with her, what if…?

But he made room for her to slide in beside him and get a look at the information. There was a lot of back and forth before Dr Kingston asked for a proper diagnosis and opinion. Connor spoke up first, suggested that they needed to repair the valve that had fused together and was no longer allowing blood to flow.

Dr Gellar wasn't convinced as it had been done before not three months ago and they were back to square one again.

"Dr Reese? Your thoughts?" Sarah looked up from where she was rereading the history. She faltered, because she had a different idea. She didn't dare risk a glance over to Connor. But his words came back to her, that he wanted her succeed. And Connor may be in a bad mood, but she had to hope Dr Rhodes would appreciate another medical opinion.

"I think that if that procedure wasn't successful the first time, it would only buy the patient less time now. I would." She swallowed, under the observation of her medical superiors, "I think that we could replace the valve, it comes with more risks, yes, but…"

"It would be a more permanent solution." Dr Gellar nodded in agreement.

"But the risks are much higher…" Connor argued. "If we just attempted a repair, we could buy time for a permanent solution in the long term."

"A repair might grant the patient some time if it were successful but how would we measure it? It might only last a few hours, and we can't risk a third operation if we can help it." Dr Kingston debated.

He glanced over to Dr Gellar and then between Connor and Sarah, "As the surgeon taking lead on this, I'm more willing to go with Dr Reese's suggestion." He nodded, "Everybody in the theatre in fifteen, there's no time to waste."

The time in the operating theatre had never passed as slowly, or so Sarah thought, as she stood around the operating table as she watched the patient fall from their grasp. It had been going well, too well, until the shock of the blood pressure plummeting and the heart chamber had caved in. They did everything they could. Until Dr Kingston called the time of death.

And Sarah felt personally responsible.

"Dr Reese?" She was sure someone was calling her name but all she could see was the dead patient lying in front of her.

It had been her call. She had made the decision. And now the patient was dead.

"Sarah." His soft tone reached her and dragged her back to reality to where Connor was speaking to her, standing alone with her in the theatre.

She blinked back tears. And remembered that she was mad at him for being mad. And confused and sad as well. "Yes?" She asked as she took the protective gown and mask off.

"It's not your fault. It was a safer option in the long term. Your medical opinion was right. If it wasn't, Dr Kingston wouldn't have chosen it." He told her, and even though she couldn't look him in the eye, she could feel his eyes on her.

"Thank you Dr Rhodes." She said, before leaving him alone in the theatre. She was never as glad that she kept a spare change of clothes in her locker, she didn't think she could deal with the humiliation of having to put back on the beautiful dress and pretend that everything was okay.

Because while Dr Rhodes was supportive of her, it didn't stop Connor from ordering two cabs for them. The lines between their professional lives and private liens had never blurred this bad before, not between them, not so much. He may have commended her medical opinion, but it didn't stop them leaving the hospital separately.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for reading, the support is unbelievable and I'm so happy people are enjoying this story! More chapters coming soon.


	15. Chapter 15

Chp 15

 _A/N: Hi everyone. I think that there was a problem with my last update, I don't think it showed up on the story summary, so just letting you know that Chapter 14 is up now too about the Rhodes Gala that I had alluded to and hope you enjoyed that chapter as well. As a small surprise, I've included Connor's point of view in this chapter, I think that some explanation was needed for his actions. And I've based some of this chapter off season 2 episode 20 , just the part that Sarah had to supervise the baby dolls, let's just pretend it can be any resident that gets the job, not just the psychiatry residents :)_

 _Anyway, on with the chapter, hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

 **Sarah POV**

Sarah went back to work the next morning, after not getting much sleep that night. She didn't think her day could any worse. She had overslept, missed her bus, missed her coffee with Connor, it was all going bad. Until it got worse.

She had been assigned as the unfortunate first year resident to supervise the local high school students with their computer-chipped babies.

That was only _after_ she came down to the lounge for her break to find cut out's from the daily newspaper stuck to her locker. She assumed one of the ED staff had found it and thought it was a good joke. It was a half-page picture of ' _Dr Connor Rhodes and his new beau'._ And she had to give it to the photographer, they had caught one of the only happy moments of the entire evening. Connor and Sarah were smiling as Connor's grandfather was in the background. And looking at it, she admitted, that they looked like the epitome of a happy relationship. She ripped the photo down, it was a pity she wasn't sure that they were anymore.

"Everything alright Reese?" Will asked, as he and Ethan came into the room.

"Eh, yeah, everything's fine," She said as she hurriedly placed the clipping in the locker.

"Oh is that the newspaper that Nat and April were fawning over this morning?" He laughed.

"I suppose so." She shrugged and tried to give them a smile. "I'll see you guys later…" She said as she rushed from them and was nearly in cardiology when Dr Kingston caught her.

"Dr Reese, I've just got word, unfortunately you're on 'baby' duty today." He said. "A waste of your talents, but you are a first year resident, Jennie has the details of it. Best of luck."

True enough, Jennie met Sarah with a sympathetic smile and explained what she had to do. Set up the dolls with the new computer chips and assign them to the students and monitor how they do. All in the name of showing them the responsibility that having a real baby would entail.

Sarah had to collect herself before she met with the class. She was panicking because she considered herself to have _no_ maternal instinct. Sure, she had younger sisters, and as a result had done plenty of babysitting for them, plenty of tucking them in at night, and being someone they go to for help, but she couldn't imagine ever being the main caregiver in a little human's life. She had just never felt any connection to babies, and she certainly didn't think of herself as mother material. But Sarah met with the students anyway and explained that there was no exceptions, even to the girl that was in honours classes and was wondering about the benefit of it all.

She was in the middle of getting through her talk to the students, tripping over some of her words, and hoping that she didn't leave anything out when April's little brother showed up. She was happy that someone had her back but she waved him away, she wanted to do this on her own. She wanted, needed, to prove herself.

She relented when Noah wouldn't stop popping around and they ended up in the cafeteria having coffee together. Not her ideal coffee companion, but she didn't mind the company. The man barely stopped talking so she just had to nod along. He seemed to jump on her baby aversion bandwagon. And she found herself admitting that she did the exact same as the girl in the class, hacked the doll's computer chip, under too much pressure in school. And she was glad to have help.

She ignored the impulse to call on Connor. To ask his opinion, because she needed to stop relying heavily on him, she couldn't get too clingy, not when she wasn't sure what was happening between them. She _knew_ that she had issues with her confidence when it came to her work, and she was worried that her doubts about herself had started to worm their way at Connor. She couldn't help but think that he needed someone more confident to show off at events like the Rhodes gala.

She looked up and saw Connor by the doorway, looking particularly annoyed at what he was seeing. But after she thanked Noah for the talk and company and gathered her things to follow after Connor, he was already gone. She sighed in frustration at the man's behaviour.

She found Maggie in the lounge, "Hey Maggie, you haven't seen Connor around have you?" She couldn't help the frown of worry form.

"Everything alright Sarah? He was just called into the OR, why?"

She shrugged helplessly, her head starting to pound with a headache. It had been a long twenty four hours. "If you see him, can you just let him know I was looking for him?"

"Of course. Sarah..." Maggie called as Sarah bolted for the door, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mmm hmm." Sarah nodded.

She was finishing her shift when her phone rang.

"Hey Mom," she answered, happy to hear a friendly voice.

"Sarah now I don't want you to worry, but your father…"

Sarah's heart skipped a beat before she heard her mother explain that her father had had another 'cardiac event' and was taken into hospital all but a few minutes ago. She stood, shaking as she listened, not even sure that she was breathing, on one of the cardiology corridors.

"They're running some tests, and he's awake, just in a little pain, honey. But the doctors are sure that it'll be fine."

But Sarah had been sure about a lot of patients, even the one from the night before, and look how that had ended.

"Okay, okay, keep me updated. _Please_ ," She practically whispered as her throat seemed to clog with emotions.

"Of course, honey. I'll call you later." Her mother hung up and Sarah started fretting about her parents, about Laura and Emma, her two younger sisters and Hannah who was away on business again.

"Dr Reese? Is everything okay?" Sarah wondered if Dr Kingston could have caught her at a worse time.

She swallowed thickly, "Em…yeah. It's just my Dad, back home, he's been taken into hospital, he's had a history of cardiac problems." Her own chest hurt with the force of keeping herself calm.

He seemed to consider her for a second, "Take a few personal days Dr Reese. You're a bright doctor, but we care about our doctors wellbeing around here, and you look shaken to me. Go home for a few days. Cardiology is your speciality." He offered her a small smile, "Make sure they're taking good care of him. I did the same with my brother." He told her before leaving her alone to process her thoughts.

"Sarah?" She turned at her name and was met by Connor hurrying down the corridor towards her.

"Connor…" He stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I…I…" He started but searched her eyes with a sigh.

"I've got to go Connor…" She protested, with half her attention now on the phone in her hands, trying to find the flight schedule.

"What I said last night…I…"

Bingo. There was a flight in an hour and a half. The soonest one there was and she figured she could make it with a quick stop back to her house first.

"Connor, I'm sorry, I really have to go…" She said, "I just have to sign off from this shift and organise things with Jennie and…"

"Sarah," He asked, reaching for her but never making contact, "Can we just talk, for two minutes, I'll be in the lounge whenever you're ready."

He sounded desperate, and she found herself relenting, and she figured that he could talk while she packed up her locker. "Okay, just be there by quarter to. Please."

At least he was willing to talk, she thought. She was already on her way back to Jennie to sort out her roster and figured she had ten minutes before she had to meet Connor. She needed to tell him about her Dad. And she just wanted Connor back.

She had everything sorted, fairly easily when she told Jennie what was happening, and was back in the lounge at quarter to. But Connor wasn't. She packed up her locker as slow as she could. Waiting for him to turn up. And it felt like any doubts she had ever had were coming back at her. It felt like someone was trying to choke her. Connor must want someone more self-assured, like Joey had reminded her that Dr Zanetti was. Or someone more glamourous, like the women at the gala.

He didn't turn up. He didn't send word to her. He didn't even text her of he had gotten delayed by a colleague.

Sarah's head was blurred with panic about her father, but one thought kept resonating around it.

That Connor was giving up on them.

He had tried with the entire relationship thing, but it seemed to that he was letting her go _again._

* * *

 **Connor POV**

It was the one day of the year he hated the most. Sure, there were a few contenders, but none really stood to this one. The anniversary of his mother's death.

There was a reason that Claire never held the stupid gala on the same day, because she was about as operable as he was. He knew that it was the day of the year that she locked herself in her room with the curtains drawn, it was the one day she wouldn't talk to their father.

He had gone through the 'dark room' phase too, along with the 'getting completely drunk' phase, the 'break everything in sight' phase and the 'work until he practically collapsed' phase.

But this year?

He had things to fix. He woke up that morning and had the overwhelming fear that what he had done, and hadn't done, the previous night to Sarah, was like taking a sledgehammer to their relationship. And so he had dragged himself out of bed, he hadn't really slept much anyway and showered, ate breakfast and tried to pretend everything was okay.

But it really wasn't.

He detested the damn gala and all it represented. Where everyone would turn up in fancy clothes and try to look good for the cameras, without a spare thought to his mother at all. It was how his father had won Claire over, setting up a charity in their mother's name had made her putty in his hands. He had moulded her alright, to be the heir to the Rhodes fortune, since Connor himself had spectacularly failed at the task. And his father had rarely spoke his mother's name since the accident. It was Connor who had to remind Claire of the actual good times they had had with their mother, and not just the twisted version his father liked to feed her.

He hadn't wanted to parade Sarah around like a damn show pony to the cruel critics of the world from which he had put as much distance from as possible. He wanted to shelter her from the claws of his father, from the glamour that the world could pretend to have.

He was scared, because how many girls had he fallen for before that would promise to not be interested in his money but at the first sign of glamour and wealth had gone weak at the knees? He didn't want to lose Sarah like that. He didn't want to lose her at all.

She was the one reason that he got out of bed that morning and actually turned up to work.

First the suicide case he had unsuccessfully treated earlier that week, then the gala and now his mother's anniversary and he was amazed that he was still functioning at all.

He had seen the tears in her eyes the night before, from his words in the limo, and from the operation, but he couldn't muster enough energy to put everything right. He couldn't focus, his father, the suicides, everything was closing in to give him tunnel vision and he really hadn't seen much of Sarah the night before. He had tried to be happy for her, she had seemed so _enthusiastic_ about it all, and he tried but spectacularly failed.

He had never let anyone so close before. She could hurt him, she could destroy him, if she wanted to. He needed her so much and all she managed to do was push her away.

After the emergency operation, seeing her standing there with yet more tears in her eyes made his arms ache with need to pull her close and hold her. But they were back to doctor titles and he suddenly didn't know the way back.

He was terrified of losing her.

Why?

Because he was in love with her.

He just didn't want her having anything to do with his old world, he didn't want her getting hurt from the pain that he was carrying from not being able to save the woman who had committed suicide. She didn't need his problems, something he had a lot of.

He was in love with her. With the cute face she would pull when she was concentrating. With the kindness in her heart that he knew no rival for. With the drive and determination she had. With the way she could brighten his day with one of her smiles. With the way she said his name, the fact that he didn't care about the dark parts of past. He was in love with all of her.

So for that reason, he pushed through the dark fog that the anniversary always shrouded on him. She was like his lighthouse in the dark. She was going to be the one good thing about his day.

He made it to the hospital, and Sarah never showed up for their morning coffee. Not that he could really blame her, but he had been looking forward to see her. He had been hoping that seeing her might lift the huge weight that had settled on his chest.

He had seen her name on the roster, 'baby duty' and hoped that she wasn't having too hard of a time. He went about his surgeries as best he could. And tried to swing around by the classroom to see how she was getting on. And he just wanted to see her, wanted to hear her voice, wanted to put the previous evening behind them.

He did see her. But she was with someone else. April's brother was hanging around her like a lost puppy. On a normal day, he could be rational about it. He would know that Sarah wouldn't even think twice about, or that she would even be oblivious to it. That the kid didn't stand a chance, him and Sarah were solid.

But because of the day that was in it, because their relationship suddenly felt like it was on shaky foundations, Connor found himself seeing red. The kid had no right to be bothering her like that. She was more than capable of doing everything by herself. Looking in the window, it felt like being stabbed with knives. First with anger, then jealously. Because the kid was making her laugh, and Connor felt all too drained because he hadn't heard her laugh in too long. Then with some mixture of self-hatred and grief. What if she was better off with someone like Noah? Someone more her age, someone studying like she was, someone without the baggage that Connor was carrying around. Noah could probably bring Sarah home to his family and she would be welcomed with open arms, because who couldn't like her? She wouldn't have to be paraded around some flashy event or deal with the demons that haunted Connor.

Their relationship was already starting to shake. He needed her, he loved her. But what if she was better off without him?

So he added those thoughts to the ones that were already weighing him down for the rest of the day until he stumbled across her in the hallway. His heart jumped in panic because she was shaking, and was as pale as the white walls behind her.

She tried to breeze by him. And he tried to get her to stop, to see if he could help. He agreed to talk to him, or let him talk to him. Once he got to talk to her, once he got to see her again.

But he was half way to the lounge, Sarah having ran off to cardiology, when his father rang.

Or rather, Claire rang, but his father was using her phone. A sure fire way to get Connor to answer his call. Especially today.

"Son." His father greeted him, and that was all it took for Connor to go scrambling for thoughts, for clarity. His mother had died on this day, and his father had the gall to contact him? He tried not to talk to his father too often, but today was his no-go area.

"I missed you at the gala last night…"

"Yeah…" Connor choked out, as he ducked into a bathroom. Memories of his father's voice on _that_ day came flooding back. His mother was dead all over again.

"Claire told me you're seeing a girl. You two are serious. I'm glad you're finally settling down, it's taken too long. Why haven't I met her yet?"

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to breathe. Bizarre was the only word that could describe this entire ordeal. His father, whom he had been estranged from for so long, was now asking after Sarah on his mother's anniversary.

It was times like this that he just _missed_ his Mom.

"Dad." He sighed, "Not today…Sarah's…" But then he found himself looking in the mirror where it felt like his mother's eyes were staring back at him. He didn't usually see the resemblance, but with the day that was in it…

Sarah. He nearly dropped his phone in panic. He had promised her.

He had to cut his father off and raced back to the lounge. Where it was empty.

Sarah was already gone.


	16. Chapter 16

Sarah's three day trip consisted of a haze of hospital rooms and utilizing her medical knowledge to ensure her Dad got the best treatment and so she could reassure the rest of her family.

She had had no contact with Connor. He didn't reach out, so she didn't either. If she wasn't so upset over it all, she would have found it funny that they were both so stubborn. She had only sent Connor one message before she had left Chicago.

 _My Dad is sick, I'm going home for a few days. I'll let you know when I'm back in Chicago._

She had never been in a relationship that was so _intense_ before. She could put it down to the fact that she had to work with Connor, but she had had to work with Joey too. So she figured it was just the fact that it was _Connor._ She had fallen for him hard, and thought that he had done just the same.

But things were never that simple.

She didn't know if he was bothered fighting for them, self-confessed being wary of relationships that he was. Maybe she had scared him away, maybe she had monopolised his time too much, or got too close too fast. But he had done the same and so she didn't think it was a problem.

The entire thing had shone too bright too fast and she didn't want them hurtling toward disaster. She didn't want to lose him.

She went straight to work from the airport, she didn't want to leave her family any sooner than necessary and had some sleep on the plane. She was slightly late, the lounge empty, so she changed in quickly and made her way up to cardiology quickly. Jennie didn't even reprimand her tardiness, just enquired after her father.

He _would_ be okay, she had triple checked the plan of action his doctors had put him on. More exercise, and a new course of medication should calm his heart beat and be able to regulate his blood pressure more efficiently.

Sarah saw to two cardiac patients before one of the more senior residents asked her to drop down to the emergency department, they needed a consult and Dr Rhodes already busy down there on a trauma incident. Sarah took the tablet with the ED patient's information and made her way to the elevator. It didn't register that the elevator was empty. At that time of the day, it should have struck her as odd, but it didn't, she was too busy studying the file on her tablet.

It felt like time had sped up and slowed to a crawl simultaneously when Sarah got off at the ED floor. Sarah looked up at her name being called by Will; the fact that the ED was eerily silent never registered with her.

It should have. If it had, she could have turned on her heels and raced to get helped.

But it didn't. And Sarah was left staring at a gun that was shoved close to her face, having come too far from the elevator to turn back. A man stood in her way, gun in hand, his clothes stained in blood and his eyes frantic.

She stood frozen in place, adrenaline coursing through her veins and she didn't know if she was breathing.

"Turn it off." The man on the other end of the gun growled at her. She didn't know what the man was talking about. Sarah's mouth had gone dry and when she tried to look past him to check the ED, she got hit across the face with the gun. The pain was instant, cracking against her cheek and the flickering through her head while she whimpered at the contact.

"Turn off the damn elevator." He growled, and with tears of pain in her eyes, Sarah nodded fractionally.

"Okay, okay." She said and turned back and pulled the emergency shut off lever. Her heart was stuck firmly in her throat and she wanted to do something, anything, than turning off a method of escape but the man kept at her back, with the gun at the back of her head and walked her back into the ED.

He wasn't alone. Another man with a gun stood at the door with a gun in his hand, while the security officer lay at his feet. The ED staff, her colleagues, her family, had been corralled behind the desk.

But Connor was missing.

"Stay there!" He shouted at them and his hand was shaking so much that it made Sarah's stomach churn at every shake.

"Hey man!" Will called from where he stood, his hands raised in innocence. "C'mon, let her go."

"Say another word and I'll shoot her." The man screamed in frenzy. Sarah was breathing in short sharp breaths, trying to beg her colleagues with her eyes not to do anything stupid on her behalf. The man turned on Sarah and wrapped his arm tightly around her neck and pressed the gun to her temple.

She gripped at the arm instinctively but the more she did that the more the grip tightened. Her throat was constricted and she tried to remain calm. But the panic made it even harder to breathe. If that wasn't bad enough, Sarah could feel the cold metal of the gun nearly searing into her temple.

"Make one more move and I'll kill her. I swear." Her captor shouted, as he dragged her closer to the middle of the department. Machines were whirling behind the cubicle doors that were all shut, the staff unable to treat any of the patients.

"Okay, okay…" Ethan stepped back hastily from where he had joined Will.

"Just treat Justin, get him good enough to leave and I won't have to hurt her." The man threatened in a growl. Sarah's entire body was shaking as much as her captor's voice was.

"I told you. No funny business. No cops. Those doors stays shut. You treat him and we leave." With every sentence Sarah could feel the gun pressing harder into her head but she was in too much of a blind terror to even cry.

From her viewpoint Sarah finally clasped eyes on Connor. He was in the treatment room closest to her, working with April on who she presumed to be Justin. His back was to her, but she was beyond relieved to see him still standing. For the briefest of seconds, her mind had jumped to conclusions when she couldn't find him. It had only make her heart race with terror even more.

"Why isn't he better yet?" The man with his arm around Sarah's neck, holding her in place, yelled over toward Connor and April.

Sarah wished that she could un-see it. Wished she had never had to see the pain and shock that flared in Connor's face when his eyes landed on her. Suddenly, everything seemed so _stupid_ , because if he didn't care about her like that then he wouldn't be looking so utterly distraught right now.

"Your friend has multiple gunshot wounds, we need to get him up to OR or he's going to bleed out on us."

"No, no way, the only place we're going is out those doors." He yelled back.

"I told you we shouldn't have come here!" Sarah's captor's friend by the entrance hissed over at him.

"And I told you I'm not letting him die." He responded.

If she didn't know them so well, Sarah would have missed the glance between Connor and Will. And Will's slight incline of a nod.

"Well if we're meant to fix up your friend…" Connor started, coming slightly closer and holding up his hands.

"My brother!" The arm squeezed on Sarah's neck.

"Your _brother_." Connor nodded. "That doctor you're holding is the only one who can help."

The man by the door let out a bitter laugh, "Yeah, good one doc. She's our collateral now, for getting out of here without being shot down by the cops."

"I'm telling you." Connor stared straight at Justin's brother. "She's the only trauma surgeon on today, she can help your brother."

The pressure of the gun at her temple fell away and his arm around her neck faltered for a second.

"You're lying." But Sarah could tell from the shake in his voice that the man wasn't sure that Connor was.

"Hey, I want this whole thing over too. But you got to let her help your brother."

And suddenly Sarah wasn't tied to one spot anymore, it felt like she was weightless, his arm wasn't holding her back anymore.

"Fix him." He shoved her over to where Justin lay, April keeping an eye on his vitals and Connor standing opposite Sarah.

Her hands were shaking too much and yet her eyes gazed over the patient, multiple gunshot wounds to the arm and stomach area, fractured head injury, diagnosing him with intent to get him well enough to be able to leave. For her hospital family's sake.

"Pretend." Connor mouthed over to her. Because her freedom from the man's clutches depended on her ability to play the part of the only person able to save his brother's life.

So Sarah started calling orders, recalling any and all medical procedures that sounded complicated and April called back the stats. Sarah presumed their act was god enough, the man hadn't moved and inch from where he was still holding the gun in their direction. His back to the rest of the ED.

"Dr Halstead tried this before, he had good help." Connor told her out loud, after she spouted out more medical jargon.

Sarah swallowed and took in Connor's words, along with the hopeful look in his eyes. Her heart leapt in her chest. Or course. Will. Or more specifically, Will's brother Jay. She just hoped it meant that help was somewhere on the way.

She let Connor take the lead in the treatment. She felt eternally grateful, that while she was calling out nonsensical orders, that she could read his non-verbal cues. They could work with and around each other without a word while April took her cues from Sarah. But any false sense of security was shattered in an instant.

"Stats are dropping. BP is 90 over 60…." And the man starting to convulse.

"What the hell is going on? You're supposed to make him better." Justin's brother screamed.

"We're doing everything we can." Connor argued back while Sarah decided to intubate. There was a slim chance of Justin surviving now.

"That's not enough!" He screamed, his hand was waving the gun around and his voice was choked with tears.

He had come over, midway there, and Connor had met him, trying to calm the man down when Sarah's world shattered into a million pieces.

It was like her world was frozen. The noise so over whelming that she wondered how it didn't knock her off balance. She couldn't process it.

The man was shouting at Connor but any argument was cut off when sirens roared from outside and the doors were broke open by the police. The noise of the police, disarming the man at the door and shouting at Justin's brother blared over the noise of the machines, and patients cries, and Connor and the man's heated words.

It happened in an instant. So quick, she almost missed it. But slow enough that it registered somewhere in her mind that the memory of it would haunt her for a lifetime.

The police had to shoot at Justin's brother. But before they could disarm him. He shot his gun.

The bullet hit Connor straight in the chest.

And he fell to the ground.

The strangled cry got caught in her throat, and while the entire scene of police and SWAT teams descended on the ED, all Sarah could do was crawl over to where Connor lay unconscious on the ground. The blood was already seeping through his shirt and Will arrived at her side in an instant while Ethan called for a trolley. Will put pressure on the wound, far too close to Connor's heart for Sarah to see clearly.

But her medical instincts kicked in and she checked the vitals and swapped the stats with Will.

"Pulse weak. Eyes unresponsive." She told him.

"C'mon Connor." Will murmured under his breath. It was chaos. There were too many people. Too much noise. Too much uncertainty. But the only thing that wasn't blurry for Sarah was the fact that blood was oozing from Connor's chest at far too fast a rate.

Her heart was pounding in her ears, pounding fast enough to keep her and Connor alive. Maggie and Ethan arrived and they managed to get Connor onto the trolley.

She was suddenly outside the OR doors without any recollection of how she had gotten there. Her only focus was Connor's eyes that were still closed and she presumed that her feet had followed the trolley at their own accord.

"Dr Reese," Dr Kingston said, as he rounded the corner, "I'm not letting you scrub in for this. You have to sit this one out."

"But I..." It felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs, "But..no...I..."

"You're personally invested and I'm not having you in my theatre. We'll let you know how it goes." He took control of the trolley and all Sarah could do was watch them roll Connor away from her.

She took a few shaky breaths to calm herself and looked over at Will, "I can help out, in the ED..."

"Sarah..." He looked her straight in the eye, "I think you've been through enough today...no one expects you to go back to work."

"Will." She forced out, because her anger had to go somewhere, "I'm a competent doctor, I can help..."

The thought of Connor finally hearing her stand up for own abilities brought back the images of him falling to the ground and it sparked fresh tears that burned at her eyes.

"Believe me Reese, we know you are, but you've had it worse than all of us today. Just keep us updated on Connor okay?"

All she could do was nod dumbly before sinking down to the ground against the wall opposite the theatre doors, and hugged her knees close to her chest.

"Dr Reese? Are you okay? I heard about what happened earlier." Sarah looked up after forty six minutes of staring either at the theatre doors or at the clock on the wall to see Dr Charles standing beside her.

She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out, her mouth was dry and the words got caught in her throat. All she could do was nod her head, keeping her hands from shaking from clasping them around her knees too tightly.

But Dr Charles just oozed calmness and Sarah found herself clinging to his presence like a lifeline.

"Do you mind if I keep you company?"

"No." She managed to choke out and gave him the best attempt at a smile that she could muster. She zoned out while he went in search of a chair, all she did was glare at the doors and feel that horrendously familiar terror crawl under her skin. She had only been scared like this the first time her father had had a heart attack and she was been a helpless teenager, but while she sat there and didn't know whether Connor was alive or dead, she felt just as helpless now.

Dr Charles reappeared and sat down in a chair beside her. "I heard your father wasn't well. I have to say, this isn't the ideal first day back."

She choked out something between a sob and a laugh.

"How is he? You father." Dr Charles asked.

She rubbed at her eyes, trying to rub away the memories of the bullet tearing through Connor, and tried to focus on Dr Charles' words. "He's okay now. HIs condition is stabilized, I made sure it was before I left."

She made a note to follow up with her Dad's doctors and to check in with her mother and sisters.

"Were you scared?" Dr Charles broke through her train of thought again a few minutes later when the silence had become suffocating.

She willed the surgery to go well. She willed Connor to get better. She wanted, needed, to sort out things between them. Because she didn't care now if he wasn't fighting for them. She was going to fight for him.

"What?" She asked Dr Charles, tearing her focus away from the doors that remained shut.

"Were you scared in the ED. Being held at gunpoint...I mean I would imagine, is utterly terrifying."

She had nearly forgotten anything had happened to her. Connor had been shot, she hadn't. She hadn't been worried about herself.

But it came back in flashes, the pain in the side of her face that would surely leave a bruise. The terror of not finding Connor in the crowd. The cold metal at her head and the arm clasped around her neck. She didn't know that she was crying until her cheeks felt wet.

"Yeah. It was terrifying." She sobbed and Dr Charles laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and let her cry until there were no tears left.

"I'm sorry." She muttered when her eyes ran dry.

"Don't be." he told her. "It's perfectly healthy to let your body and mind catch up with the trauma you've been though. My office door is always open Sarah, anytime."

Maggie rounded the corner at a quick pace and called on Sarah. "There you are!"

Sarah hopped to her feet too fast, leaving her light headed for a second. "Oh I was so worried about you!" Maggie said while drawing her into a hug.

"Thanks Maggie, I'm glad you're okay."

Maggie examined the tender spot where the gun had impacted on the side of her face, "I'm just letting you know, Claire Rhodes is here, she's in the waiting room."

"I...I better go see her." Sarah heard the words coming out of her mouth.

She thanked Maggie and Dr Charles and made her way around to the waiting room where she saw Claire pacing though the windows.

She opened the door and Claire looked over instinctively, "Oh Sarah!" Sarah didn't have much time to process anything before she was pulled into another hug. "The hospital just called, and they said Connor had been shot...what on earth has been going on?"

So Sarah relayed everything that happened. Along with whatever stats she had gathered about Connor before they had left her outside the doors.

"Oh God." Claire eventually let out, holding her hand over her mouth and sinking into one of the chairs. "Do we know...is he going to be okay?"

She wanted a medical opinion, and Sarah could do that, it was easier to remain detached than to remind herself that the patient was Connor.

"It all depends on what the bullet did or didn't hit." She told Claire, "I didn't get to find out, but he was in a bad condition going in. But he has the best surgeons in the hospital working on him." She tried to comfort the two of them with her words.

They sat in amicable silence for another hour before Dr Kingston arrived in with two other doctors, "Ms Rhodes?"

"Yes?" Claire stood up and stood ram-rod straight.

"Connor has pulled through surgery as well as can be expected. Thankfully the gunshot bullet missed the main mass of the heart, however it caused damage to the aorta and multiple veins. He's going to be kept in the ICU. He's not out of the woods, the next twenty four hours are critical, so if the repair we have performed can heal on its own, it'll be a good sign. But it is early days yet."

"Can...can I see him?"

"Of course, one of the nurses will bring you to him. I'll be in to check later on." He gave them a firm smile and a nurse that Sarah worked with in cardiology came to bring Claire to Connor.

But Claire took Sarah's hand and demanded that she could come to. Something that Sarah thought that she would never forget. She owed Claire. They were led into his cubicle in the ICU where the monitors were beeping, he was hooked up to an IV, and had an oxygen tube in, still unconscious.

Claire let out a strangled sob, "You know we drive each other crazy, and there was too much bad blood between us for too long, but I never wanted this..." She said as she pushed his hair out of his forehead.

"I know." Sarah told her, while she held onto Connor's hand, it felt unnatural that it was limp in her own when he usually was the one holding onto hers like a lifeline.

The nurse brought by another chair for Sarah with Claire taking the one that had been there. And Sarah sank into it gratefully.

The hours ticked by, Sarah keeping a strict eye on the monitors, while Claire told her stories of her childhood with Connor and Sarah told her about the dates they had been on. Jay Halstead came by with his partner to ask her a few questions about the events of the morning. She went through everything in as much detail as she could, all while tripping over her thanks for their help. Will had been the mastermind behind it all, the staff had been forced to dump their phones, but Will had Jay on speed dial for things like this. Jay told her it was the perks of having a cop for a brother. The intelligence team had heard the entire thing go down, it was why Will had motioned to Connor to get Sarah away from the gunman. It was easier to diffuse the situation if the gunmen didn't have direct contact with any innocent victims.

Claire fell asleep before Sarah did. Sarah had relayed Connor's condition and nearly all of the staff that he had worked with had called around to see him. All Sarah could do when it got dark was replay the scene over and over again until her body grew too tired for it and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 _A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a slight change of pace._

 _I don't know about you but I am beyond ecstatic that we're getting another season of Chicago Med!_


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: This chapter is from Connor's POV. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Everything was white. It was blinding, and the pain seemed to encompass his entire body.

His eyes refused to open, his throat was sore and there seemed to be white noise everywhere.

"Connor?" Someone said his name. It somehow managed to cut through the pounding in is ears.

"Connor...can you hear me?" He wanted to reply, he wanted to reassure whoever was breaking through the pain, but he couldn't.

It felt like he had finally broke the surface of the water before he was pushed back under again. The voices were drifting away, drowned out by the searing pain in his chest and the hum of machines.

His chest.

The gun.

The shot.

Sarah.

It all hit him like a tsunami wave. The feeling, the pain, the sounds. His eyes tore open at the onslaught of his broken memories and his chest heaved with the instinct of trying to sit up.

"Connor, calm down, you're alright, you're just in the hospital."

The voice told him, but he couldn't believe who he was seeing. That couldn't be right. That surely couldn't be who he thought it was.

"Dad?" It took most of his energy to wheeze out the question.

"Yeah son, I'm right here. You're alright, you're just coming around after surgery."

Connor didn't know how he did it, but he managed to keep his eyes open, just long enough to be able to see his father, and to make sure he wasn't just hearing things. But sure enough, there he stood, Cornelius Rhodes.

"Dad..." He swallowed thickly, "What are you doing here?"

"My son gets shot during a hostage situation and you think I wouldn't be here?" His father replied in his usual exasperation before the doors opened and Dr Kingston followed Claire in.

"Oh good, you're still awake." Claire's smile was nearly brighter than the lights shining over him.

But his energy for talking had quickly diminished, he kept an ear out for the monitors that he was hooked up to.

Dr Kingston did the usual checks that Connor was used to performing, not receiving. And talked him through the operation. He had gotten ridiculously lucky. He had a drop in blood pressure once since the operation, which was worrying, but they'd keep an eye on it. All in all, Dr Kingston was happy with his progress and hopeful for his outlook.

Connor just managed to stay awake long enough for Dr Kingston to leave, to hear his father and sister thanking the other doctor and he thought he might have thanked his family for being there, but he wasn't sure, as soon as he closed his eyes, he slipped under again.

* * *

His whole body jerked alert in an instant. The resounding crack of the gunshot resounded in his head and he opened his eyes to a much darker room. The curtains were pulled. And the monitors still beeped but his breath remained short from the terror of the memory. His chest, where he could feel the stitches, was burning in pain, his heart thumping at the nightmare. He felt like he had been hit on the head with a hammer, with the horrendous headache he had.

His eyes shot around the room, but he couldn't find his Dad or Claire. He couldn't make out much, just the glimmer of light at the edges of the curtains, and the shadows that the monitor lights threw around the room.

"Connor. It's okay. You're okay." The pain medication kicked in before he got a chance to look in the direction of the voice who was calming him. He could have sworn it was Sarah's voice.

His throat was too dry to reply and he kicked himself for forgetting to ask how everyone else was, how Sarah was, when talking to his family.

But his mind was numbing again, his heart rate calming down, and his eyelids grew too heavy.

"Connor, you just rest, I'm right here."

Her voice seemed to carrying on the air and invade his mind. He was sure it was her. She had echoed the very words he had told her before.

So she was okay.

Sarah was safe.

And it was the last thought that circled in his mind before he gave up the fight of staying awake and submitted to the murkiness of his sleep again.

* * *

"Good afternoon Sleeping Beauty." Claire's voice was too happy, too shrill for his sensitive ears when he shook off the sleep and medication enough to wake up. The room was bright again, the curtains open, and he was once again surrounded by Claire and Cornelius Rhodes.

"Hey." He said, trying instinctively to get up. He had always preferred being the doctor, not the patient.

"Woah, what are you doing Connor?" Claire's hand came down on his shoulder.

"I'm getting up, what does it look like? I'm perfectly fine."

All that got was a scoff and roll of eyes from his sister as she gently, but firmly nonetheless, eased him back down.

"Pops was asking about you, I'll tell him you haven't lost your stubborn streak in the attack." his father replied dryly. "I'll get the doctor, you can have a chat with him. Lord knows I've made enough donations to this hospital, you should have your own medical team around the clock here..." he continued to mumble about the resources of the hospital as he left the room and Connor gave up and lay his head back down on the pillows.

"How long have I been out?" He asked his sister.

"Three days. It was a bit rough for the first day, Sarah wasn't happy with the vitals or something. Anyway, she made them check something over, they had to adjust the dosage or something, I don't know, you can ask her the specifics. But they seem pretty happy about your progress now." She smiled.

There was a tightness in his chest suddenly that had nothing to do with the stitches, "Sarah was here, she's okay?"

His voice was hoarse and his throat scratched, but he needed to know he hadn't just been hallucinating that Sarah had been there because of the pain medication.

"She's perfectly fine, from what I can gather, they were able to stop the guy right after he shot you. You were the only one really injured." But then Claire rolled her eyes at his question, "Sarah has barely left. She works her shifts, checking on you every hour, then spends her free time here. All the ED staff have been coming and going, I didn't realize that you were such a popular guy." She laughed lightly.

But he didn't have time to joke about his popularity, "Where is she?" He choked out, his mouth dry after spending three days unconscious.

"Eh...I don't know..." Claire hesitated before answering and rearranged some of the flowers at his bedside, "So the police caught that guy who shot you." She tried changing the direction of the conversation.

But she must have forgotten that she was talking to her older brother. He knew when she was lying, he had spent years watching her lie about who ate the cookies, or when she didn't do her homework, or when she used to sneak out of the house. He could read her like a book.

"Claire, where's Sarah?" He demanded and watched him wince at his direct question.

She played with her hair before relenting and looking him in the eye. "She may have mentioned that you didn't want her to meet Dad. So she only leaves when she knows he's coming here. I let her know when he's on his way and honestly, she barely leaves your side any other time." Claire admitted. "She said that she didn't want to put you in an awkward situation with Dad. I told her it was stupid. It _is_ stupid right?" Claire shot at him.

But all he could do was wince, not from the pain of his wound but from the words he had told Sarah the night of the Gala. He was pretty sure it was the only time the topic of his father had come up, and he had told her that he didn't want his father to be anywhere near her.

But she needed to know.

He hadn't wanted her to meet his father. But not because of Sarah, it had been because of his father. He didn't want him to destroy her. He didn't want his father throwing his money and arrogance around and picking holes in Sarah's life, or her family, or her career. He didn't want him insulting her. The entire night was messed up anyway, he doubt he had meant anything he said now.

"Connor, you can't be serious!" Claire sighed.

"I didn't mean it like that." He insisted but their conversation was cut off when his father came back with a trail of doctors after him, along with Ms Goodwin.

"Ah Dr Rhodes, I'm glad to see you're awake." She smiled, but it was a tight smile, while she threw cautionary glances at Cornelius. But Connor wasn't worried, if there was one chief of staff who could take on his father, it was Ms Goodwin. "I'm sure you're comfortable."

"Very, Ms Goodwin, thank you." He said, giving her the best imitation of a smile he could muster while watching his father fume at her.

"Well I think we should leave the doctors to do their jobs then and check on your son, shouldn't we Mr Rhodes?" She remarked, before leading his family out of the room and letting the doctors check everything was in order. They explained that there was a complication with the pain medication while he was unconscious, and that could have been the root of his blood pressure drop but they wanted him to stay a while longer under observation.

If it were any other patient, Connor knew he would have agreed with their course of action, it was just the slight problem of _him_ being the patient. He didn't have the patience to be confined as a patient, he triple checked his own diagnosis with them. They talked through the procedure again, and they agreed that he could be discharged soon enough, all going well.

His father and sister returned not too long afterwards, Claire fussing with the pillows and his father making idle small talk. It wasn't until the third time that his father checked his phone that Connor told them he was getting tired and was going to sleep; that they were free to leave. He knew that really, his father's heart and actions were in the right place, he was waiting by his bedside after all, but the family business never took a break and Connor could see him itching to get back. So they did just that, they told him they'd call by the next day and left only when they thought he was fallen to sleep.

But he didn't fall asleep, and he didn't think he would be able to until he saw Sarah again. Until he put everything straight. His body was tired, aching, but his mind was racing with thoughts of her, how she was, how her father was, how he could ever put things straight again.

It took twenty six minutes before a knock came to his door and she appeared.

"Hi, you're awake." And her smile took his breath away. God, how he had missed her.

"Yeah, the docs say I should be alright." He told her and watched her nod and her eyes flick over the numbers on the monitors and a quick scan of his body. He had always loved watching her work, how he could see her quick mind at work.

"Yeah, I heard." She seemed unsure of what to do with herself as she rocked on her heels near the end of his bed. Not that he could blame her, when the last time they were speaking properly he had practically stood her up. He was starting to wonder how the hell he could have messed everything up so bad.

"Do you want to sit?" Usually he would be embarrassed by the thinly veiled desperation in his voice for her to stay, but he wasn't now, not when he wanted her to stay so badly.

"Eh…yeah sure." She hesitated before sitting on the chair beside him.

"How's your Dad?"

The question threw her, he could see the look on her face, and he kicked himself for starting the conversation off wrong again

"He's okay, I mean he had another setback but he's good now…thanks."

Connor just nodded, "That's good. I didn't want to call you when you busy."

"Uh huh." She gave him a tight smile.

"I mean…Sarah…" He didn't even know where to start. "I think I should take you up on your suggestion."

A slight frown graced her face, "What suggestion?"

"That I talk to you." He started, aching just to hold her hand, or just for her to look him in the eye.

"I didn't mean to lash out at you, at the Gala, you didn't deserve it. I'm _so_ sorry." He went on, "I hate it and all it represents. I go every year for Claire's sake. I just wanted to keep you away from it all. Just because I hated it. And…" He swallowed, "…and you liked it all, and I didn't want you too."

" _I told you_ ," She reiterated, "I'm not dating you for your money."

"I know, I do know that." He rubbed his weary eyes. "I just, everything gets twisted around my family, my Mom, that time of the year. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You should have told me."

"I know."

Silence slid over them, not exactly uncomfortable, but not comfortable either.

"Thank you."

"For what?" She asked.

"Claire said you stayed here."

"They wouldn't let me operate." He couldn't help but smile at the indignation in her voice. "So I wanted to make sure they got the right aftercare."

"You don't have to avoid my Dad." He told her. "What I said at the gala, I meant I didn't want him anywhere near you. Every year he parades around at it, pretending he actually cared much about Mom. I didn't want him getting his claws into you, I know first-hand what he can do to a person."

He didn't have to reach over for her hand, their hands met somewhere in the middle.

"My Dad and I? We have our problems, and I'm okay with him most of the time. But the gala, and Mom and you? It was a bad mixture. A bad headspace for me. You can meet him soon if you want."

He had hoped to see her smile again, but all he got was a blank stare.

"You didn't turn up in the lounge, you didn't try to contact me afterwards." Her words and broken tone hurt him nearly as much as the bullet had.

"I got held up, my Dad rang. And then you were gone, and you had to deal with your family. I didn't want to distract you, I didn't want to interfere."

All he knew was that when he had to deal with his mess of a family and all that came with it, that he didn't want anyone else's opinion, he didn't need or want their judgement or 'help'.

"Family is something I deal with on my own." He said.

"My Dad was sick, I was terrified and I didn't know where we stood. I didn't even know, I don't know, what we are. I just wanted to know you still cared."

"Sarah, I do care."

He felt like he had been blindsided, he hadn't seen the turn in the conversation. And suddenly it was hurtling in a direction that he didn't want it to go. But he didn't know how to get it back to where he wanted to go.

"I don't know if this is going to work if you keep not letting me in." She whispered. "I…I just need some time." She decided, her eyes watering in front of him. She bit her lip, "You should get some sleep Connor." She whispered and she took her hand from his, and left a ghost of a kiss on his forehead before getting up and leaving the room.

This time Connor just welcomed the sleep that the medication pushed him under.


	18. Chapter 18

Four days after Connor had woken up enough to have a conversation with her, Sarah took Dr Charles up on his offer to talk. She had told her family the bare minimum, just to save her father the added stress. She didn't need to be a cardiology resident to know that stress wouldn't help his heart.

And it wasn't like she could talk to Connor all that much either. She had heard what he said but she was still unsure. He cared, but pushed her away. And she didn't know what to do. She still visited him. Before and after shifts, just to check in and keep up with his progress. But the tension was palpable between them. And suddenly she felt like the one pushing him away.

But she had told the truth, she needed time to weigh everything up, to make sure that she didn't regret her decision. She liked to gather all the facts of her cases, and her own life wasn't much different, she liked to process things and make a well-rounded decision. Because she may not know where they stand, but she knew he wasn't telling her everything. She knew he was still hiding _something_.

Dr Charles slotted her in before their shifts and while she wasn't entirely enthusiastic about the entire session, she hadn't realised how much the recent events had affected her. She couldn't blame her lack of sleep on the fact that she had slept in the hospital, it was more because of the nightmares. Horrors of the ordeal of the hostage situation, with Connor being shot over and over while a montage of her father having a heart attack slipped into her nightmares.

Sarah was entering the doctor's lounge after her session when an older man approached her, looking uncertain in his surroundings.

"Hi excuse me, you don't happen to know where a Dr Rhodes is do you?" He asked.

She was immediately suspicious and jumpy at his question, but she had been jumpy since being held hostage. But she saw the dark circles under the man's eyes, the slump in his shoulders, and the slight desperation in his voice.

"He does usually work here, but he's off for a few days, do you mind me asking why?" She stopped to talk to him.

The man rubbed the back of his neck in distress, "I..eh...my wife was treated here...about a week ago…and I only could compose myself now…I " Sarah's heart lurched at the tears that were springing to the man's eyes.

"Would you like me to pass on a message?"

"Yeah, that would be great..." He admitted, heaving a grateful sigh, "would you mind just thanking him for me, and just telling him that I know they did their best, it wasn't their fault...I, eh, I don't think she wanted to be saved anyway." His voice broke and it just caused a crack in Sarah's heart. "It's just the doctor seemed...distraught by it, and I just wanted to thank him for caring when everyone else had given up."

"Of course I will." She reassured him, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." He nodded a few times before thanking her again and leaving quickly the way he came.

She made her way to the lounge, starting up the coffee machine and wished that it wouldn't remind her of Connor so much.

"Hey Sarah." Maggie smiled as she came in to fetch a file.

"Hi Maggie." Sarah responded, before realizing she was the perfect person to ask, because the man's words were still revolving around in her head.

"Maggie? Actually can I ask you something?"

"Of course. What's up?" Maggie stopped in her path and turned to face her.

"There was a man here just now, asking for Connor, saying that his wife had been treated here a week ago, said that Connor kept going when there was no hope, you don't remember anything like that do you?" she knew it was a long shot, with the multitude of patients the ED saw every day.

Maggie pursed her lips in thought before answering. "Yeah. Yeah a woman came in, suicide attempt, horrible circumstances, a husband and two kids. Connor did take it pretty hard, but you know him." She shrugged, "He just got on with his work fine afterwards." She told her. "…I thought he would have told you?"

Sarah swallowed, "So did I."

"Everyone tried but we couldn't save her. I don't even know if she wanted to be saved…" Maggie sighed and looked off into the distance.

"Maggie, if you ever need to talk…."

"Thanks Sarah" Maggie nodded.

Sarah just smiled and nodded and watched Maggie leave. But Maggie's words haunted her. A suicide case. And Connor had been in a bad way the day before the Gala. She had meant to ask him, but the whirlwind that was the Rhodes family hit and she didn't get to afterwards. He had told her he was fine, but she had seen the signs.

She took a quick detour before making her way up to cardiology, a well-worn path now, and over to where Connor's room was. She knew his doctors and nurses now nearly better than the ones in cardiology. She had seen more of his room than she had of her own room in the past week.

She turned the corner, and was about to knock on his door but it was already ajar. She was ready to question, ready to believe him if he just let her in, if he could just let her help him the way he always helped her. She listened for voices before moving inside, or rather, she waited to see if his father was inside. But when she didn't hear anything, she just let herself in and she was met by an empty bed. Not just an empty bed, but an empty room, half way through being cleaned for the next patient.

"Sarah, are you okay?" Emily, one of the nurses that had cared for Connor came in behind her with new bed sheets.

"Eh, yeah, I just…where's Connor gone?" She asked, she had given up calling him Dr Rhodes and pretending just to be a concerned colleague when the staff had noticed her sleeping by his bedside most nights.

"Oh, did nobody tell you yet? He's just been discharged. You've just missed them, his father collected him."

She had been disappointed before, now she was just angry. She had told him she needed time, but just like when she had left to be with her family, dammit she wanted him to fight for her. He could have told her he was leaving.

"Oh, okay, thanks for everything Emily." She told the nurse before reverting back up to cardiology and trying to focus on her work. The time seemed to fly between the cases she was working on and while she spent any spare minute thinking of what to tell Connor the next time she talked to him.

For the first time in a long time, she was on time for her bus. Usually her shifts ran over, not that she was complaining, she loved the experience, but after the surgery that she had aided in Dr Kingston had let her off on time. But she didn't take her bus, she took the one that stopped across the road. The one that would leave her near Connor's building. Because Maggie's words were haunting her thoughts, he was hurt, and he hadn't let her know he was leaving. The man was infuriating sometimes.

She made her way to his floor and knocked on his door. When nobody answered, she just resorted to pounding on the polished wood. It took a few minutes, before the door swung open.

Sarah wanted the ground to swallow her up where she stood. Because it wasn't Connor who opened the door. It was his father.

"Can I help you?" Sarah didn't think that she could ever tell Connor that he used the same exasperated tone that his father did.

The shock of being met with the very man she had been purposely hiding from for the better part of a week had Sarah shrinking into herself. But she was angry at Connor, annoyed at the whole situation and was desperately afraid of losing him. And Connor's worries surrounding his father and Sarah edged their way into her thoughts. She wouldn't, and couldn't, be intimidated by Cornelius Rhodes.

"I'm Sarah Reese. I was looking for Connor." She cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders and looked the man in the eye.

"So _you're_ Sarah." He said, still holding the door in his hand, not letting her in.

"Yes sir." She replied. "I heard that Connor was discharged this morning."

"You heard right. We thought he would get better rest at home." He sighed, somewhat in annoyance, "However _you_ are the very reason he's not getting any rest."

"I don't understand what you mean…" She didn't like being accused of things she didn't do.

"We try to make him rest and half the time he spends ranting about you and the other half is spent trying to convince us to let him travel to your house."

Of all the things for _the_ Cornelius Rhodes to say, _that_ was not what she was expecting. She gaped at the man before gathering her thoughts. "Well, if I can just talk to him..."

"Please, it would be much appreciated."

And suddenly Sarah felt like she was agreeing to a business deal she had never had any dealings with.

"Can I come in?" She had to ask since the man made no move to clear the doorway, and she apparently had to calm Connor down.

"My son is not here, I'm afraid he's as stubborn as he always has been. He somehow sweet-talked his sister, he should be waiting outside your house as we speak Ms Reese."

"Dr Reese." She shot back on instinct. She couldn't help but think that Connor's belief in her was finally rubbing off on her. "Outside my house? What is he thinking? There is a significantly higher risk of him contracting an infection wandering around the streets. He should be on bed rest, lots of fluids, lack of stress…"

" _Dr Reese,_ while I'm glad we agree on the lack of care taken by Connor, I would appreciate it if you could convince him to come home and rest." He interjected.

"Yes I will. And believe me, he's going to get a piece of my mind." She told him before leaving. It took her a while to get across town, and she wasn't sure which emotion was having more control over her; anger or concern.

The more she worried about him, the fact that he had been under serious surgery and dealt with a suicide case, the more it made her angry that he was going against his doctor's orders and that he hadn't tried to change her mind while she needed time to decide on what they were.

The bus let her off like normal and she made it to her house in record time, having never walked as fast before. And there, parked in front of her house was a very annoyed looking Claire behind the wheel. And a very bedraggled looking Connor in the passenger seat.

He opened his car door and got out when he saw her. And Sarah didn't know whether she wanted to hug him or slap him, so she kept her distance.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she approached.

He took a heavy breath, "I had to see you."

"Connor. You're recovering from surgery, you could have called me." She reasoned.

"I didn't want to mess things up anymore. I needed to…I just needed to see you."

"You need to rest." She said, she didn't dare bring up the suicide case just yet, his eyes looked hollow and he needed some serious sleep.

"Look, I get that you need time. But I didn't mean for you ever think that I didn't want _us_. And I get it, if you wanted to be with someone like Noah…" She shook her head at his words, and for a second Sarah was concerned the man was hallucinating, since she had started dating Connor, she had never wanted anyone else. "And I'm sorry for not getting back to you in time before you left, or calling you when you were away, I didn't know you wanted me to. And I'm sorry for turning up here without warning." He said.

"I just wanted you know that I don't want to lose you. I get too wrapped up in my own head sometimes and I just…" He sighed, and gently rubbed at his chest. "I didn't think you needed my problems."

"But I don't want to just let you go without you knowing that I'm in love with you Sarah. Because I do love you. I love you." His words seemed to dance around her. "I just needed you to know that before you made any decisions."

Well _that_ would certainly have to be taken into her considerations.

She found herself standing opposite Connor Rhodes, a man with all his complications and problems, but with all his charm and thoughtfulness, and he was in love with her.

"Oh." Was all she managed to choke out.

She could see his confidence fall away slightly. But he nodded his head, as if happy he had said his piece.

Sarah blinked back tears because nobody had ever been in love with her. Nobody had ever told her it. Her mind was racing with thoughts, with doubts, with questions, but her heart was drumming too hard to make sense of them.

She was terrified what her heart wanted to answer him back. There was a lot still uncertain and unsaid between them but his words were like a calming wave washing over her. Whatever problems they had, love had to be a pretty good foundation for them to build from.

"I'm still annoyed at you." She tried and failed to find that anger she had had at him but carried on in the sternest voice she could muster "So get back in that car and go home. You need to rest. I'm serious."

But her emotions defied her and she smiled anyway. She couldn't not. Connor Rhodes was _in love with her_.

"That's the second reason I came actually. I need someone to change the dressings on the stitches since I escaped early and Claire won't hear of me doing it myself, don't make me ask Halstead." He grinned despite his obvious fatigue.

"Fine. I'll come with you and change them once you promise you will rest Connor." She told him.

"I promise." He said. "I'm sorry Sarah, I mean it."

"I know."

She may have felt a little bit overwhelmed by the sudden revelations, but she _had_ wanted to know all the details.


	19. Chapter 19

Sarah spent the car ride back to Connor's apartment weighing up everything she knew now. She had been terrified that he didn't care about her as much as she did about him but he had quashed that fear. She was scared that he didn't want to include her in his life. But there he was, sitting opposite her in the backseat, glancing at her every few seconds, making sure that she was still there.

It was on the way across the city that Connor got a call from his father, he had urgent business to attend to and hoped his son would come to his senses and get some rest and he would call when he was back from his business trip. Sarah was slightly relieved, she didn't know if she could deal with anymore Cornelius Rhodes that day.

Connor fought sleep the entire car ride, while in the elevator and while Claire opened his door. When they finally made it inside his apartment, Connor sat down on the closet sofa he could get to.

Claire nearly battled with him as she tried to help him take his jacket off while his face betrayed the pain he was in. "You have never been a good patient." She chastised him.

"Did our nannies tell you that?" He asked, gritting his teeth. And Sarah couldn't help but remember him commenting that he had never been fussed over by his family very often. Sarah excused herself to go and retrieve the medical kit from the bathroom while the Rhodes siblings glared at each other. When she got back, Connor was still half-lying, half-sitting on the sofa while Claire was having a conversation, or rather an argument, on her phone in the kitchen.

Sarah wound her way over to Connor, sending a wary glance in Claire's direction, hoping that nothing was wrong.

"Family business." Connor said as explanation to his sister's phone call. He shrugged his right shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Always comes first." He didn't say it with malice or regret. He said it as a matter of fact, and that just made Sarah's heat hurt for him more.

She sat down beside him and could see, even from where she was, that he was starting to run a temperature. His hair was sticking to his forehead, and it didn't help her worries when she noticed the laborious breaths he was taking. She wasn't sure if it was from his over-exertion or from a possible infection.

"Have you taken your medication for this evening?" She asked, while pressing her hand to his forehead.

He shook his head, "I was a little pre-occupied."

"Connor." She moaned in annoyance. "They're important."

"You're important." He mumbled back at her reprisal, his eyes started to flutter closed from where he sat but a satisfied smirk formed on his lips. She had a feeling that he didn't even need to look at her to know that his words could make her blush.

"You have to keep up with the course of treatment you were given. You know that better than I do."

"I love you?" He grinned in response, blinking his eyes open, despite the pain he was in. And she knew that he knew that his words would work.

Because how was she supposed to keep a straight face?

"You're impossible." She told him before getting up to retrieve the bag of medication that sat atop the counter top in the kitchen.

But he did love her and he did care. He risked his own health to show her that. She never wanted him to do that, but it made up for the uncertainty that had plagued her heart since the gala.

She rustled through the bag while Claire argued on and set out the ones he needed, double checking the labels while she hated to think about how panicked she would be if she weren't a qualified doctor.

"Okay, you're going to need to eat with these." She said as she laid out the relevant bottles in front of him and glanced to the kitchen, "I can rustle you up what I can." She offered with a small shrug.

Claire Rhodes seemed to have impeccable timing as she chose that moment to come off the phone ad hear the doubt in Sarah's voice. "Oh, I had Ruth make a week's supple of food, it's all in the fridge, and they just need reheating." She told Sarah before hovering around Connor.

"Great, I'll take care of it." Sarah said, quickly retreating to the kitchen. She had enough siblings to recognise the signs of the start of an argument. Claire's clipped tone and the fact that she didn't sit down all made Sarah rustle around the kitchen, hoping to give them some privacy.

But no amount of banging plates around, and double checking microwave settings or opening and closing a refrigerator could detract from the fact that Connor's kitchen and living room were open plan. All the rattling around that she tried couldn't block out Claire's words.

"You know how it is Connor. This deal is _big_. I have to help clinch it before slips through our fingers." She told him, her tone becoming more business-like and more like her father's the more she spoke. "Look, you'll be fine. The doctors wouldn't have released you if you weren't. You have a kitchen full of food, and I'll have Ruth and Dan call over twice a day while I'm away to make sure you're comfortable. This is important for us Connor."

"I don't want your PA and you're chauffeur to call…" Connor started but Sarah didn't want to keep listening and hurried away to the bathroom to give them some privacy. But what she didn't expect when she got back to the kitchen was for one of the Rhodes siblings to be missing. Claire was nowhere to be found.

"And _that_ is why I told you I wasn't used to being fussed over." Connor's voice resounded around the empty space when he saw Sarah looking around for Claire. The complete dejection in his voice sounded too sharp, like it could pierce Sarah's skin. "She's so like him sometimes. They try though, I suppose, it's just who they are."

"I'm sorry." She said, sitting down by him again, at loss of what to say to take the haunted look from his eyes.

"It's alright. I'm used to it." He shrugged again, his eyes trying and failing to stay open.

She forgot to be angry or to hold onto any hurt he had caused her and leaned across on instinct. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him lightly, "I'm here, okay?"

His eyes shot open at her words and he nodded.

"Just stay awake for a few more minutes, you can eat and then take your medication and then get some well-deserved rest." She told him in no uncertain terms. She dished out the heated food, taking some for herself too, and they ate in silence. She was just relieved that it wasn't an uncomfortable one. He took his medicine straight after and when his temperature hadn't gotten any better, she put it down to his over-exertion.

She put the plates to the side and half-helped and half-followed him to his bedroom so he could lie down. Nothing had changed since she had been there last. He sat down at the edge of his bed, facing the Chicago skyline and unbuttoned his shirt with a struggle and then lay down against the pillows, exhaustion playing its part, and his eyes closing again.

Sarah looked around, looked anywhere that wasn't at Connor, just to focus on anything other than the fact that he was shirtless. She whipped her head to make sure that the picture from their first date was still in its place on his wardrobe. It was.

She sat down at the edge of the bed next to him and rummaged in his medical kit and the medication bag, preparing to change the dressings that were covering his heart.

"This is going to hurt a bit." She whispered slightly, not knowing if he was awake or sleeping. She reached down to start peeling away the bandages that were stuck to his chest. His eyes shot open with the contact of her hands on his skin. He winced slightly as she tugged gently. "Sorry, I'll fix it up quick, then you can rest." She promised.

His skin was an angry red beneath her hands. But his eyes stayed on hers. She worked quickly and quietly, removing the bandages with an efficiency that Maggie would be proud of.

But Maggie's words still haunted her. And she had to rip off the band aid.

"A man came in asking for you today." She had to broach the subject. Before she lost her nerve too much, before she got too damn distracted by his current state of only being half dressed and before she let him hide any more secrets. "He wanted to thank you for trying to save his wife. She had committed suicide...he just wanted me to pass on how grateful he was." She said in a quiet voice and watched his face pale as she removed the dressings on his stitches.

"Oh."

Silence stretched out between them but Sarah hoped then that maybe the man's thanks might put Connor's mind at ease a bit more.

"Greg." He said out of nowhere.

"Sorry?"

"Greg…was the man you were talking to. He was her husband. The only reason I remember his name is because he was hysterical when we were treating his wife. Maggie had to keep shouting his name…" Connor's voice drifted around the room that was quickly becoming dark as the moon started to rise outside.

"It stuck with me I guess. He showed emotion. My father never did that when Mom…"

She swallowed and nodded. "It was a bad case?" She knew that she was prodding at the open wound the case had left, but she could see it eating away at him. He hissed in pain as she reapplied the disinfectant cream.

She had to keep her eyes on what she was doing, because she couldn't watch the tears form in his eyes.

"It was bad timing. She had a husband, and two kids. And then the gala and then my Mum's anniversary and...ugh." He growled in pain as she wiped his stitches clean. "Why did she do it? She had two kids. Does she even know what she's done to them?"

She didn't know which woman he was talking about anymore. "I don't know why."

His mother, the woman he had treated or both?

"The kids…I just saw Claire and me in their faces." He huffed and his skin jumped under her touch as she reapplied the dressing. "Then that stupid gala…and everything was just shoved back in my face."

"I can't imagine what you went through." She told him, as she ensured that the dressings were secure. She wished there was something more she could say or do to make it better. To stop him sounding so lost.

"That doesn't excuse the way I treated you Sarah." He said, finding her hand and intertwining their fingers.

"Maybe not, but it explains a lot." She admitted, squeezing his hand.

"I didn't want you to have to take on my problems. They're usually a bit much for people."

"You do know that you don't have to go through these things alone anymore right?"

He just shook his head, "That's all I've ever done since she died. Between the long line of nannies and the arguments from everywhere in my family…" he just shrugged hopelessly.

"Well you listen to everything and anything I rant about, it's the least I can do in return."

He laughed, but it was humourless, "You know me bringing up my family problems is where people usually leave."

He just stared at the ceiling as she repacked his bag. And that was all she needed to make her decision. Even saying those words, he was exposing his worst fears and insecurities. He wasn't keeping her out, he was letting her in more than anyone before.

"I'm not going anywhere." She replied.

His eyes found hers, as if they were hesitant to believe her, but she held his gaze, hoping to reassure him. He moved her hand to his mouth and placed a light kiss along her knuckles.

"I am beyond tired." He admitted a few minutes later when she returned from clearing up the kitchen and the medicine.

"You should sleep." She told him, leaning down to kiss him softly.

"Stay. Please." He said, holding onto her hand as she made to leave him in peace to get some rest.

"Connor…" She tried to protest, but in the back of her mind, she didn't want to leave him all by himself either.

"I just don't want to let you go again."

And if that didn't completely make her make up her mind, nothing would. He was the first person to tell her he loved her and the only person that hadn't gotten tired of her, that wanted to keep fighting for her, that wanted to keep being with her even when things got tough.

Any past boyfriends had gotten bored of her dedication to her studies, or got annoyed with how much she talked about her family, or gotten tired of hearing her doubts and worries.

"Just stay?" He asked again, but Sarah could already see the pain killers working their magic and making it difficult for him to keep his eyes open.

"I'll stay." She told him. He smiled, getting under the bed covers. She gave up trying to pretend that she wanted to leave as she watched his eyes flutter close. She took off her cardigan and crept around to the other side of the bed.

He reached for her hand and she listened while his breath evened out and sleep seemed to take hold.

"I love you Sarah." He mumbled, half-awake or half-asleep, she didn't know.

She laid there, her hand in his, knowing that there was only ever one decision she was going to make. That she was going to stay. All she had really wanted to know was if he still cared enough for her, and she had gotten her answer.

"I love you too Connor Rhodes." She whispered back.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

I'd love to know what you think!

And to the guest reviewer from the last chapter that said they wanted to see Rheese cuddles…I've been trying to figure out how to get them into the story for a while now…hope you liked it!


	20. Chapter 20

Chp 20

Sarah woke up disorientated. She groaned and mumbled about it being too early while tried to move her pillow to get more comfortable and go back to sleep but it wouldn't budge and all she heard was a familiar laugh in her ear.

"Good morning to you too." Connor's voice echoed through the room. She didn't open her eyes just yet. But she could feel him breathing under her cheek, his arm that was somehow around her waist wasn't scorching like it was the night before, and she could hear the delight evident in his voice.

She mumbled some more into his chest that had replaced her pillow sometime in the night. She could have stayed like that all day. Where the only movement was the rising and falling of their chests together, where the only thing that existed in her state of half-consciousness was her and Connor in their little bubble.

He pulled her closer if that were possible, and the only thoughts that broke through her half sleep dazed mind was the fact that he loved her. And that she was determined, more than ever, to make them work.

But she had work.

And that woke her up. She dragged herself to sit up and get some clear thought into her head, and remind herself of the fact that she couldn't just lay around all day. Though the man beside her made that prospect very alluring.

Connor cleared his throat, "So about that pain medication, could you get some for me?"

"Connor! Have you been in pain long? You should have woke me up." She told him as she nearly fell face flat on the floor in her quick movements to get out of bed and into the kitchen to retrieve his morning dose of medication.

He was half sitting up by the time she got back, "I wasn't in too much pain. And you are incredibly distracting when you sleeping, you look too adorable."

As she set out his medicine, she idly wondered if he would ever stop having that effect on her. The ability to make her heart race, or butterflies erupt at his touch, or to be able to fluster her with his words.

He took the medicine with the glass of water she handed him. If he had looked tired last night, this morning was ten times worse. She figured his body was only now catching up with the idiotic actions of his heart.

"I can call into work." She said, taking his glass from him and helping him lie down again. "I haven't asked for many days off before, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"No way. You're not doing that for me." He said, fighting to stay awake.

"Connor, you're in no condition to be on your own. A few missed shifts won't matter if it helps to get better."

"Sarah. You're already on thin ice in cardiology because of us. Let's not give them another reason to call you in. I appreciate it, but you're not losing your residency over me."

"It's a few shifts, it's not that bad." She countered.

"You know you residency is like one long interview. You can't jeopardise your reputation and hard work because I'm not well."

He was right. And she knew it. Deep down. But she thought she hadn't been under as much scrutiny from her superiors as before, but apparently Connor had been hearing things she hadn't.

"I don't like you being alone like this." She said.

"I'll be fine." He waved away her concerns.

"I'll ring Maggie, or Ethan or someone, just if they're off they could check in on you during the day."

"There's no need for that Sarah."

"It'll put my mind at ease for the day." She warned.

That made him relent, "Okay, but they don't have to…" He yawned.

"You get some rest." She told him.

"Go to work Sarah."

"I'll come over straight after." She told him.

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." She smiled.

She missed spending time with him, she missed their talks about anything and everything, she missed their coffee and random dates and she just missed him.

So she left for work soon after he had fallen asleep. It didn't take her half as long to there from Connor's apartment as opposed to her own house. So she could get some breakfast and set herself up for the day. Maggie met her in the lounge just before her shift and let her know that she had sorted for one of them to check in on Connor during the day. She smiled, thanked Maggie and it just served to remind her why she thought of them all as family.

Her shift was harder than normal. A high profile patient had been flown in especially for the Chicago Med cardiology team. And she was one of the only residents allowed to attend. Some days she thought she was getting the hang of practising cardiology and other days she felt like she was drowning in all the information she had to take in on the job. This wasn't medical school. With the added pressure of her Connor situation, it was a lot to take on.

But she got through the day. Maggie even caught her again on the way out and told her to be ready for a Med party in the not so distant future. If Sarah wasn't so worried about getting home to check on Connor, she would have stayed longer to hear Maggie's rant about how the firefighters get a summer barbecue and the Med staff don't get one and how she was going to put it right. Sarah promised her to meet her at Molly's some evening to catch up on the plans before she excused herself to leave.

She made the short trip to Connor's apartment and who was sat on one of the chairs when she let herself in?

None other than one Dr Will Halstead.

"Hey Sarah." He smiled from where he was flicking through the tv channels.

"Hi...Will."

"You didn't know I was here." He pointed at her confused expression. "I'm the doctor on call, so to speak." And Sarah thought he sounded very pleased with his medical joke. "Maggie rang around, I was off today…" he shrugged like it was no big deal.

But Sarah knew it was. She knew that Connor didn't get too close to people. She wondered if he even considered his colleagues his friends. But she knew the rest of the staff cared about each other. And about Connor.

Especially Will. They were too similar sometimes to see it, and gave out about each other most of the time during her first year, but they had a great respect for each other. She always thought they could be great friends if they just gave up fighting so much.

"Oh thanks Will. I really appreciate it." She said, "Claire hasn't called since or his father so…"

"I know all about dysfunctional families." He nodded. "So he's just gone back to sleep. I gave him the medication and he's moving around already. He's making a pretty good recovery, he should be back arguing with me at work in no time."

She knew Connor would heal up soon, but it didn't hurt to have a second opinion.

Will's phone beeped and when he retrieved it from his pocket, Sarah watched a huge smile appear on his face. He put the phone away just as fast but still had a smile on his face when he looked back at Sarah.

"Oh it's just Nat. April is dragging her to Molly's later. Do you want to come?"

"No, thanks, when everything settles down a bit." She shrugged, they chatted for a while more before she saw him to the door. She went to check on Connor, still asleep, and went about heating a dinner for them both.

Connor plodded into the kitchen as she was just putting his dinner on a tray to bring to him. "Hey, you're up." She smiled.

"Yeah." He yawned, musing up his already messed up hair. "Halstead's gone?"

"Yeah a little while ago. Nat texted him, they were going to Molly's." She told him.

"He wasn't too bad today." Connor admitted, taking a seat. "Surprise visitor but we get along okay when we're not killing each other over patients." He chuckled.

"I knew you two would get along." She put it out there for the record.

"I don't have many people I can trust, but Med is pretty great. Just takes a bit of getting used to."

"Well don't let Maggie know." Sarah warned in jest, "She'll start everyone thinking you guys have the best bromance in the hospital."

"I would bet money about Will and Nat though. His face when she texted him was adorable." She said, bringing the plates over to the table.

"Are you not part of the pool already?" She watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What pool?" She asked, sitting down beside him to eat.

"The ED staff and half the nurses in Med have had a pool going, betting when Halstead and Manning are ever going to get together...?"

"What? How have I never heard of this?" She laughed, but then she nodded, "But it doesn't really surprise me. It seemed like half of Med knew about us _before_ we knew about us."

"That's true." He laughed.

They ate dinner, while she relayed her day at work and he told her about Will meeting his sister's chauffeur. He had her in tears of laughter over the story.

Connor suddenly felt awake, but she wasn't about to go let him over-exert himself again, so they put on a movie in the living room and nestled down on the sofa together to watch it. Sarah had to bit back soft laughter when she noticed that Connor had fallen asleep half way through.

He looked so peaceful as he slept. No signs of concern over patients, no annoyance at his family, no pain was evident on his face. She had to wake him up and make him get up and go to bed though, there was no point in him straining his neck from the way he had fallen asleep sitting up on the sofa.

She found herself where she had been the night before, tending to his stitches that were healing up nicely. There was no sign of infection, and she made sure he kept up with his medication.

She worked quickly, her fingers dancing over his skin with efficiency, and she had the wound cleaned in no time. She hesitated when she put everything away. She knew she was staying again with him, she knew she wouldn't sleep at her own house when she knew he was alone. But she didn't know whether to invite herself to his guest room. She started overthinking it, she admitted to herself, about whether he even wanted her to stay, whether she was being a nuisance.

"You're not leaving are you?" He asked, as she bustled about.

She didn't know what to answer, she had been weighing up her options. She didn't want to suffocate him but she didn't like him being alone.

"You can stay if you want." He offered. "It's a shorter trip to the hospital." He pointed out with a grin, knowing, she thought, full well that she didn't like her long commute. "And I like having you here when I wake up, even if you do treat me like a pillow." He smiled.

She laughed softly at his mocking, "You don't mind me staying? I don't like leaving you alone like this."

"Sarah, I love having you stay." He smiled, tugging her hand and pulling her down gently for a kiss.

So she changed into his clothes that were still too big on her and crawled into bed beside him. He nodded off in no time and she found herself following him soon after.

She was woken up by a sudden noise. Something was in pain.

Not something, but someone, she thought in panic and her eyes flew open. Connor was moaning in pain and thrashing around in the bed beside her.

She sat up to lean over and wake him but it just got worse. He started shouting. Nothing she could catch onto, just odds and ends of words.

"Stop. No. I told you. That's what she said. No."

She didn't get a chance to wake him up reassure him before the shouting ended just as fast as it begun and he came to a complete stop before breaking down in tears. His sobbing broke her heart but she was worried that it was doing more damage to his own heart, moving his stitches around too much.

She crawled over to him, nearly leaning on him, holding onto his arms. "Connor. Connor wake up. It's fine. You're fine. Everything's okay." She kept murmuring reassurances as she felt him jolt awake.

"Sarah…" He asked, his head turning in the dark, searching for her.

"I'm right here, you're fine." She said, moving her hands to cradle his face.

His tears had ebbed off, from the shock of waking up. His breathing was ragged and his hands were shaking when he placed them over hers.

"It was a dream." He seemed to tell himself more than her.

"Yeah." She reassured him.

He pulled her down to him, peppering her hair with kisses and breathing her in, while she lay her head in the crook of his neck and felt his pulse slow down.

"I thought I had lost you." His voice sounded hoarse. "You got the bullets…and my Mom was there and that woman and her family and…."

She could feel his heart start to race again so she got up to look in his eyes. Her own eyes had adjusted to the dark searched him. "I'm okay. I promise. It was _just_ a dream."

His hand wound around the back of her neck and he traced his thumb up and down along her skin, "I love you." He said with such conviction in voice and honesty in his eyes.

She had thought, with her being the young romantic she had been, that the first time she had told anyone she loved them, it would be some big display, that there would be fireworks and trumpets and wind machines. And her rational, analytic side, was determined that she shouldn't really ever utter the words and risk her heart being hurt and her emotions getting the better of her studies.

And while she had uttered the words the previous night, she wasn't sure she had heard her. And this time, she wanted to make sure that he did.

But there she was, with Dr Connor Rhodes beside her. With all the dancing around each other that they had done, with the secrets they had kept and fallings outs they had had. But with the knowledge that he loved her, that she was the one he looked for now, that he made her feel special, that he opened up to her when he wouldn't let anyone else in, the magical moment that dreamed would need planning, happened all on its own.

"I love you too." She replied with equal sincerity.

And really, she thought in that moment, who needed fanfare when she got to see Connor's reaction? One of his rare, proper smiles that lit up his entire face appeared in front of her and she could honestly say that she had never seen him as happy.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed this._

 _I can't believe this is chapter 20! I really didn't know what this story was going to grow into when I started it, so thanks so much to everyone for reading and giving me support and to every single person that reviews, it all means so much and gives me such motivation to keep going! I still can't believe that people like my writing and my ideas so I'm beyond glad that you all seem to be enjoying my little story. :)_

 _More Rheese coming soon!_


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: I'm sorry for the delay with this chapter but I'll hopefully get back to a more regular update schedule soon. Thanks for sticking with this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter._

* * *

They loved each other.

So Sarah had never been as unhappy to see Claire Rhodes again. Connor's sister had made it back from her all-important business trip three weeks later and apparently now Connor's welfare took priority in her life. She moved into his spare room to keep an eye on him. Connor had told her that he didn't need a babysitter anymore, he was ten times better than he was before she went away. But Sarah soon realised that Claire was as stubborn as her brother. Claire dug her heels in, and moved her bags in that night.

And with Claire back, there was no excuse for Sarah to stay with Connor anymore. His stitches had been removed a few days previous, so there was no need for her medical attention. And she had her own house to live in while Claire took up residence in the guest bedroom.

Sarah had gotten into a routine that she loved, too. Connor's company had certainly swayed her feelings about it. Every morning, the first thing that she saw was his face, and the first thing that she heard was his voice. She could see his improvement evident every day, especially with the physiotherapy he had been attending. He would make her breakfast while she got ready for the day. She would leave articles for him to read. She was getting through her work. Her Dad was doing fine. Everything had settled down so nicely, that she hated any upset to her routine.

And she felt silly. But she missed him when she moved back to her house. She missed him when she woke up in the mornings, or last thing before she went to sleep at night. She missed their mocking commentary through his endless supply of movies. She missed their walks around the block, where she could huddle close to him for warmth. Heck, she even missed the extra coffee she could get in the morning from the shorter commute to work she had had.

Or how she had picked up on more of his quirks. That he liked his kitchen and bathroom as organised as he would like an operating theatre and that he would deny it all he liked but he loved watching sappy movies with her. And it was a two way street. So much so that she had felt more at home in his apartment than she had anywhere since she had moved out of home for college. He knew how she liked her eggs, and put a radio in the bathroom so she could have music to sing along to in the shower, and that she liked to add to her study notes every night before bed. He had even accepted the fact that she had claimed some of his t-shirts and sweatshirts as her own.

Not that they wouldn't bicker, they would, over tidying up, or plans they had made, or even over decisions on her work. But they could challenge each other. They could challenge each other without falling out over it. And she loved that too.

So that was why she was moping around her room, unable to take anymore of her own longings for Connor, his apartment and easy company, she decided to head to the Med library, to at least try and get something productive done from her time missing him on her day off. Claire had organised a family day for Connor, herself and their father. And while she could tell Connor wasn't overly enthusiastic about it all, he was looking forward to it. So she stayed away.

She sat down at an empty desk in the vast library, put her phone on silent, and after a few failed attempts, she dived back into her studies. She was in the middle of highlighting the symptoms of a case she had had the week before when she heard her name being said.

She glanced up and couldn't be more surprised to see who was standing beside her desk, none other than Kate Geraghty was looking back at her.

"Kate! Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks. Better than expected so far, but it's still a long road." She said, "But there's only so much sitting around at home I can do. But the library is pretty much as far as my parents will let me go."

"That's really good to hear." Sarah said, clearing off the chair beside her of all the books and materials she had dumped on it. "Here, sit down."

"Thanks. Yeah, it'll be awhile before I'm back on duty, but they can't stop me from researching." She smiled, "How are you finding your residency?"

Sarah took a breath, wondering how she could put it into words. In most ways, it was good, but it was also the hardest thing she had done in her life. "I don't know…?" She said, not knowing if it was a statement or a question.

"Ah." Kate nodded, "So you've reached the 'aha I've settled in – oh crap what I am doing' phase. I'm afraid it doesn't really go away, but it is better than the blind panic of student rotation."

Sarah was going to reply but her phone screen lit up from where it was sitting in front of Dr Geraghty. It was a message from her sister Hannah. But Kate saw it before Sarah could move her phone.

Connor had not been pleased when she had moved back to her own house. He had swiped her phone that evening and set her screensaver to a picture of the two of them. It was one of her new favourites. He had asked Claire's PA to take it of the two of them, sitting on his couch. They just looked so contented and happy. And he had remained adamant that he made it his screensaver too, just so he could see her even when she wasn't staying with him anymore.

"Is that…?" Kate grinned, looking from the phone screen and back to Sarah.

"Oh, eh, yeah…we're…it kind of worked out…" Sarah mumbled back, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.

"Oh my gosh, that is you and Dr Rhodes. I told you so!"

"You did." Sarah laughed.

And she couldn't help but smile at the picture of the two of them, lighting up her phone.

* * *

"Hi there Mr Donovan." Sarah smiled at her regular patient as he took a seat in front of her a few days later. "It's good to see you're doing well."

He was an elderly man, sweet as pie, with a cardiac history. His family liked to make sure he got regular check-ups on the murmur in his heart that had presumably been caused by his heart attack five years previous.

"Thank you my dear. And how are you?"

He was one of her only regular patients, and he had took her aside during his first visit with her and they had a long chat. He liked to get to know his doctors. And he had even promised to help her work on her bedside manner, apparently she reminded him of his granddaughter, and he thought she was a very capable doctor.

She got the EKG machine ready to use, "I'm good, thanks. How's Betty's pregnancy going?"

"Oh it's going well, only a few more weeks and I'll be a great-granddad again." He beamed at her as she led him to sit down on the bed.

"They'll be one lucky kid."

He nodded back while he yawned.

That was odd.

"Are you feeling tired lately Mr Donovan?"

"Oh not much more so than usual, I am ninety three, I figure it comes with the territory." But Sarah noted it anyway.

"Well you keep an eye on that, if you start feeling fatigued too much, feel free to ring us here, and we'll run some other tests okay?"

"Alright, but I'm not that tired." He told her as she placed the monitor on his chest. She watched as the readings formed, there was the slight murmur, no more than usual, and all other stats were healthy.

She wrote up her report, "Well, Mr Donovan, I think you're good here. I'll make sure you're booked for an appointment next month okay?"

"Thank you Doctor, I'll see you next time, I should have a picture of the baby by then!"

She smiled as she let him out and called her next patient in.

Her lunch time was spent on a 'sister conference call' as they had dubbed it. All four of the Reese sisters held a group talk when Hannah wanted outfit opinions for her next date.

She was doing her last rounds before her shift was finished when she nearly fell over her own feet when she walked by one of the intensive care rooms and watched Ethan exit the room.

"Dr Choi? What's going on? That's my patient. I saw him a few hours ago." She told him and the nurse that had left the room as well. "He was perfectly healthy."

"I'm sorry Dr Reese. He was brought in on by ambulance, he had gone into heart failure before we could do anything. His lungs had congested so much, we had to intubate him." He patted her shoulder and apologised before excusing himself.

She let herself and check his charts. Nothing made sense, he had been fine a few hours previous. His EKG had been clear. The poor man was lying unconscious, hooked up to a number of machines, everything he had told her he never wanted.

His supervising cardiologist was Dr Gellar. Sarah didn't delay in getting to his office.

She knocked and was called in.

"Dr Reese, what can I do for you?"

"Dr Gellar, a patient was just admitted, Mr Donovan, ninety-three, with acute heart failure."

"Yes. Just a few minutes ago."

"Is there anything we can do, he was a patient of mine this morning…"

"Yes, I read that, I'm afraid some cardiac events just can't be predicted. You did everything right."

"Can we perform a myocardial biopsy? Or a….?"

"Dr Reese, I'm afraid the family have asked that no such invasive procedures are carried out. I'm sorry, but the priority now is to make Mr Donovan comfortable."

"Dr Gellar, I really think that we should look at the…"

"Dr Reese, is his heart murmur and blood oxygen levels now at the normal levels?" He asked, with a pointed stare.

"Yes." She admitted, before taking a breath, "But…"

"But nothing, there's no point preforming such invasive tests if we have no concrete proof of what the underlying condition is. I'm sorry, that's my decision."

She checked in on the man before she left at the end of the shift, she updated his daughter on his condition. And let herself have a cry in the bathroom cubicle before changing to go home. Nobody ever said medicine was going to be easy.

She was wandering out the doors and toward her bus stop when she heard her name being called.

"Hey." Connor smiled from his car door in the parking lot.

"Connor, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" She asked, as she took a detour to walk over to him.

"I'm fine. I thought I'd surprise you. Bad day?"

"Pretty much." She admitted, letting her shoulders sag, and closing the space between them and burying her face in the crook of his neck, "But you're a pretty good distraction."

"Well I'm glad you think so." He said while kissing her hair. "How about dinner at our restaurant? Take your mind off things."

Their restaurant. The very one they had gone to on their first date. They had been back enough times that they now had regular orders.

"It sounds great." She told him, anything sounded good once she could spend time with him.

They were half way through their meal when Connor yawned.

"I'm sorry." He excused himself as he yawned. "Physiotherapy was tough today."

"Tiredness." Sarah felt like a lightbulb had gone off in her head.

"I'm sorry?"

"Cardiomyopathy."

"Sarah, what?"

"Mr Donovan! I need to run some tests, and he wanted to see his great-grandchild." She said, her mind racing. "I know Dr Gellar thinks…" She faltered.

"Sarah." Connor said, covering her hand with his own. "You've as good a medical opinion as anyone else, it's worth a shot." He beckoned for the bill. "Come on, I'll drive you back."

She explained her theory to Connor as they tore back across town. "It could be restrictive cardiomyopathy, it can cause heart failure and may not have many symptoms. But he did mention that he was feeling tired, fatigue was a possible symptom."

Connor nodded in agreement, so she continued, "I know his family don't want invasive procedures, but he does have a murmur, another symptom, and we can try a cardiac catherization. If I'm right, then all we can just try alcohol septal ablation, not very invasive, it will improve his symptoms, enough to pump blood, and clear his lungs, and then we can take it from there."

The car stopped at the exit, "Then go tell them that." He said, kissing her quickly.

She smiled, she had never felt so confident in her own opinion before, and his support had always been there even when her belief hadn't been. She rushed up the stairs, hoping to catch Dr Gellar, and caught him on his way out.

"Dr Gellar…!" She couldn't blame the doctor for his confused look at her rushing down the hallways in her regular clothes. But she reiterated everything she had practised and waited with baited breath for an answer.

He nodded, "Yes, I see. Get changed Dr Reese, I presume you'll want to be involved in his treatment?"

"Yes." She replied without hesitation, turning to rush back down to change back in.

"And Dr Reese?"

She turned back at his words.

"Good work."


	22. Chapter 22

There were certain things that Sarah was sure of.

That she had made the right choice, deciding to pursue medicine as a career..

That it was, and always would be, hard work.

That Connor, however, was a welcome distraction.

The noise happening downstairs however, was not. Sarah lifted her head from where she had just read the same sentence at least eight times. She couldn't process the words because every time she tried, the raucous would grow louder.

It wasn't Lauren's fault. Sarah's roommate had cleared it with everyone in the house that it would be okay if her family came over for a small gathering. But Sarah was in the middle of preparing for a major surgery the next day and needed serious quiet and calm to get through it. It was the most complex aspect of cardiology that she had come across so far, and it didn't help that Lauren's family apparently had about one hundred children that were screaming and shouting in delight, along with the murmur of loud adult voices. Sarah lay her head on her desk and groaned. Because she only had a limited amount of time.

She just needed a few solid hours of research and she'd be fine.

She picked up her phone and texted Connor.

 _Do you think Will's brother could get me off charges if I harmed my roommate right about now?_

She was joking, but the stress was piling up on her. She needed to get her research done. And time was ticking away too quick, and she couldn't concentrate, and she never said that she was rational when she was busy studying and stressing about it.

 _Yeah and Dawson's brother is in the DA office now right? You'll covered. ;)_

That made her smile.

 _What's up?_

He texted back again a second later.

That made her smile grow, because he always knew when something was bothering her.

 _Roommate is having a family get together…I don't think I'll get through all this in time for tomorrow and Med's library is always too busy this time of day._

 _Come over here to study. It's only me here, so it's quiet and I can cook you lunch._

 _Really?_

 _Sure. I can pick you up if you want?_

Sarah looked over to the pile of books she had accumulated from the library, her own purchases and notebooks that were bursting at the seams. It sounded like a very good idea. She didn't know how she could carry everything by herself.

That was how, twenty minutes later, she followed Connor as he carried half of her study materials through his door. He laid them on the dining table.

He was getting restless now, being off work for so long, and even Sarah was sure that he was nearly ready for it all again. He would need a few more assessments, but she could see him back to work soon.

"Are you sure this is okay….?" She asked, after hauling her bag onto a chair.

"It's more than okay." He frowned, then kissed her quickly, far too quickly for her liking. "Residency study is the hardest. And I happen to like you're company." He smirked.

She fought a smile in vain, "Well I appreciate this..." She said as she sat down.

"Anything I can get you, water…?"

"Sure. Thanks." She started opening the book, with the passage she was stuck on while he rattled around the kitchen. He placed the glass of water near her and she hesitated while unloading her army of stationary.

She didn't know if was going to like her 'studying-furiously' aspect of her personality. But he sat down at the other side of the table and started reading the Spanish newspaper he always ordered. He looked up when he felt her staring across at him.

"You okay?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah, I am." She smiled, because he didn't complain about her incessant studying like some ex-boyfriends she had had, because he content that she was just there. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She reverted her attention to the task in front of her and ended up getting lost in it. The explanation, and cases and methods. She spread her materials around and cross-checked and took notes and didn't even realise it was lunch time until Connor placed a plate in front of her.

"You need to eat." He said.

"Oh, thanks." She was drawn from her little bubble and it took her a second to return to reality.

He went to turn away but turned back to her and smirked before leaning down and winding a hand to the back of her neck and kissing her like he was drowning and she was oxygen. He pulled back when they actually needed air and Sarah felt like every fibre of being was buzzing from his touch.

"Sorry," He laughed quietly, "But you look ridiculously beautiful when you study."

She was lucky she had nearly finished with what she needed to research. She had been right, he _was_ a distraction too. Now he sat across from her, acting like nothing had happened, after kissing her like that!

She ate what he had made, and finished off on some notes before calling it quits. Her brain couldn't take any more for the day anyway.

"All finished?" he asked, over his paper, where she had begun to pack away her books and notes.

"Yeah." She said, zipping closed her pencil case.

"Good, now come here." He smiled, taking her hand and leading her to the sofa to draw her close and kiss her like he was drowning again.

Her phone buzzed a while later and she picked it up to find Natalie on the other side.

"Hi Sarah, how are you? I hope I'm not interrupting your day."

"Hey Nat." She had to turn the laugh at the look of abandonment on Connor's face on the sofa and she stood up to stop her to clear her head from spinning from his kisses. "No, not at all…is everything okay?"

"Well I actually rang for help, and feel totally free to refuse me, I know its short notice. But I had plans to go out this evening. And Owen's normal babysitter is sick, Helen is busy, and even April and Maggie are out, and I wouldn't normally ask, but you don't happen to be free to mind Owen for a few hours do you?"

The question threw her. Sure, she had younger sisters, but by the time she was old enough to babysit them, they had been able to entertain themselves. Owen was still one. Her and babies had never clicked. Her sisters had gotten all the babysitting jobs on their street because she had always been too busy studying to get into medical school.

But Nat was a friend, family at this point, and Sarah found that she couldn't refuse.

"Eh sure Natalie, I'm free. What time were you thinking?"

* * *

Blind panic. It was blind panic that made her call Connor, and the need to hear a familiar voice. Owen hadn't stopped crying for over thirty minutes and she didn't know what to do anymore. She had changed him, twice, tried to feed him his bottle, tried to put him to sleep, bounced him up and down, tried to read to him, but nothing was working. There was nothing medical wrong with him, that much she was sure, he just hadn't taken to her. At all.

"Hey Sweetheart, you okay?" Connor asked when he picked up.

"No." She said, through Owen's wails. It got to the point where she was almost crying with him too. "Owen won't stop crying, and I don't know what to do, and I don't want to worry Nat. You don't know anything about crying babies do you?"

She was beginning to think that she shouldn't have cheated in her own baby-doll class in high school. If she had gone through with it, she might have picked up a few pointers. She nearly cried with relief when he said he'd call over and see if he could help, obviously hearing the desperation in his voice.

It took a while for him to cross town, and Sarah had nearly cracked it. She loved the baby. Owen was cute, when he wasn't wailing at her, and she just wanted to be able to help. Be able to finally connect with some baby. She lay him down in his cot and started play peekaboo. He didn't smile or laugh, but he had almost stopped crying.

Just when the doorbell rang, signalling Connor's arrival, and Owen started crying again.

Luckily, it turned out that Connor had the magic touch.

* * *

Sarah cleared up the kitchen from where she had made Owen's bottles and made her way back into the living room where she found Owen sleeping. And Connor sleeping too.

And her heart leapt to her throat. Connor was lying there, holding Owen securely against his chest, and both were sleeping soundly. And Owen had the same dark hair as Connor. And Sarah suddenly felt like she had been hit by lightning. Awestruck.

Because she had some learning to do, but he was perfect with kids.

He would be perfect with _their_ kids.

She nearly jumped at her own thoughts and shook her head. She was racing far too ahead, far too quickly. But it didn't stop her from wondering what a child from the two of them would look like as she sat in one of the armchairs and took out a book to read.

The words were swimming in front of her and she was nearly nodding off herself when Nat opened the front door. Sarah stretched when Nat opened the living room door more. She smiled and waved over to her.

Sarah was sure she had seen a flash of ginger fly by the front window, but she could have been half-dreaming, and instead turned her attention back to Natalie who was beaming at the scenario in front of her. Sarah smiled sheepishly and followed her into the kitchen.

"I didn't have the heart to wake them." Sarah admitted with a smile. "He's better with kids than I am...I hope you don't mind I asked him over to help."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit." Natalie told her. "No, of course I don't mind, you could have called me."

"No, I didn't want to ruin you're evening. How was it anyway?"

"It was great." Natalie smiled brightly. "Thanks for everything Sarah." She said as she hugged her.

"No problem." Sarah said, "I better go wake sleeping beauty and let you have your son back though." She giggled quietly before the two women crept back into the living room.

"Connor?" She whispered, hoping not to wake Owen again. "Connor, Nat's home."

He just mumbled something incoherently, and Owen nestled further into his chest.

Sarah had to nudge his shoulder to get him wake. He glanced around blearily, before remembering where he was, making sure that Owen was still in his arms.

"I'll take him, thanks Connor." Natalie said, scooping a still sleeping Owen up into her arms.

"No problem." He said, sitting up, and blinking a few times and rubbing his face.

"Were we asleep for long?"

"No, not too long, though it _was_ one way to settle him." Sarah told him.

The couple bid Nat a goodnight not too long after, hopping into Connor's car.

"Would you mind dropping me home? I know it's late…" She asked, and he stayed quiet beside her for a moment or two before she could hear him take a breath.

"Sarah, you just stay at mine. It's late, there's no point in you going all the way back home tonight to trek back to work tomorrow morning." He said.

"Are you sure?"

"Claire has now remembered that we are in fact siblings, and remembered that we drive each other crazy when we live together. She now thinks I'm better and she'd kill me if she stayed any longer, so as of a few hours ago she's moved out." He explained. "So yeah, I'd like you to stay."

They were lying together later that night, in the darkness, and she could practically _hear_ him thinking.

"What are you thinking about?" She whispered.

"Do you want to move in with me?"

"What?" _That_ train of thought surprised her.

He sat up, and turned on the light, "Think about it, it's a closer commute to work for you, it's quieter than your house and you'd save money."

She blinked at him, "Move in with you?"

"It makes logistical sense." He argued.

"It makes logistical sense?" She repeated.

At that he grinned, "Okay, okay." He said, holding up his hands. "I miss you. I miss having you around. And I'll be starting back at work soon, and our schedules will be crazy, but if we're under one roof, there's a better chance I can see you."

"Move in with you." She echoed.

It was momentous wasn't it? That kind of decision. She knew it was. She'd be adjusting, they'd have to adjust their lives to work together. But they weren't doing that bad so far.

"Please?" He tried again.

And for something so monumental, she found that the answer came so easily.

"Yes. Okay. I'll move in with you."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you liked this chapter...I'd love to know what you think!_


	23. Chapter 23

"This is the last box." Connor called, as he kicked the door closed behind him, carrying in a box Sarah had apparently labelled as 'family memories'.

"Oh great." Sarah said, sitting amid the boxes currently stacked in his, _their_ , living room. "I honestly didn't know I had gathered up so much stuff."

"And I told you its fine." He reminded her with a smile.

She woke up that morning with the realisation that it was finally happening, that she was moving in. _With a guy._ It still felt like she should be nervous, or anxious, or that it was a huge deal. But Sarah had found that she was just excited and happy. Like it wasn't that big of a deal, it was the easiest thing in the world.

It had turned out that she still had three weeks' notice to give on her room in her old house. But the weekend had finally come that she was moving in with Connor. He had finally gotten the all-clear to return to work the day before and would be starting back to work the day after she moved in. And Sarah couldn't help but thinking that their timing was perfect. It had given her enough time to pack all of her belongings, mostly all medical books and research notes, and let her family know.

They had been surprised, to say the least. She couldn't blame them. She was the level-headed eldest child, she never jumped into something so serious so quickly before. Look at how long and hard she had mulled over her residency placement during her rotation. But she found that the only thing she needed to know about this particular decision was that Connor loved her. And she saw it in his eyes every time he looked at her.

It was Connor's last day off before he started back to work the following day, and Sarah had planned to do something nice with him, to go for dinner or call and see Claire. But he told her that he was more than happy just helping her to move her stuff in. He didn't own much personal things, the few pictures in his room, being the majority of it, and she could tell that he was nearly excited to get a look at a few of the family albums she had with her, or anything with a story behind it.

So that was how they spent their first evening and night together, sifting through her belongings, finding places for them. The spare room had nearly become Sarah's own personal library by the end of the night. And she was touched when she noticed that he had had the picture from their first date framed and now hanging in the living room.

They got an early night, comparing their work schedules and how they were going to piece their lives in together. She knew that they'd probably have arguments over who's turn it was to do the washing, or cleaning up or any other array of nit-picking topics, but she was happy.

She would love to go back a year and tell herself that she would eventually be living with Connor Rhodes. She wouldn't have believed it. At all. She never thought it would have worked out. They seemed so different on paper. And she had always thought that he was out of her league. But there they were the following morning, waking up and preparing for the day ahead, together.

He made breakfast, she made the coffees, something that they always had a laugh at. If she hadn't been serving him coffee that one morning, she would have never gotten the residency, never mind, getting together with Connor. They rode to work in his car. And got to enter Med together.

They still weren't pushing any boundaries, there was strictly no PDA, they didn't want to draw any attention to themselves. They didn't want to be seen as being distracted by each other. Sarah went over some notes in the lounge, while Connor went up to cardiology to check back in with his superiors.

Then the day began for Sarah when her shift started. Shadowing an older resident, taking time with some of her regular patients, assisting in surgeries. She grabbed a quick lunch with Natalie and April, who wanted to know how moving in had gone. Her day was going as was expected, before she met Dr Gellar in the hallway, talking hurriedly with Connor. Dr Gellar was looking towards the bustling cardiology bay, before catching sight of Sarah.

"Brilliant, Dr Reese, there's no other residents available, can you please assist Dr Rhodes in the ED?"

She stopped between the two, the question caught her by surprise but she recovered from it, "Yeah, of course." She said before taking off after a rushing Connor towards the elevators.

They got into the empty elevator going down. "Seriously? I can assist you?"

He looked over at her with a lopsided smile, "Apparently, we're allowed to work together now."

"Yeah." She nodded, "That's good, right?" She frowned. Because what if it was some test by the supervisors? Or worse, what if Connor didn't feel like having to work with her, as well as living with her?

"Absolutely." He told her, stealing a quick kiss and she felt a small smile grow onto her lips. She released a breath she didn't know that she was holding.

"Okay." She squared her shoulders as the elevator dinged, and they went to battle together against the madness of the Med ED.

She walked into the lounge after the gruelling treatment of a patient with an obstruction to their heart, a part of a pipe had impaled the man at work, he had survived and was in surgery now. She had Connor had brought him up to the OR up a team was already in place and they had an impromptu break.

She got in line behind Connor for the coffee machine, when Maggie entered the room. She greeted the pair and walked past before stopping and turning on the spot with a smile growing on her face.

"Hey, you two."

"Hi Maggie." Sarah said, echoing Connor's greeting.

"So, I heard the good news." She told them, hands on her hips. "You two, moving in together."

"Eh, yeah." Connor said, stepping aside to let Sarah have her caffeine shot.

"Connor, do you know what that calls for?" She asked him as Sarah stirred the contents of her mug.

"Do I _want_ to know what it calls for Maggie?" He asked.

"You have to have a house warming party." She told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sarah took a sip of her coffee, hiding her smile because watching Maggie and Connor back and forth was always an amusement, but she always knew that Maggie got her way with most things with most people.

"We live in an apartment." He reminded her.

"Apartment warming then," She sighed, waving away the details. " _And_ …it's the perfect get together opportunity for the staff."

Ah…Sarah nodded to herself, she was wondering when it was going to come up again. Maggie had the idea of a staff party for a while now. Sarah had heard along the grapevine that Maggie was a bit put out by the fact that the firefighters at Molly's were seemingly always having get-togethers and fundraisers. And why not Med? Sarah put it down to Hermann riling Maggie up about it all. She had broached Ms Goodwin, but had been shot down, there wasn't enough resources for the sort of party Maggie wanted. Sarah knew Maggie never gave up that easily, April had informed her that she had scaled the party size down, but the other details had yet to be ironed out. She had spent her time now organising the roster so their little family and some of the other ED staff could have a get together.

"So you want me to invite half the staff I've never talked to into our apartment…for a party?" Connor clarified, and Sarah couldn't help the jump her heart gave when he had already started referring to it as _their_ apartment.

"No," Maggie told him as if he had been asking a stupid question, "Just the people who usually work on the same roster, who you _do_ know, to a small gathering in your apartment. Part apartment warming, part Med party. It's like killing two birds with one stone." She explained.

Connor glanced at Sarah, wondering what she thought. She didn't know herself.

"Please. I promise it'll be just like Owen's party, just a casual get together. I'm running out of ways to get all our people in one room. My ED barbeque was shot down, my staff lunch was dismissed, please." She begged, her hands clasped together.

Connor looked back at Sarah, who could just nod her head and smile, Maggie had helped her out so much, it was the least she could do.

Connor sighed, "Alright, fine. You organise a time and date, we have the venue." But even he couldn't help but smile at Maggie's excitement to his answer.

Later that evening, letting herself into an empty apartment felt slightly odd. Connor got caught up at work, so she took the short bus ride home.

Home.

It was home. It didn't really matter what was hanging on the wall, or where their stuff went, it was home because Connor wanted her there, because she wanted him there. Because they were happy there, together.

She had a quick shower and changed her clothes and sat down to read the paper when her phone rang.

She picked up her phone from where it buzzed on the table, "Hey Mom."

"Hi Honey, how are you?"

"I'm good, how are you and Dad?"

As she talked, the door opened and Connor came through, dropping his work bag on the table by the door, he waved to her when he noticed her on the phone.

"We're good, Laura is getting some holidays next week, and Emma's exams are over."

"Yeah, they messaged me that. It's good for them. How did the fundraiser go?" She asked, before Connor kissed her quickly.

"Oh it was great, my stall outsold Carol Harries' one by a mile, you should have seen her face…" Her Mom went on about the recent local fundraiser for the children's hospital nearby as Sarah listened.

Life was good for Sarah. She loved Chicago. She loved her job. She loved Connor. But she did miss her family, and her childhood home. She missed the annual fundraiser the rallied serious competition in the neighbourhood, she missed everyone on her street knowing her name, and she missed dinner time where her poor father tried to get a word in with five women nattering away.

She got up to go and sit beside Connor on the sofa, snuggling into his side, while her mother relayed the story and all the local news.

"So we were all thinking of giving you a surprise." Her Mom said.

"What kind of surprise?" She sat up a bit straighter at the news, Connor stayed where he was, giving her space, but keeping a hand on her back.

"Well, we know you're so busy with work, and you don't have time to be travelling across the country to see us." Her Mom said, "And we're working on organising us all, but how about the rest of us come to you?"

"What?"

"Well, giving that Hannah can get the same days off, the rest of the Reese's could come to Chicago to see you?"

"Come to Chicago? All of you?" She echoed.

"Yes! And it would give us a chance to meet Connor…" Her Mom went on.

Ah, Sarah thought, there it was. The real reason. They all wanted to meet the man that Sarah had fallen so hard and fast for that she had moved in with him without much notice.

"You want to meet Connor?" she asked, looking around to catch Connor's eye, silently asking him if it was okay with him. "Mom, we're pretty busy…"

But instead of the blind terror she had seen in one of college boyfriend's eyes when meeting her family was mentioned, or the brushing off that Joey had given her, all she saw was calm acceptance reflected back at her.

"I know. But surely you can fit in dinner at least, we'd love to meet him." Her Mom went on, "And Sweetie, we haven't heard half enough about him. And we miss you. Your father and I would love to see you, we could even call by the hospital for lunch."

"Okay, well I miss you too, we can definitely organise something, just let me know when you're coming okay?"

"Oh I will, as soon as I hear."

"Okay Mom."

"Okay, well I better go Sarah, I love you."

"I love you too Mom." Sarah said, hanging up the phone, and placing it on the sofa, before turning to face Connor.

"Are you sure you want to be ambushed by my family?" She asked him, wondering if he had momentarily lost his mind.

"Yeah, I'd like to meet them." He told her.

"They are a bit full on when they're all together." She warned him.

"You _have_ met my family haven't you?" He countered with a grin.

"Yes but this is my parents, and three sisters. You know, I knew my Dad wasn't happy when I told him I was moving, he said he was, but he wasn't. He's coming to interrogate you." At this point, she was panicking to herself rather than Connor.

"Hey…" He said, nudging her back towards him, "I _want_ to meet them." He reassured her.

"Really?" She asked.

"Definitely."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

It was a fortnight later, and Sarah stood in front of the mirror, wondering if the dress was a bit much. It was a dark blue dress that clinched in at her waist and flared out slightly and fell to her knee. She wore her hair up, just to have an excuse to wear the earrings that Connor had gotten her for her birthday the week previous.

Since leaving home, her birthday had always been an understated affair, if she even did anything for it at all. But this year, it had been just like home.

She had gotten a surprise cake from the rest of their gang at her break time in work. Will had been very pleased with himself that he had kept the secret. She had even received a birthday card signed by the staff in cardiology just before her shift was over, something that made her really feel like she was finally fitting in. She had finally got a night out at Molly's with the ED staff, and half the Chicago emergency service workers, or so it had felt like. Most of Firehouse 51, and the intelligence department stopped by her to wish her a happy birthday. She got to catch up with Dawson and Brett, and see people she hadn't seen for a while.

The only thing that hadn't worked out was the fact that her family couldn't make it out for her birthday, but they were flying out for the day after Maggie's staff party.

A party that was set to start in t minus fifteen minutes.

"Hey," Connor said, entering their bedroom, from checking on the caterers in the kitchen. He remained adamant that there was no point in having a sister with good connections and not using them, the caterers came on good recommendations. And Claire got herself an invitation too, it was an 'apartment warming' too, after all.

Then he stopped walking and stood to look over at her. "Wow. You look beautiful."

She smiled, and blushed, at his words, "You don't think it's too much?" She asked, scrunching up her nose as she looked back at her reflection.

"No, you look perfect." He said, crossing the room.

"Okay." She said, tipping her head to one side, and straightening invisible creases in the skirt.

"You do." He told her, as he stood behind her, meeting her eyes in the reflection.

"Hey, can you…could you help me zip this up?" She asked, looking over her shoulder at him, holding the back of her dress.

"Of course." He told her, before taking the zip from her and pushing it up gently. She couldn't help but shiver slightly as his fingers danced up her back.

"Hey, anyone home?" They both glanced at the mirror, catching each other's eye, with a smile on their lips, when they heard Maggie's voice from the doorway.

"And that's our cue." Sarah said.

"Be right there Maggie." Connor called in a loud voice, kissing Sarah's cheek before leaving the room.

She ended up smiling at herself in the mirror now. It was the perfect birthday week. Actually, she thought, making sure her hair was in place, everything was perfect.

She would _not_ have thought that all those months ago, after leaving medical school, with no residency, a boyfriend who didn't want to hear about her career woes, her Dad being sick on and off, and feeling completely lost.

But here she was now, Dr Sarah Reese, cardiology resident (doing quite well, thank you very much), living with her supportive boyfriend, and she was going to see her family the next day.

Life was perfect.

With that thought in her head, and the sound of Connor laughing in the next room, Sarah gave herself the once over in the mirror again, before leaving the room and making her way to _their_ living room where April was sat with Maggie, laughing with Connor.

"There you are!" April exclaimed, jumping up to hug Sarah, "And you look amazing!"

"Thank you. I'm glad you're here." She replied, glancing over as a knock came to the door. "I'll just go get that."

Ethan was waiting on the other side, and after that the knocks kept coming, and Sarah kept answering, and the small gathering grew bigger. She lost Connor who was chatting to Dr Charles in the kitchen, and got chatting to Gabriella and Matt.

It was a while later into the evening, Sarah stood back from the crowd, sipping her drink, taking it all in. Life couldn't get much better, she decided.

Connor caught her eye from across the room and made his way over to her.

"Did I mention you look beautiful this evening?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his side.

"Yes. But I don't mind hearing it again." She admitted with a smile.

"Well, you look beautiful." He said in a deep voice, leaning down to get close to her ear and kissing her hair.

"Are you trying to distract me?" She looked up at him, a smile playing on her lips.

"Is it working?"

"Little bit." She laughed.

"I called it!" April's voice sounded from the other side of the room as soon as the door had opened again, and two people walked in together, hand in hand. It wasn't just two people, Sarah noticed, craning her neck to get a better view, but Will and Natalie. "I knew something was up!"

"Please, this news is weeks old." Will rolled his eyes in jest and delighted in the fact that he knew something before the nurses did.

"Great, you're finally here." Sarah said, hurrying over to the pair and ushering them towards the table where the food was, "thanks for coming, here grab something to eat…" She rattled on as the conversations in the room started back up again.

Natalie hugged her close, "Thank you." She told her. "I know everyone needed to know, but Will and his theatrics." She smiled.

"I get it." She told Natalie, glancing towards Connor, and she did. Dating someone you worked with wasn't easy, and Sarah didn't like specific attention either, but it was worth it.

Everything in the room went back to normal, Claire was in an intense discussion with Dr Charles, Maggie was chatting with Doris, and Connor and Will were arguing like an old married couple, as Sarah led Natalie to an empty seat.

"You seem really happy, you deserve it." Sarah said, sitting down beside Natalie.

"I am." Sarah watched as the older doctor tried in vain not to smile. "I was apprehensive, with Jeff, and Owen and everything…" She shrugged, "but it's good." She nodded.

"Wait, so was it Will you were out with the night I minded Owen?" Sarah asked, everything was clicking into place in her head. Will's huge smile when Natalie texted him, the sight of red hair in the window. She idly wondered which of the staff had won the 'Will and Nat' bet pool.

"It was, it all started at Owen's birthday party actually." Natalie replied sheepishly. Sarah just laughed, it seemed like a lifetime ago, but even her and Connor's relationship had officially started at that party too.

The 'apartment warming' party went on, and on, and someone had even turned on the music speakers, and an impromptu dancefloor had been created in the dining section. Sarah was in the middle of catching up with Claire when Connor came over.

He held out his hand to her. She looked at it blankly.

"What?" She asked him, looking at his outstretched hand, and then back up to his eyes.

"Come dance with me." He smiled.

"What?" She suddenly a lot more unsure of herself. She didn't dance.

"Dance with me, please?"

She hesitated and he continued on, "C'mon, I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room…"

"Go on." Claire laughed, nudging Sarah into Connor's arms and the next thing Sarah knew was that she was in the middle of the 'dance floor' swaying to a slow song with Connor.

She wished someone would take a picture of them. To have evidence, and to show her sisters. It was what she had dreamed up as a little girl, dancing with someone she loved, in a lovely dress, with the biggest smile on her face.

She didn't even notice the song end, and another one begin. She was too lost in the rhythm of their movement and the look in Connor's eyes.

"Hey." A voice burst through the bubble they were in and Sarah turned her gaze from Connor's eyes to find Noah Sexton standing beside them. A little bit too close. "Can I cut in?" he asked, with as much eagerness as a playful puppy.

Sarah was about to let go of Connor's hands, Noah had asked nicely, and it was polite wasn't it?

"No." Connor deadpanned at him. Sarah had to look up at him, she thought he was joking, he wasn't. His face was deadly serious, and Sarah looked on as Noah's confidence dissipated fairly quickly and he disappeared into the crowd again.

"Connor!" She said, swatting his chest.

"What?" He replied, "I want to dance with you." He told her. "And he can't just cut in…"

"Jealousy doesn't suit you." She whispered in comment, as he pulled her closer again.

"I'm not jealous." He half-heartedly mumbled, while glaring daggers at Noah's back.

"Then stop trying to murder him with your eyes." She laughed. His eyes found hers again, and his expression softened.

"I love you." She reminded him. "And anyway." She said, laying her head back against his chest, "I don't dance, I'm only dancing because it's _you._ "

The rest of the 'apartment warming' was a blur. A blur of more music, and conversation, and laughing until she couldn't breathe, and people she loved, and pictures being taken, and smiles on everyone's faces.

The crowd left slowly, eventually, as Sarah began yawning. She was just she had taken the next day off to be with her family. It had been a better night than she had expected. She loved her Chicago family as much as she loved her actual family. As the final guest or two departed, Connor and her cleaned up the majority of the mess fairly quickly before collapsing into bed. She went to sleep with a smile on her face night.

She woke up early the next morning at the sound of Connor getting ready for work, bad plan on Maggie's part, Sarah tutted sleepily. She knew Maggie had tried to straighten out everyone's rosters as much as she could. She woke up with a smile on her face too. Her family would be arriving later on, and meeting Connor, which still made her feel slightly nervous, but she couldn't wait to see them.

Connor kissed her softly and told her to go back to sleep, until her alarm rang and told her he'd see her later on. So she turned over and fell back into a deep sleep again had woke up with a smile later on when her phone rang from the bedside locker.

"Hello?" She asked groggily, the screen was too bright to look at yet.

"Hi Sweetie." Sarah's mother's voice rang through from the other side.

"Hi Mom." Sarah said, clearing her throat, and glancing at the clock on the bedside table, it was still early, and her family hadn't planned on making it to the hotel from the airport for another hour or two.

"Look Sarah, honey, I don't want you to worry, but we just landed, and I'm afraid it's your Dad…we're in an ambulance…I think he's had a heart attack…" Her Mom's sobs cut off the rest of her train of conversation and the sound of her mother crying cut Sarah straight through the heart. She sat up quickly.

"Mom, okay, what hospital are you going to?" Her medical training kicked in, she wouldn't panic, and she couldn't, even if her blood was running cold at the thought of her Dad sick, again.

"We're on the way to Med now…I asked, because you work there…and…." Sarah strained to hear her Mom's words from the screeching of the siren in the background.

Sarah was already getting dressed before she knew what she was doing. "Mom, is he okay? What-?" She had a million and one questions ready to go as she grabbed her bag and headed out the door in record time.

"Sarah, hey it's Gabby…" Sarah's Mom's voice disappeared and was replaced by the calm paramedic's instead. "We have your Dad, we're on the way to Med now okay? You can meet us there, we're doing all we can." Dawson's voice came through.

Sarah was momentarily relieved that her family was being taken care of by Gabby and Sylvie. She knew that they'd take great care of him.

But as she made the short commute to work, all Sarah could think about was the fact that they never told her about her Dad's exact condition, they never told her that he was going to be okay...

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading!_

 _Sorry for the Manstead shipping, if it's not your ship, but I personally can't wait to see where season 3 takes them!_

 _And I'm also sorry for the slight Noah bashing, I just don't like Noah and Sarah as much as Connor and Sarah. I just want Rheese for season 3 so bad!_

 _This waiting between seasons is horrible! Roll on season 3! :)_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Sarah had never been this _scared_ turning up to work. She rushed through the emergency doors and smiled at the nurse in the waiting room, and rushed on through. She glanced around the ED frantically and April caught sight of her as she left one of the treatment rooms.

"Hey, Sarah, are you alright?" The nurse asked as she approached.

"April! No, eh, is my Dad here, he should be here by now…" but the rest of her sentence was cut off by the sound of an ambulance rolling in.

"What do we got?" Maggie called from her station.

"Male, mid-fifties, history of heart disease, cardiac arrest, lost consciousness en-route." Gabby responded as Sarah watched as they wheeled her father in on a gurney.

"Dr Halstead, trauma four is free." Maggie called out.

"Got it, thanks Maggie." Will said, running over to escort the trolley into the treatment room. "April, we're going to need…" Will's voice ebbed away behind the glass door as Sarah watched on, frozen to the spot as they started to work on her father.

Everything went silent in her head, like the entire world had frozen. Everything was playing in slow motion.

But then all of a sudden the atmosphere of the ED seemed like it hit her like oncoming train. This is why she became a doctor. To _not_ be helpless. To know how to help her father. And to know how to treat other patients.

All her years of studying and training and tears and hard work. All the self-doubts and heartache and late nights and dedication. If they were ever going to be worth something, she thought, then this moment was it.

She didn't care if she wasn't supposed to be working. She grabbed a pair of gloves, and let herself into the room.

Will was compressing her Dad's chest as April was setting up a line and Doris was trying to measure his frantic vitals.

"Reese?" Will's voice echoed in confusion.

"That's my Dad." She told him with a steely glare, practically urging him to fight her on this. Because she wasn't backing down, she was going to help her Dad.

"Okay." He nodded, "What's his history?"

So she relayed all the information she had gathered along the years, most vitally, the medication that he had been changed to in the last week by his doctors.

Something that she wasn't too happy about, she knew the side effects and the one in a million shot they might counteract his other medication. But he hadn't been too up for taking her opinion. He might not have said it out loud. But she knew that he was annoyed that she hadn't gotten his opinion on Connor before she moved in with him.

And while her father lay on the table, Sarah decided that it as the one on a million shot that had him there.

Sarah took over the compressions while Will sent for some back-up blood work.

"Damn it." Will cursed, as the vitals were worsening not building back up like they had hoped.

"Anything I can help with?" Ethan asked from the door. Sarah glanced up for a split second to see Ethan waiting and a glance at her mother and sisters being consoled by Maggie behind his shoulder.

"Page Dr Rhodes, we're going to need to a better look." Will responded.

His pulse strengthened and Sarah could stop the compressions but his vitals were bounding around the charts. She didn't need to be a doctor to know that it wasn't a good sign.

"Thoughts?" Will asked, asking for another bag of medication to be transferred.

"We need a better look." She confirmed, "A stint a best, eradicating the dead tissue from his left ventricle at worst." She had learnt a long time ago, that panicking in the ED was going to get her nowhere. So she breathed through the thoughts of the bleak odds facing her father, and relied solely on her medical knowledge, not her emotions.

Connor came around the corner and into the treatment room, nearly bumping into her, "Sarah?"

If Will had been confused before, then Connor was completely baffled, not that she could blame him. He had left her a while ago, in their apartment, on her day off, when she had been going back to sleep.

"It's my Dad." She informed him quickly as Will thrust the chart at him and she relayed what was happening. She watched it happen on his face, he took in the snippet of information of who is next patient was, but he turned straight to surgeon mode. Something she was grateful for, she needed to stay unattached as much as she could if they were going to let her stay involved.

"Okay." He said, and swapped a loaded look with Will, one that said _this is important._ "Let's get him to the OR. I'll get Dr Kingston to consult, we won't know what we'll be looking with until we open it up. We won't know the extent of the damage that medicine did."

And with that they were in motion. Connor, Will, April and Sarah following the trolley to the elevator. She could hear Maggie arguing on the phone to open up the _damn_ operating theater, and caught her mother's eye. She gave her the best version of a reassuring smile she could muster.

Dr Kingston was already waiting for them when they reached the doors of the operating room.

"I'll update your family." Will said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as soon as the trolley had been handed over.

"Dr Reese?" Dr Kingston was the next person that she confused with her presence on her day off.

"The patient is my father." The understanding flickered across his face.

"Do you want to scrub in?" he asked as they handed the trolley to the theater nurses and Connor headed around to scrub in.

She didn't know she had the choice, she thought she was going to have to fight for it. She had been told that she was too involved when she tried to assist in Dr Geraghty's emergency operation. She's assumed in the elevator that realistically, she had no chance of being let anywhere near the operating room when her father was involved.

She weighed his question up in a split second. Purely based on her medical experience versus the conflict of emotion. Would she let her emotions and attachments hinder her performance?

Not when it involved her Dad's well-being. She would do whatever she had to.

"Yes, if I'm allowed." She responded.

"You've the makings of a fine cardiologist Dr Reese, and I trust your judgement now. If you feel you can perform fine then you're welcome in my theater."

And that was that.

She scrubbed in alongside Dr Kingston and Connor and in a blur found herself at her father's side. It was worse than they had expected. They had gotten her mother's permission to do whatever was needed. And they had to do everything the team could think of. They tried a stint to unblock the passage but it broke down and they couldn't let anymore complications come because of it. It was removed swiftly and they went towards performing a removal of the tissue.

If it were possible, Sarah didn't think that she had ever seen Connor look so _intense_ about his work before. It was like time had been warped as she stood there, aiding where she could, her gloved hands covered in her fathers blood. She wasn't sure how long they had spent, it could have been minutes, or it could have been hours.

But they had finally removed the final piece when her father's pulse plummeted.

The strangled cry got caught in her throat.

But Dr Kingston had the paddles ready and she stepped back with the others when he called 'clear'.

Two shocks. The longest seconds she had ever encountered in her life. And her Dad's pulse was steady again.

"We have a fighter on our hands." Dr Kingston commented. "Alright, let's stabilize him and wrap it up."

She did her job. And she did it well. She just hoped it was enough.

She was out of the theater and changing out of her scrubs in record time, itching to get to her family. Dr Kingston was filling out some paperwork and would be around to update her family as soon as he could. Connor had had given her a bone crushing hug, and promised her he would call around to see them all as soon as he could, after his pager had beeped.

She didn't remember trekking across the hospital to the canteen but before she knew it, she was standing in the doorway where she saw her Mom and sisters were seated. Natalie was keeping them company and Doris was getting a tray of drinks from the baristas for them.

"Oh Sarah." Her Mom called, tears in her already red eyes, getting up to envelope her in a hug. "Is he okay? What's going on?"

"It's okay, he's okay for now. The surgery went well. They're moving him to the ICU now." She breathed out, the tension draining from her shoulders, for the first time, believing the words she spoke.

Her mother just held onto her tighter than before and Sarah heard Emma, the youngest sob into Lauren's shoulder as Hannah sat there, with the haunted look in her eye seeping away.

"That's so good to hear." Natalie said, relaying the information to Doris who took her own turn to hug Sarah, after Nat.

"I've got to get back to work. I'll by as soon as I get a chance."

"Yeah of course, thank you Natalie." Sarah's mother said in earnest, before Sarah led her family over to the ICU.

Dr Kingston was there to meet them, while the team hooked her Dad up to more monitors. He relayed what had happened and what the plan of action was, reassuring them.

Before he left, he turned back, "Your daughter's got a bright future in medicine Mrs Reese."

Sarah wanted to take a picture of the beaming smile on her mother's face from his words, one that she could feel was reflected on her own.

Ethan called around soon after, double checking the files for Sarah's peace of mind and checking if her family needed anything. He had only left when a few of the residents and nurses on their break from cardiology came by to off their help if she needed it.

Will had come in, armed with more drinks for them all, when Lauren finally voiced what Sarah assumed they were all thinking.

"Wow. Seriously you mentioned you had friends but this is ridiculous."

"They're my family." Was the only way she could explain it. "We look out for each other."

Her Mom took the seat by her Dad's bedside while her sisters took the others, Sarah just stood there, her eyes never wandering from the monitors.

The team of ICU doctors came by on their rounds and the nurses checked in every time they passed.

When the first few critical hours had passed Sarah felt herself relaxing slightly, enough to sit on the arm rest of one of her sister's chairs.

She saw him before the others did, Connor coming across the hallway. With a nervous expression on his face, just like he had on their first date. Then she remembered it would actually be the first time he met her Mom.

He knocked on the edge of the door, and she shot him a reassuring smile.

"Hey" She said to him, before turning back to her Mom, "Mom, this is Connor."

"Hi Mrs Reece, it's nice to finally meet you, I'm sorry it wasn't under better circumstances." Connor said, crossing the space to shake her hand.

"Oh, call me Katherine, it's nice to meet you." Sarah watched on as her Mom by passed his hand and went straight in to hug him. She figured her poor Mom was in no state to start an interrogation of her boyfriend. And she might have happened to mention that Connor had assisted in the life-saving surgery.

She bit back a smile, because Connor had not been expecting such a warm welcome, no matter how cool he had acted about meeting them, she could see the tension in his shoulders. And then watched it ebb away when he got over the slight shock of being hugged and placed a reassuring hand on her Mom's back.

Her Mom finally released him from her hold and Sarah could introduce him to her sisters. Not that they needed any introduction, they had haunted her for the past few months for pictures of him.

"This is Lauren, Emma and you've met Hannah." Sarah said. He hit them with one of his charming smiles and she knew he was definitely eager to make a good first impression.

"Thank you for everything you've done." Her Mom said, indicating to Sarah's Dad.

"I was just doing my job, I'm glad I could help."

"Hey, how are we all doing?" Maggie asked as she appeared in the doorway.

"Good thanks Maggie." Sarah smiled.

"Any sign of movement?" She asked gently, and Sarah didn't know if she did it consciously or not, but her hand found Connor's.

"Not yet, he should be waking up soon though." Sarah replied, and hated the worried looks her words caused on her little sisters' faces.

She could feel the looks they shot her when her and Connor ran through the vitals and medication, debating if there was any other course of action, but ultimately agreeing that what her Dad was on now was for the best.

Connor's pager beeped again, "That's Ethan, I better go, I'll be back later." He promised, placing a kiss on her forehead before saying goodbye to the rest of the Reese women.

"He's even prettier in person." Emma, her youngest sister, breathed out, as Connor walked away, just out of earshot.

"Believe me Sweetie, we all know." Maggie said with a mischievous smile while Sarah was just happy to see ghosts of smiles on her Mom and sisters' faces.

The rest of the day went by with no complications. Everyone came by to check in on them a couple of more times, Natalie and Will getting everyone something to eat once their shift ended. And Connor popped his head in a few times again, unable to get much of a break from the onslaught of emergency operations that had flooded in that day.

It quickly turned dark outside, the curtains were closed in the room, and the staff in the ICU all changed shift. It didn't matter to Sarah, she still knew them all from the time Connor had been there. Connor offered to bring everyone back to their apartment so they could get some rest and proper food, but not one of them wanted to move a muscle.

Her Dad's recovery was going well, his stats were stable and his heart beat and blood pressure were finally normalizing. But he still hadn't woken up, and it niggled in the back of Sarah's mind.

She wasn't sure what time it was when Connor finally came in, his own clothes on instead of his work ones, but everyone else was asleep.

She had got her own chair sometime during the day and he slipped into the room quietly, so not to wake the others and he hunkered down beside her.

"Hey." Connor's voice whispered before she felt him kiss her shoulder.

"Hi." She whispered back.

"Sarah, are you okay?"

And just like that, the dam broke. All the emotions that she had been holding in for the sake of her family came flooding out. She finally didn't have to be the alert Dr Reese for a few moments, she could just be Sarah

She wasn't sure he could understand what she was saying through her quiet sobs but it didn't really matter. He was there. And that was what mattered.

"I was so scared." She said as her head rested on his shoulder and his arm was around her waist.

"I know. I'm so sorry." He replied, holding her closer.

"I didn't know if I could do it…be in the operating room…I didn't know if I could…"

"You did. You were great. I've been telling you that since day one…"

That drew half a laugh, half a sob from her throat.

"He'll wake up soon." He told her firmly.

"I hope so."

She rubbed at her wet and tired eyes.

"I love your family." He stated, "Any chance me helping to save your Dad's life will get me some brownie points?"

"I would think so."

"I'm jealous." He admitted. "You've got a great family."

"Yeah I'm quite fond of them."

"I always wanted one like that."

"Well you've got me now, and they kind of come with me, so you're stuck with them too."

"I'd like that." He admitted, "We should visit them soon."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, its sounds great, especially when your Dad gets better…"

"I'd love that."

"I love you." He told her and it never failed to make her heart flutter ever so slightly.

"I love you too."

"Do you want to get some rest, I'll stay awake in case he wakes up, you should sleep if you can."

"No," She shook her head, "I'll stay up. Will you stay with me?" She hated to ask, especially when he was tired from working.

"I'd stay with you forever." He promised.

He stood up quietly, "I'll go get us some coffee." He offered.

"Thanks, that'd be great." The tiredness was really beginning to take hold.

He double checked the monitors before slipping out of the room again. The quietness settled around her again.

"I like him." Her Dad's voice echoed quietly in the darkened room. "Didn't think I would, but I do."

His throat was dry, but she didn't think she had ever been so happy to hear her Dad's voice. She was at his side in an instant, pressing the button for the ICU staff to come and check on him, and giving him a sip of water.

"I'm so glad you're awake Dad, you gave us all a fright." She told him, taking hold of his hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm just stubborn is all."

"It runs in the family." She reminded him with a smile.

"You look good, you look happy." He said, when he had opened his eyes.

"I am Dad. I'm really happy."

* * *

 _A/N: Hope you liked it! I'd love to know what you thought!_

 _I'll be away from my computer for a week so the next update should be up on Wednesday the 16th._

 _I'm afraid to say that the next update for this story will be the last chapter. I can't thank you enough if you've read this far in the story. But I've written all the things that I set out to when I first started this story back in April. I think my version of Rheese in this story has finally worked out for the best and I'm so happy to where I've got them to. I hope you are too._

 _So, I can't wait to see what you think of the finale of this story. Until next time._


	26. Chapter 26

… **Two years later…**

To say that it was a busy day for Dr Sarah Reese would be an understatement.

She and Connor had just moved their things into their new home the night before and that morning she had had her final round of interviews with hopes of getting her fellowship in emergency cardiology at Chicago Med. Not only was she busy with her usual rounds but the students on rotation were currently working their last shifts before gradation and having far too much fun pranking the rest of the staff.

But despite the all the manic atmosphere, the nervous energy that was flowing through her and the work she had to do, she kept noticing the oddest things.

It was a strange line of coincidences that she kept coming across.

She was sure that she was just sleep deprived or something because she _did not_ remember highlighting her notes the day before. Yet there in front of her, as she studied in the lounge, were the photocopy of some cases she had taken, with two random r's highlighted in yellow highlighter.

It was just plain weird, because she would never just highlight two random letters, but she couldn't dwell on it. She was finding it hard enough to concentrate because her entire future career was being debated by her superiors just a few rooms away.

When she had treated herself to a latte in the canteen, they had written Will's name on it instead of Sarah. It didn't matter, the drink was still the same, but it was odd. She put it down to the thought that the barista must be trying to send Dr Halstead a hint through Sarah's choice of coffee. It wouldn't have been the first time something like that had happened around Med. Will was nearly up there with Connor with the amount of admiring glances he got. She pushed it to the back of her mind when she had her drink in the company of Doris and Ethan, trying to let their conversation distract her from her nerves.

But then she had had popped down to Maggie at the ED desk in the afternoon to ask for some paper copies of the files she needed. And Maggie signed the bottom of them. With just an M. and had got April to sign her initial too. Apparently it was some new security protocol, everything transferred between departments would be traceable. Sarah wasn't going to argue, she didn't have time.

When Sarah found a piece of paper with 'why?" scribbled on it, stuck to her locker, she didn't pass any heed to it and promptly threw it away, putting it down to student trouble making and trying to enjoy her lunch with Connor.

Connor was nearly as nervous as she was about it all. She was aiming to complete her fellowship in Med, practising emergency cardiology. She loved cardiology. But she had also loved helping out in the ED, the madness of it all and being able to immediately implement help. So why not combine the two? It was ambitious, she knew, but she had to have faith in herself and her abilities.

He tried to reassure her all through their lunch break. That if the worst happened then he would move anywhere that would see how much of a brilliant doctor she was. Sarah personally didn't think that Med would be too happy if he left, his career had all but skyrocketed. Connor's work, though not under Dr Downey as he still would have liked, was getting more recognition, he was becoming renowned and sometimes demanded in his field. But he remained adamant that Chicago Med was home. And it was the kind of good publicity that Ms Goodwin was more than happy about.

Will met up with them just as their lunch was finishing to check if Sarah had got her answer yet. It was slightly pointless, in Sarah's opinion, because Maggie had told her in no uncertain terms that she had to page each of them with the news the moment she heard. But it turned out that Will just came over to jokingly complain about a pain in his back from moving their stuff the day before.

Her and Connor had been house hunting for a while. Her little sister Emma had moved in with them in their apartment while she was going to college, and between that and Sarah's ever increasing medical book shelves, they had decided that they needed extra space. So they decided to buy a house together.

It was an odd merger, her old family with her new. Hannah became Owen's regular babysitter while in college. While Connor would stay with her family when at conferences in her old city. But Sarah knew that she wouldn't want it any other way. Connor was taken with the small neighbour that she was from, and they had had long talks, day and night, that still made her heart race in excitement, of buying a forever house for themselves. And at some stage, having a family.

After many, many, house viewings and having properties snatched right under their noses in the cut throat estate world. They had finally found the right one. The commute to work was just the right amount, it was in a growing neighbourhood and it had just felt like home the moment they crossed the threshold.

It was on a rare Saturday afternoon then, when nearly everyone was off, that the moving began. Maggie and Doris helped them to pack things up and Ethan and Will moved the boxes for them. It was a family effort. And that effort just made the entire place feel more like home.

She was still waiting on tenterhooks an hour later, ordering another coffee from the canteen, which she knew wasn't going to help with the nervous energy bounding around inside her but she needed the familiar comfort of caffeine. The barista called her order of a regular cappuccino with a shot of vanilla and Sarah looked over.

"Oh that's me." And when she accepted the cup, the word 'me' was scribbled where her name should be.

She didn't have the capacity to think too much about it and went on about her rounds before she finally got _the_ call. She was sent up to Dr Kingston's office where he and Ms Goodwin were waiting. An odd sense of déjà-vu settled over her as she entered. She had been here before, she just hoped that it would end with the same good news as the first time.

It was.

She sent the page in a blur of excitement and utter delight.

She got her fellowship in Chicago Med.

Connor found her first, his smile a mile wide and his arms swinging her around. Then one by one, the rest of the page recipients came to find her. She rang her family afterwards, who were nearly as happy as she was. After her shift she was treated to a night out in Molly's with her Chicago family. They even had a sign saying 'Congratulations Sarah', hung from the bar. The colouring was a bit off on the letter u but she didn't pass it much notice. She felt more secure in herself with her little party now than she had when she had got her residency three years previous. Connor was a constant by her side. And she knew the rest of them better than she knew herself. She had even the added crowd of the residents and nurses from cardiology to celebrate with.

She thought the day couldn't get any better.

Until she and Connor were walking home.

And she had enough time to think about everything that had happened that day. Enough time to process everything. And then it all just fell into place like a puzzle. Like a patient's symptoms pointing to a diagnosis.

The two r's highlighted, Will's name on her coffee, Maggie and April's initials, the why note, the 'me' on her other coffee order and the faded u.

R. R. Will. M. A. Why? Me. U.

R. R. Will. M. A. Y?. Me. You.

Connor was saying something but all Sarah could focus on was the odd occurrences of the day, rearranging letters in her head as they climbed the front porch steps of their new home.

Will You Marry Me?

She came to a halt while he unlocked the door, shaking her head at her own thoughts. It was impossible. It was just a lot of little coincidences, and she over thought things too much, she knew it well. But this was a stretch, even for her.

She didn't believe it until she followed after Connor inside and stopped.

Her mouth dropped open.

She nearly didn't recognise their living room.

It was filled with only the soft lighting of the fairy lights that hung from the ceiling, and every surface available. Some in strings scattered around the furniture, other in glass jars. Between the lights from the ceiling hung framed photographs.

With one thing in common.

In every photograph there was a picture of her and Connor.

Their first date. The picture that was her screen saver. Them and their friends at Mollys. Ones her sisters had taken. With Claire. At the apartment warming. Pictures he had taken of her.

She nearly didn't believe her eyes.

"I was kind of wondering if you had caught onto my clues yet…" Connor said as he gently took her hand and led her further into the living room.

She nodded dumbly, not trusting her voice.

"You always say I should spell out what I'm thinking if I start to bottle it up." A grin appeared on his lips. "I'll have you know it was nearly impossible to stop everyone telling you, but I needed help."

Of course, Maggie and April, the baristas in the canteen, and any assortment of their medical family to place clues around.

"You knew I'd figure it out." She whispered at him. She wasn't sure why she was whispering, but she just felt like she couldn't ruin the moment. She had always wanted a fairy-tale, and how much closer could she get than this?

"I always tell you that you pick up on the small things." His smile bigger, and hers did too. Because he put work into this.

"So…" He said, taking her other hand, and it was then that she saw it. The nervous expression cross over his face. The exact same one he wore on their first date, the first time he met her Mom, the time she had been put on bed rest with the flu and the first time he had ever mentioned the possibility of them having kids in the future. This was serious. And it was actually happening and Sarah felt like she needed to pinch herself.

"I put a lot of thought into where and how I was going to do this." He said, looking her in the eye. "I thought about the coffee shop where we met when you were working there, or our favourite restaurant, or at a family dinner…"

All Sarah could think about was the fact that she couldn't stop smiling.

"And eventually I realised that why not here and now? In our new home. With your new work direction. With all these new beginnings." She could see him take a breath before bending down on one knee in front of her. "And we could have another new beginning together too."

"Sarah." He said. "I _know_ that you are the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Listening to your rants on medical opinions, and watching crappy movies with you, and waking up beside you every morning, and knowing that you're always on my side. You make my life such a better one because you're in it. I don't know what I'd do without you anymore. You've taught me so much and there's so much of a future we could have together. You're the most determined, caring, beautiful person I could ever know. And I want to know if you would do me the honour of marrying me?"

She wasn't sure that her heart could be filled with more love than it was in that moment. But looking in his eyes, looking back at how far they had come and how much they had gone through, there was only ever one answer that flew through her mind and her heart.

"Yes. Yes. Yes, of course."

Because although everything in her life was changing, and in a state of flux, like so many times before. There was two things that were a constant and never wavering presence in her life.

Connor Rhodes loved Sarah Reese.

Sarah loved Connor.

* * *

 _An: Thank so, so, so, so much for reading right until the end! I honestly can't thank each of you enough for reading my little story and giving it so much support. I'm ridiculously happy that you have enjoyed my updates and kept coming back to read more._

 _To everyone who has taken the time to review, thank you. I have absolutely loved hearing your thoughts on this all, and I'm so grateful for all the encouragement, the opinions and the kind words._

 _Anyway, here's hoping that Rheese becomes canon! (Because seriously these two characters have so much chemistry in the little screen time they have together, imagine what the show could do if they gave them more scenes together?!)_

 _So, so, much love for all of you._

 _Thank you._

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